


Shall We?

by yeolimerent



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: BaekYeol - Freeform, Basketball Player Park Chanyeol, Boyfriends, ChanBaek - Freeform, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Pining, Romance, University AU, a bit of angst, cover artist baekhyun, kinda slowburn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-27
Updated: 2019-11-27
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:54:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 41,736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21572569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yeolimerent/pseuds/yeolimerent
Summary: Baekhyun has always been fascinated by the basketball captain. Everyday he'd always mention in his journal how his day would have been with him as his boyfriend. Who would have thought that one day, he'll be seeing him in front of his classroom— with a smirk and an awfully familiar notebook in his hand?
Relationships: Byun Baekhyun/Park Chanyeol
Comments: 168
Kudos: 1832





	1. Where shall we go?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, everyone! This was my adopted prompt from BAE 2019 archive (#1182). I decided to post this fic on Chanyeol's birthday (and cb hehe). It's my first time writing a fluff so I hope you bear with me :---( some scenes were also inspired by some movies/series i've watched so if u notice any resemblance, it's purely intentional. ^^ Please also keep in mind that I am not an expert in Korean setting so the details in this au are all fictional :)
> 
> Also, I have a short [**Spotify playlist**](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5pqHeHnjHqn2d19BfIFM6i?si=F8f34nNARQ-bQDGpB-djmA) for this fic. 
> 
> Thank you, thank you to Kate (fluffyeols) for helping me beta! This turned out longer than I expected. I hope you can leave some comments after, too! Enjoy the comeback loves! ♥♥♥

_I mean… look at him._

“2 points for Yonsei.” the commentator said, “KU definitely needs to step up their game.”

_Remember when I was convincing myself that he couldn’t look so good in every hair color? Well… I take it back. I take it all back because silver looks fucking TASTY on him._

“Aaaand, 3 points again for Yonsei! Park is definitely setting the. Whole. Arena. On. Fire. Everybody.”

The commentator may sound biased, but the deafening cheers in the arena are already a solid proof. Everyone has their eyes on the tallest player sprinting to the other side of the court, running his fingers on his silver hair while a big grin forms on his lips.

_Damn._

_Sometimes I feel like the cheerleading team isn’t doing him justice. I’d do a better job if I was there. I’d probably shout how much he deserves the whole world in different languages, at the top of my lungs. Try me._

_But hey, Park Chanyeol, you’re missing the chance. You’re not my boyfriend soooo, for the meantime, I’ll stay in the upper box section with my laziest and subtlest coo._

“Two points for KU!”

“Last fifteen seconds and the whole arena is on their feet! We’ll know soon who’s taking the trophy home… and hmm do you smell back to back, Seho?”

“With the points we have now? There’s still a chance for KU to take the victory. They’re not known for last minute wins for nothing!”

“Ah, yes, it’s definitely a risky gap.”

The boy in his Spongebob sweater sat straight from leaning back lazily. His gaze moved from the large scoreboard to the running players on the court. Well, just on the silver-haired one, actually.

When the opposing team scored another point, the crowd became even more heated with reactions. This particular boy in the audience only stared intently, he was gulping while mumbling some mantra as if he’s a witch that can add a hundred points on Yonsei’s score within five seconds.

But then, it’s suddenly the other way around. He’s probably the one bewitched. Because Baekhyun tried focusing on the game itself, but the most intense five seconds for everyone became a slow motion moment for him. And even if you refuse to believe it, he was able to dismiss everybody else and watch every detail of one particular person alone. From the way his brows creased, the way he bit his lower lip, the sweat that was trickling down his face and…

“PARK MANAGED A THREE-POINT SHOT FOR YONSEI!”

“AND THE INTERCOLLEGIATE CHAMPION—”

The way his fist victoriously punched through the air while his teammates ran towards him, or his big smile that has everyone swooned, Baekhyun noticed them all.

The cheers of people around overpowered the buzzing sound. Yonsei took the victory once again, mostly because of their point-center slash team captain.

This is why he likes the upper box better. Being in the bleachers doesn’t offer you this view. When the game ends, what you’ll see is a bunch of sweaty backs blocking your view of your biggest crush. From this area, he can see everything and he’s able to daydream without having to worry about being caught and shown at the screen.

Byun Baekhyun leaned back on his seat; he’s the only one in a calm state. He only watched them with a small smile on his face, feeling satisfied with simply the sight. He took one last look at the team captain who was holding a huge ass trophy and was wearing a medal around his neck while giving a side hug to his coach.

Then he stood up from his seat and left the arena in the middle of the celebration.

_Hey, if Park Chanyeol is my boyfriend, then heck I’d be the cutest and most supportive baby. I’d be the first one to hug him after a victory like this. He’d be sweaty but who the hell cares? I’d be the proudest boyfriend with all that cardboards and stuff._

_But I’m not, so I left the court first to go back to that Constitution assignment I ditched for his game. Shit, if I fail this one, it’s all his damn fault._

_Anyway, I’m just so happy for him. I hope he gets the best celebration tonight while I cram this thing. Do you think he’ll be at his Consti class tomorrow? He’ll probably get drunk tonight or even get laid (he better NOT). Sad_ :-( _I would want to see him close with his silver hair before I fail my quiz hehe._

_AH I dedicated a whole ass page for a guy who doesn’t know me AGAIN. Shit. Why am I not dating him?!?! I guess we can’t have everything good in this world. :(_

_I hate myself._

—

The constitution quiz wasn’t that bad, after all. For an Economics major, Baekhyun had done a pretty good job with 46/70. He had a whole hour of constipation because his classmates wouldn’t stop talking about their answers and most of them didn’t even match his. He already accepted how doomed he was but thankfully, the papers were checked within the day and he was finally allowed to breathe.

As usual, he stayed in front of the classroom even when most of the class already went to grab lunch. He sat on the floor, then took his earplugs out of his pocket along with his phone. Baekhyun took a subtle look around, especially at the Constitution room next to theirs. No one is there yet, making him pout a little.

He searched for a good song to cover next time, listing down two or three that he likes. Baekhyun also went through the new comments on his latest cover, smiling to himself every now and then before he felt his legs hurting from being on the floor for too long. He looked at the room nearby and there are students flocking outside for the next class, yet the one he’s looking for isn’t there.

He scrolled through his audiobooks for another ten minutes. When he looked around for the nth time, he figured out he’s been waiting too long. Baekhyun finally stood up from the floor while sighing in disappointment. _Maybe they really had a huge after party last night that he couldn’t attend class._ He thinks to himself, he won’t be seeing him today then.

His earplugs were still on his ears when he started walking away, thinking of what to eat for lunch that won’t consume his whole monthly allowance. Baekhyun has yet to figure out the food he’ll buy when he bumped hard against someone. The woman’s bag dropped from her shoulder, instinctively urging Baekhyun to apologize immediately.

“I’m sorry! I’m really sorry!” he said nonstop and picked her bag from the floor. Baekhyun looked at her, his lips parted in awe when he saw the cheerleading squad’s center Park Sooyoung was glaring at him.

“S-Sorry agai—” he’s not able to finish when she hastily grabbed her bag from his hand and proceeded to walk away. Baekhyun remained stiff on where he stood because of the brief encounter. He blinked rapidly before he saw Yeri walking towards him with her rounded eyes. Baekhyun almost rolled his own.

“Woah, you bumped into Sooyoung. She must’ve threatened to kill you, did she?” Baekhyun only looked at her before starting to walk away again. He sighed in frustration when Yeri followed right beside him, “She didn’t? Wow, that’s fortunate.”

He didn’t even understand a bit from what she’s implying.

“I saw you stunned. Don’t worry, she’s always like that. She’s just extra grumpy now so it’s understandable that you got a little scared—”

“Yes, I bumped into a pretty girl in school and she threw dagger eyes at me. Very big deal. Happy, Yeri?”

“Of course it’s a big deal!” the petite girl fixed her glasses before continuing, “She could’ve slapped you out of nowhere because that’s how pissed she was! I think she just came from the bathroom after crying. Well… understandable. If Park Chanyeol publicly rejected me again, I would feel the—”

“Wait— _wait_ , what?”

They both stopped in the middle of the hall. Yeri faced him with clear satisfaction on her face when she finally got Baekhyun’s interest.

Baekhyun blinked rapidly, “Park Chanyeol…”

“Broke up with the _it_ girl of Yonsei, publicly refused to get back with her again today. Wow, what a shock, right?” Yeri rolled her eyes, “I told you we have the best gossips here. You’ve chosen the best school to transfer to.” she gave him a tap on the arm.

Baekhyun is still surprised.

“Do you know why…?”

“Ugh, who cares? We’re just here for the public dramatic scenes.”

He found himself staring into space. He should be used to it, really. It’s only his second semester here in Yonsei but he have already heard a lot about Chanyeol and Sooyoung ever since he harbored a stupid crush on the basketball captain. He has been linked to different girls and guys but Sooyoung has been the most prominent name among them. Baekhyun recalled seeing her sweetly hugging him after they won a game months ago.

You may think the basketball captain being openly bisexual had given Baekhyun more hope, but it only became more impossible, considering there’s a lot more people to compete with.

But then again, he’s not that dumb to actually go against anyone just for a guy. It’s not like the dreamy man would ever spare him a glance. Baekhyun is even almost face-to-face with the floor every time he gets the nearest to Chanyeol, and that’s like… ten meters, the closest. He gets unintentionally embarrassing and he doesn’t plan on even looking straight into his eyes nor talk to him, or else he probably would combust into flames and just die. He won’t do that. He has dreams.

“Why are you always spacing out when I share the juiciest gossips?” Yeri stared at his lost expression, “You should consider yourself lucky, you know? You won’t hear it this detailed from anybody else.”

“Well actually, I don’t want to hear it.” Baekhyun flashed a small smile, slowing down once again. “Don’t you have classes?”

As usual, Yeri only gave him an innocent smile.

“I do. Just thought I could say hi to you back there because you looked lonely again.” she said and Baekhyun only chuckled while shaking his head, “I’m your only friend.”

“You’re not, but thanks, I guess.” Baekhyun said while making his way at the quad. Yeri smiled bigger while trying to catch up behind him.

“But I am. Look, I’m grateful for it, okay? If more people know and watch your covers then they would want to befriend you and you’d probably forget about me… so I’m seizing the moment you still wanna be low-profile.” she nudged his side playfully.

Baekhyun sighed in frustration, “Nonsense.”

“Speaking of that, I really loved that cover you posted last weekend!”

“Sshh!” he clicked his tongue in annoyance and nervously looked around. “Someone might hear you!”

“Oh whatever, _B_hundred_melody_!” she snorted tauntingly. Baekhyun glared at her as they get closer to the side benches of the quad, “Why are you even ashamed? You should be proud!”

“I’m not ashamed, okay? I just…” his gaze quickly passed by the nearby bench where people flock. “I don’t like attention.”

When he recognized one of the guys, his widening eyes traveled back to them in an instant. Baekhyun cussed under his breath.

“Let’s go the other way.” he held Yeri’s elbow and looked away immediately. His heart sank on the floor when he heard a voice, worse was when it called for his name.

“Hey!” he tried walking away straightly but he heard running footsteps behind them, “Hey! Baekhyun, right?”

Baekhyun took a hard gulp before turning around with a forced smile. A handsome, tanned man was walking towards where they were. He felt Yeri continuously tugging his shirt from behind.

“That’s Jongin, that’s Kim Jongin, oh my god—”

“ _I know_ , keep your voice down!” he hissed at her. Fortunately, she stopped mumbling when he got closer.

“Hey, sorry for bothering you.” he grinned boyishly at Baekhyun, who rather looked constipated. The shorter tried not to look at the bench where he came from, hearing the loud voices of the varsity team. “Jongin? From Business class?”

Even with his peripheral vision, he was able to spot the silver hair from the bunch. Baekhyun strived not to look.

“Y-Yeah… I know you.” Baekhyun laughed sheepishly to conceal his usual jitters, but like he expected, it sounded even more embarrassing.

“I borrowed your notes last week, right?” he bit his lip, “I promised to return it soon but until now I’m not yet finished, you know… practice and all…”

Baekhyun raised both his brows, nodding slowly. “Ah… don’t worry about it!”

“Really?” Jongin smiled at him, so he nodded again. “I’ll give it back this week, promise.”

“Sure…”

So it was that moment when Baekhyun unconsciously looked at the bunch of varsity players sitting on the largest quad table, catching a pair of eyes looking at him. He felt a harsh and instant pump of blood all over his body, almost as if his soul was thrown away from it. While the others were busy laughing over some story, Chanyeol watched them with his usual blank gaze, but it’s enough to get him deaf and malfunctioning. When the basketball captain caught his eyes, it seemed like he doesn’t mind being caught and actually stared at him. Baekhyun blinked rapidly and looked back at Jongin with his surely heated face.

“E-Even if y-you don’t give it back.” he realized how nonsensical his words were when the tanned man blinked in confusion, “I-I mean if y-you’re not finished y-yet. Take your t-time.”

“Thanks.” Jongin nodded once, pointing their way. “You’re going for lunch? Cafeteria’s closer this way.”

Baekhyun didn’t know if his spinning head was out of hunger or because he just can’t get over the eye contact and the feeling of still being watched at the moment. He mindlessly nodded and walked after Jongin as the latter went back to the table to join the other boys again. Baekhyun barely comprehended what Yeri was mumbling beside him but he kept his head down until he walked past their way, gulping repeatedly.

“Hey Baekhyun— _ouch_!” he immediately looked behind when Jongin called his name. He saw him frowning at someone behind while grasping his arm in pain. Baekhyun can’t tell what happened, but he’s surely relieved that even when some of them were looking at him, the man who just gave him the worst palpitation is now busy with his phone behind Jongin, looking like he doesn’t give a shit about anything again.

Baekhyun raised his brows and smiles, but Jongin shook his head, still bummed by his hurting arm.

“Nevermind.”

Baekhyun blinked slowly while nodding. He walked away with Yeri, making sure to buy himself a bottle of water as soon as they reach the cafeteria because god knows how dehydrated he was from what just happened.

—

“So…”

A little smile crept on his lips, staring into nothingness as his fingertips lightly brushed on the keyboard.

“This is another cover for this week. I just want to say that I’ve been reading all your comments and I appreciate them all.” he exhaled through his smile, “Here’s _Out of Reach_ by Gabrielle. I hope you have a good weekend.”

Baekhyun started with an adlib hum, gently clicking on the keys as he began with the song.

_“Knew the signs wasn't right_

_I was stupid for a while…_

_Swept away by you, and now I feel like a fool.”_

He smiled against the built-in microphone in front of him, eyes closed while he was getting deep into the song. Some of the lyrics were particularly relatable, giving him a bittersweet feeling while singing.

But then again, he chose his songs for a reason, right?

_“Was I ever loved by you?_

_Out of reach, so far… I never had your heart.”_

For almost two years, Baekhyun has been hiding under an alias that allows him to sing songs without gaining the attention he doesn’t want. When their small sugar mill in Bucheon got bankrupt after he graduated from high school, he had no one to help him cope with it because his parents were in a bigger mess. Their already cold relationship hits the rocks harder, as if they’re only keeping up with each other for their only son.

That’s probably why even when he’s used to being alone, he still needed an outlet for his emotions. He found some sense of comfort in singing songs that relate to him most of the time, recording himself then posting it online.

At first, he got shocked with the constantly rising amount of good feedback he got. He even thought about stopping once, afraid that if he gets more attention, then he would have to reveal himself one way or another. Fortunately, he changed his mind and just proceeded to be careful on keeping his identity a secret. It’s better for him that way. The lesser detail people know about you, the lesser the scrutiny. For Baekhyun, at least.

He doesn’t have that large amount of followers like what you’re imagining. Just enough for a low-profile singer wannabe. The thing he loves the most about this persona is the heartfelt words he gets from people that appreciate his talent. It’s not a secret that he doesn’t have a confidante since they moved to the city, so the feedback compensates for his loneliness… somehow.

Since the beginning, though… almost all the songs seem to be directed to one particular person.

He opened his eyes in the middle of the song, watching the continuous flow of comments in his livestream. Baekhyun smiled bigger when he caught a few familiar usernames rolling on his screen.

_“Out of reach, so far…you never gave your heart_

_In my reach, I can see_

_There's a life out there for me.”_

He doesn’t know how long he’s going to sing about these feelings he has for this one guy, but now, it’s one of the few possible ways to let them out of his chest.

The little smile lingered on his lips even until singing the last line. He spaced out for a while, pictured a certain pair of eyes in his mind. Baekhyun immediately shook it off and cleared his throat as he leaned closer to his phone screen, making sure he’s whole face was not seen from the camera connected to it.

“Did you like it?” he asked in a cute tone. He laughed lightly while watching the comments still flooding, mostly crying and bursting heart emojis. “Thank you again. I’ll try doing more live covers while I’m still not busy in university, though this is the last one for this week. I’m going to read some comments before I finish!”

****blue_kitty ∙ 21:23** **

_ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ_

****pjsungie** ** ****∙ 21:23** **

_YOU HAVE THE PERFECT PRONUNCIATION PERFECT VOICE PERFECT HANDS PERFECT LIPS AND I BET UR OVERALL PERFECT I DECIDED TO STAN FOREVER_

****whatsoodoing** ** ****∙ 21:23** **

_AAAAAAAHHH_ _ㅠㅠ_ _as usual it’s perfect!!!! Though sometimes I’m really curious who’s hurting u bcos of these songs gRRR I hope u just like them!!!! :-----(_

****yolimerence ∙ 21:24** **

_SHOW UR FACE PLEASE U LOOK CUTE AS HELL I CAN TELL JUST WITH UR LIPS_

Baekhyun chuckles softly, “I’d like to stay anonymous. And besides, you’ll just end up disappointed because I’m not as cute as you think I am.”

****yerieh ∙ 21:25** **

_I AGREE PETITION FOR @ B_HUNDRED_MELODY TO SHOW HIS BEAUTIFUL FACE_

He only laughs when he recognized Yeri’s username. She’s the only one who personally knows him so it’s silly seeing her fangirling on his videos.

****fluffeols ∙ 21:25** **

_Thank you for this B!!! I’ve been feeling down this week because my crush for two years rejected me. Your covers somehow give me comfort. ^^_

****toben ∙ 21:25** **

👍

Baekhyun slightly tilted his head to his side, his smile turned into an amused one when he saw another familiar username.

“Cheer up, _fluffeols_! I actually envy you for having the courage to confess. I could never do that to my crush.” he laughed sheepishly and the comment section flowed faster for some reason, “At least you tried! You’ll find someone for you soon enough, and no this is not turning into a love guru channel user _incheonde._ Jeez, calm down!”

He let out another laugh, then bit his lip while slowly scrolling back.

“You’re really hard to please, aren’t you user _toben_?” he said with a little pout, “Last time I already got the heart emoji and now I’m back to thumbs up? I’m hurt…”

He checked the clock on his wall and scrolled through a few more comments before clearing his throat.

“That’s it for tonight! I’ll see you again next week! You can leave some song suggestions, we’ll work on it!” he blinked when he saw another new comment.

****toben ∙ 21:28** **

♥

Baekhyun suppressed a smile, “Good night, everyone…”

He turned off the camera and fixed his table. There’s a sigh that escaped his lips when he remembered everything again, smiling bitterly to himself as soon as he realized he’s being stupid again.

And his stupid thoughts deserve to be expressed, so he reached out for his damn journal and slouched down his bed, face first.

_I know I tend to overreact most of the time, that’s just how I am. But I knew, in that very brief moment, he looked at me._

Half of his face was buried on his small pillow while he was writing small, neat words.

_I don’t understand why he would refuse to be with Sooyoung again, though. They look so perfect together. (yes, this is me not being bitter) It seems like she really likes him a lot._

_Sometimes I even get a little jealous, whenever I think about the fact that she gets to hear Chanyeol’s little thoughts from him directly._

_I’ve always been so curious about them. His thoughts. He looks the best when he’s in deep thought— brows slightly furrowed, lips pressed together. He looks like he always wants to say a lot but everyone around him doesn’t understand._

He stopped because of the last few words he wrote, rereading them again while a small smile formed on his lips when it seemed like he got the answer to his own question.

That’s probably why.

_Anyway, I’m just really worried about him. He looked like something was bothering him a while ago when I caught his gaze._

_Maybe he was also thinking about Sooyoung. They were on and off for quite some time, anyway. I know it’s hard for him, too._

His writing became a little slower. Baekhyun gently blinked while adding more words that seem to mindlessly escape his thoughts.

_I know… I kinda like him a lot, but I just wish Chanyeol the best. Whoever he dates, it’s fine, as long as he’s happy._

_I think… somehow, I’ll get some sense of satisfaction if I see him with someone that exactly does that. (yes, even if it’s not me T_T) HAHAHA god, I’m so hopeless, am I…_

Baekhyun stared at the whole entry he’s written for the day. His own thoughts that for some reason, were still owned by someone not him. He chuckled because of hopelessness. He’d always just realize he blabbered about someone else in his own journal when he already wrote down a hundred words.

He leaned down to write a few more words.

_He deserves to be happy._

And just like that, the story behind tonight’s song and for whom it was aren’t really difficult to figure out again.

—

“Jog! Jog! Jog!” everyone’s steps became faster, “Stop slouching! You still have eight minutes to go, JOG!”

 _Oh good lord,_ his tongue is already close to sticking out of his mouth. Baekhyun doesn’t even know what’s the point of this shit anyway. Actual Sports class instructors will just let them do ten jumping jacks and they’re already dismissed.

Now, this is their tenth minute of furiously jogging on their places, with this student instructor yelling every now and then as if it’s not enough. It’s like he’s just waiting for someone to pass out or eventually slip from their sweat on the floor and crack their heads.

Doing an intense exercise can be bearable, but being instructed by the basketball team themselves is a whole different thing. Having done nonstop practice for intercollegiate games made the team a little behind when it comes to requirements and credited units so the Sports department made them supervise most of the Sports classes, and unfortunately, Baekhyun’s class is one of them.

So here he is, panting and sweaty while his biggest crush in the world is standing at the side of the field. Even if the sky is quite gloomy, the nonstop jogging and jumping surely made his face flush into light shade of red. Baekhyun kept his gaze in front, even when he badly wanted to slouch on the floor and groan in exhaustion. He just wants this to be over.

“Jog! Come on!” Jongin yelled at them this time, obviously enjoying the authority they have. Despite how tired he was, Baekhyun did what was asked. The last thing he wants was to be noticed and scolded in this class. Looking a little stinky is enough already.

“Hey, Byun!”

His jogging pace instantly slowed down upon hearing his surname called. Baekhyun looked in front and saw Jongin calling him from the bleachers, with a few of his teammates and their captain beside him.

“Yes…?” he panted, brows furrowed.

“You’re done. Stay at the bleachers.” Jongin said with a shrug like it wasn’t really his idea. Baekhyun glanced at Chanyeol but immediately looked away when he saw him watching. The said student had no choice but to sit on the bleachers even if he’s still confused why he’s done.

After him, some of his other classmates were also called. When they’re all done with more stretching, the whole class were instructed to go back to their respective lines, except…

“Byun!” Jongin pointed at him coolly. Baekhyun’s brows creased in confusion again, but Jongin mindlessly pointed on his two girl classmates, “You, and you, come over here.”

Most of the class looked at the three people walking in front, gazes lingering on Baekhyun the most being the only guy. The latter had to keep his head down because of the attention from his classmates and the jocks sitting on the bleacher side.

“Okay! Everyone will do their two lapses around the field!”

“What!” most of them mumbled in complaint. Baekhyun looked even more torn, totally confused as to why he’s being exempted.

“Come on! We still have thirty minutes before we can dismiss you to go home! We’ll do it per line and we’ll be taking note of the time!”

“What about them? Aren’t they going to run with us?” one of his classmates pointed out while looking at the three of them. Baekhyun looked at the basketball players in charge. They’re casually sitting on the bleachers like nothing bizarre is happening. Chanyeol is blankly staring at the complaining students.

“These three will be timing and recording the lapses.” Jongin shrugged nonchalantly, “Medical reasons. They approached us before the class about their conditions.”

Baekhyun looked completely weirded out. He’s… fine? He even did that stupid jog on place!

Some of his classmates seemed to realize this too, based on the confused look on their faces. But because of the encouraging yells from the varsity team, the field lapses proceeded with the three of them simply standing on the side. The two girls timed the runners, while he writes down to record.

Baekhyun glanced at the team of jocks on the bleachers, realizing that they must have pulled them out to simply pass them their responsibilities. It’s not surprising anymore. He watched Chanyeol laughing with the others, then in the midst of it, he looked at Baekhyun that caused the latter to awkwardly look up to the sky in an instant. That’s where the shorter noticed the darkening clouds.

“Okay, chop chop! We need to keep running!” Yixing yelled even more.

“But it’s about to rain! We’re hearing thunderstorms already!” one of the class paused her lapse to point it out.

“If you don’t finish your lapses then we’ll really end up wet here.” Jongin said, as if they’re not really taking it seriously. Baekhyun looked up again. It’s definitely going to rain soon. And the field is quite far from the locker room where their things are. If it starts pouring while they’re still here, then they’re all—

“Oh my god!”

Baekhyun wasn’t even done figuring the scenario out and it’s already happening. The raindrops are big and heavy, their whole class and the varsity team run back to the nearest building. But as expected, they all end up soaking.

“Ah, shit.” Baekhyun cussed under his breath as soon as they all crowded under the nearby building entrance. The sight of the field is almost blurry because of the heavy rain. He’s too busy wiping his face and worrying about the wet record sheet on his hands that he doesn’t immediately notice the basketball captain standing right beside him, combing his own soaked hair with his fingers. When he does, he stiffens on his place.

Baekhyun slowed down, foolishly watching him even when his own bangs won’t stop dripping water on his face. Their arms were lightly brushing against each other and the people around were still in commotion. But Baekhyun became a little dysfunctional.

The basketball captain saw him watching. Instead of being totally freaked out like anyone, and even Baekhyun would expect, he simply returned the stare while his brows slightly raised in intrigue. Baekhyun blinked continuously and showed him the wet record sheet to save his dignity.

“I-It’s soaked…” he mumbled, trembling from either the rain or their close distance. “Sorry…”

Chanyeol’s lips protruded while glancing down at his fidgeting hand.

“It’s okay. They didn’t finish the lapses anyway.” his deep voice was much more emphasized by the noise around.

Chanyeol’s gaze lingered on Baekhyun as he was getting the memo board from him. Then he looked around for a teammate.

“Xing!” Chanyeol yelled at the guy who’s in the other side of the crowd. Yixing got the sheet from him and followed everyone who are already going to the locker rooms. Baekhyun is already hugging himself, earning another look from the captain.

“You should go and change now.” he gently said, observing the shorter even when most people have already walked past them to the lockers. “You might get sick.”

Baekhyun swallowed hard and nodded in response. He walked to the locker room with breath still hitching. The shower rooms were still packed so he sat there with his dry clothes on his lap, spacing out.

That was their first conversation ever. Baekhyun unconsciously smiled a little. How can such a few words make him like this?

While thinking about that for quite a while, he let the other finish first so that the shower room would be less crowded before taking a bath. Baekhyun left his gym bag among the others and only brought his towel and new clothes with him inside.

He got out of the shower, clothed with dry clothes and wiping his damped hair. He looked around and there’s only a few classmates left near the lockers. Baekhyun looked at his watch and mindlessly grabbed the only gym bag in front of his locker, walking out before the rain could fall heavily again.

When he got out of the university gates, it’s still lightly raining. Baekhyun instinctively reached for his umbrella from his gym bag, frowning when his hand would touch it.

He unzipped it and tried to look inside, and there his eyes widened in horror upon seeing unfamiliar contents.

“Oh my god…” he mumbled and ran back inside the campus. _It’s not his damn bag._ Who even is the genius who thought it’s a good idea that the students’ gym bags should be identical? He’s not as rich as the students in this school but he still can afford a damn bag for Sports class! This is stupid and he’s a bigger idiot.

_All his fucking things are there, including his journal._

Breathlessly, Baekhyun reached the locker room. He exhaled heavily upon seeing the already empty room. He looked around in every corner, but there’s nothing left there.

Baekhyun tried to gather his incoherent thoughts and runs to the lost and found office, even if it’s located in another building. He prayed hard that the one who had his bag isn’t a thief or a nosy person. If someone goes through his things, he’s doomed.

On his way there, he saw two of his classmates.

“Hey, Baekhyun!” one of them called him and Baekhyun was starting to tear up in relief. They might have his bag, “I knew we exchanged bags!”

“Taemin, i-is this yours?” he asked him breathlessly as soon as he stopped in front of them. The said man nodded with a boyish grin as if it’s nothing serious. Well it is, for Baekhyun. “I-I’m really sorry! D-Do you have my b-bag?” he stuttered because of shortened breaths.

“I dropped by lost and found because I thought you already gave it back there. I know you wouldn’t actually steal my bag intentionally!” Taemin told him casually when he gave the bag, but Baekhyun was still waiting expectantly. “I handed yours to the ba—”

“Oh my god, thank you!” Baekhyun didn’t even hear him out completely and ran to the building across the field. He needs to get his bag from the lost and found office before it closes, at least. Or else he’ll go home penniless and probably stuck in paranoia because of the journal that’s in there.

Baekhyun pushed the door and instantly saw the gym bag on the staff’s table as if they’re just about to check it.

“Excuse me!” he yelled unintentionally, earning him weird looks from the security left because of the eagerness in his voice. Baekhyun continuously heaved, “U-Uh, that’s mine… t-the bag…”

“You’re Byun Baekhyun?”

He blinked in awe. _They haven’t gone through it, have they?_

“Yes…”

“Here. It was returned just now.” the staff shrugged. Baekhyun smiled in so much relief and gets the bag from the counter, instantly checking for his things inside. Although the relief is short-lived because everything is there, except one thing.

“Where’s my journal…” he huffed under his breath, heart beating frantically when he doesn’t see it in any corner. His other academic notebooks are there and his journal is usually with them so it won’t look distinctive but right now, it’s the only one gone. “Excuse me… d-did you open this bag? M-My notebook’s not here…”

The question came out as offensive to the staff who snorted at him.

“What do you think we’ll do with a notebook, boy?” he frowned at him, “We didn’t even unzip to check it because you came as soon as your classmate returned it. Why don’t you ask him? Hey, Junmin! You know that boy?”

The security staff at the door shrugged nonchalantly, “Of course.”

Baekhyun barely listened to any of them. He felt like he’s about to have another panic attack just by thinking about his journal being read by someone else. He wrote everything there. Everything he feels and thinks. His free thoughts. It shouldn’t be for anyone else to see but him.

Without a proper train of thought, Baekhyun ran back to the building where he talked to Taemin a while ago. Why would the man take his journal? He could’ve stolen his phone or wallet, why the notebook? His throat formed a lump because of the anxiety slowly rousing in him. The said building has most of its lights turned off so there’s certainly no one left there anymore but the security patrolling.

He walked back to the university gates, slowly losing hope to find Taemin there. But he saw the said guy near the university entrance, still talking to his friends. Baekhyun rushed to where he is, hope rousing in him.

“Taemin!” the man jumped on his feet because of the urgency from his tone. He looked at Baekhyun casually as if he didn’t do anything wrong.

“Oh, hey Baekhyun. You got your bag—”

“Where’s my notebook?” Taemin, and even his friends, looked at Baekhyun because of the demand in his tone.

“What?”

“One of my notebooks isn’t here in my bag. Please give it back.” Baekhyun pleaded. He doesn’t want to argue with anyone, but he desperately needs his journal back.

Taemin chuckled in awe, “Why would I take your notebook, man?” he asked in amusement and glanced at his friends, “I didn’t even try opening that.” he looked at Baekhyun’s gym bag.

Baekhyun shut his eyes in frustration, “Please… that journal is important to me.”

“Hey, I’m not a thief, okay?” Taemin grinned a little but he looked a little infuriated now, “You’re the one who mistakenly grabbed my bag while your things were all over the place. I was nice enough to surrender it to the class instructors today so they co—”

“Wait… what? Class instructors?” Baekhyun blinked, “W-Which…”

“The varsity team, obviously, because they were our instructors today. I figured they could do something about it in case you already went home with my bag so they volunteered to bring yours to the lost and found.” Taemin chuckled in disbelief, “Good thing I did that cause something like this actually happened. Now go ask them, Baekhyun. I have nothing to do with your lost journal.”

Baekhyun spaced out, unable to retaliate anything even when Taemin already walked away with his friends. He can feel his hands getting cold, but it’s not in any way related to the breeze of air. The thought of his journal’s current whereabouts swirls around his head.

This is a nightmare.

—

Baekhyun wasn’t able to sleep that night.

All the productive tasks he was about to do just went down the drain because he was basically dysfunctional for the rest of the day. So when the next day comes, he’s already on his second large iced Americano at nine in the morning, forcing himself to attend his classes even when his head is occupied with thoughts of his lost belonging.

In between his thirty-minute break before Business class, Baekhyun decided to try his luck and gather his courage to talk to the varsity players that handled their class yesterday. The team is back to rehearsing now for the upcoming game against SNU, so he wasn’t wrong about finding some of them warming up in court.

It’s even a bigger relief that the captain isn’t there. Baekhyun has his problems piling up for today and one of them is looking like a walking zombie.

He thought about it— Chanyeol had gone home before any of his teammates yesterday because Baekhyun didn’t see him on his way out after the Sports class. It’s safe to say he didn’t have any idea about the swapped bags thing. The only dilemma is if the rest of his teammates who were instructors yesterday stole Baekhyun’s journal and plan to tell him about all the embarrassing shit in there. Baekhyun’s face starts flushing even with the thought alone, but he already made up his mind— if he needs to beg and pay every single one of them to give him his journal back and stay silent, then he’s doomed… but he’ll do it.

So here he goes.

“Hey… uh, Yixing?” he approached the man in his jersey. The Chinese guy faced him while drinking from his tumbler, brows creasing in confusion. He looked like he doesn’t know why Baekhyun’s approaching him in the middle of practice break… or even who Baekhyun is.

Baekhyun sighed. _Understandable._

“I don’t know… if you remember me, but I was from the class you guys supervised yesterday?”

Yixing paused in between drinking, “Ah… the time recorder.” Baekhyun blinked because of the nickname, “I remember.”

“Yes… so it’s about the bags that got swapped after class yesterday… the one Taemin surrendered to you?” Baekhyun pursed his lips in anxiety, waiting for the jock to start mocking him. But if anything, Yixing remained looking oblivious.

“Ah… that was yours?” he asked, genuinely curious. “I think they already brought that to lost and found. Go check.” he said before nonchalantly stretching again.

Baekhyun blinked rapidly.

That’s… that’s it?

“W-Wait… sorry, who brought it back?” he asked and Yixing looked a little pissed that his warm up stretching got interrupted for this but Baekhyun has to know.

Because he looked completely clueless. Then is everyone else clueless about it, too? Who has his journal?

“Ah, I don’t really know. It was kinda passed on to everyone.” he sighed when Baekhyun remained still for an answer, “Hey Sehun! Who brought back that gym bag to lost and found yesterday?!” Yixing yelled at the player dribbling on court.

“Not me!” Sehun yelled back without even looking at anything but the ball he’s shooting, “Johnny, I think!”

“Not me.” the other tall guy sitting on the bleachers shrugged casually before pointing to the court entrance, “Hey, Jongin. Someone’s looking for that bag last night.”

Jongin slowed down upon seeing Baekhyun. His face relaxed a little, walking to the bleachers near Yixing and Baekhyun before shrugging.

“Wasn’t it surrendered to lost and found last night?” he asked while tying his shoelace. Baekhyun eagerly walked closer to him.

“Yes… b-but something from my bag was stolen. I need it back.” he said desperately that has Jongin finally looking at him, “Were you the one who surrendered it?”

Jongin’s lips protruded, but he maintained a straight face.

“No… I didn’t.” he told Baekhyun blankly, blinking a few times. “Maybe one of our other teammates did. Most of them aren’t here yet.”

Baekhyun stared at him for a while, feeling something else from the way Jongin is trying to look so passive.

“I need that thing back… can you help me?” Baekhyun mumbled pleadingly. He’s not up for any games anymore. He simply wants his journal back and live his life peacefully again.

Jongin looked at him before shrugging once.

“I’ll ask them once we’re complete, then I’ll get back to you.” he said but Baekhyun didn’t look relieved, “As soon as possible, promise. Now I don’t think you’re ditching Business class like me, so you should go back.”

Baekhyun exhaled another deep breath before turning away to leave, shoulders drooped down in defeat. He felt like crying again.

“Hey, Baekhyun! I’m not yet finished with your notes, so I’ll give them back next time, yeah?” Jongin asked him from the court, grin faltering when he saw Baekhyun’s unamused face. “Sorry… I only have your Business class notes, I swear…” he said as a disclaimer, even raising both his hands as if surrendering. Baekhyun only looked at him miserably before walking out of the court. Jongin’s lips curved into a grin.

Feeling like the world is on his shoulders, Baekhyun puffed out another sigh on his way to Business class. He thought about getting another coffee, but is too weak to do even that. This problem over his journal has been sucking the life out of him and he doesn’t know until when it’ll go on.

Two rooms away from his next classroom, he could already hear the murmuring despite staring on the floor. Baekhyun only looked up when the buzz seems a little unusual for him because there’s not that much fuss to make about this boring subject for his classmates to talk like this. True enough— there’s nothing bizarre around the classroom, aside from the fact that one person is leaning on the wall right outside, gaining attention from the students going inside.

_Well, I mean it’s not like his tall, good figure or his platinum hair are hard to recognize—_

Baekhyun stopped. He froze terribly.

This is definitely the effect of consuming two cups of coffee. Or maybe of thinking about his lost journal for the past few hours. Yes, that's it. He's just hallucinating.

Park Chanyeol isn't possibly— not _actually_ standing in front of his classroom door...

With a familiar notebook in his hand. Painfully familiar.

Chanyeol spotted him too, and the way the side of his lips curled up caused the shorter’s stomach to churn harshly.

Baekhyun can feel his breath hitching while still watching the smirk situating itself on the basketball captain’s lips. The thoughts scrambled inside his head, looking at the notebook with a design known to his heart. Even if the sight is clear— he thought of other possible ways to escape, and probably to avoid a bigger humiliation if he stares longer at his long-time crush.

 _That’s not your journal, Baekhyun._ The petite boy looked down to the floor and stepped faster, aiming to pass by Chanyeol and enter the classroom without hyperventilating. _He’s here for Jongin. That’s right. Get your fucking shit toget—_

“Baekhyun.”

He stopped when he heard his own name firmly escaping the taller guy’s lips. Baekhyun had to exhale a deep, silent breath before slowly looking at Chanyeol who’s now tilting his head sideway to watch him. Now Baekhyun can see the exact bookmark he uses in between the notebook, confirming his biggest fear. He blinked rapidly while trying not to cry.

This is so fucking embarrassing. He wants to die.

“Byun Baekhyun, right?” Chanyeol repeated, intimidating Baekhyun more with his perfect deep voice. With a brow slightly raised, he looked really amused by something. Baekhyun’s not sure if it’s a relief that he knows exactly what it is.

“Y-Yes.” he tried to keep a straight face but ended up gulping, “Can I-I help you?”

Even if he prayed to all the saints he knows, it’s clearly no use because he’s certain that the man had already scanned through his journal entries and read his embarrassing notes. Baekhyun isn’t stupid _(well, maybe he is, considering he carelessly lost his damn journal for it to end up with the last person he wants it to)._ But the amused grin says it all. Now the best possible way to happen is for the basketball captain to just throw him the notebook back and laugh at his face like what he probably does to all the other people obsessed with him. Yes, that’s it. Baekhyun’s sure he’s not the first one, so surely he’s used to it.

And then Baekhyun will apologize for being such a creep.

And then he’ll nod if Park Chanyeol tells him to fuck off.

And then he’ll transfer to another university he can find, or maybe just die today.

Fuck.

“So…” Chanyeol looked at the notebook in his hand, trying to conceal a grin before looking at him again. “Is this yours?”

Baekhyun dumbly stared at the notebook, fighting the urge to snatch it and run away in embarrassment. But he closed his parted lips and swallowed.

“No...” he slowly shook his head while blinking continuously, almost breathless.

This only seemed to finally make Chanyeol smirk bigger.

“Really, now?”

Fuck again.

Chanyeol has his journal.

Of all people, Park fucking Chanyeol just had to be the one to steal his journal.

"So you're not the same Economics major Baekhyun who lent his notes to Jongin a few weeks ago?" he cooed while looking at every corner of the journal he's holding, "Not the same Byun Baekhyun who transferred here last year?"

 _Shit. He really read it._ Baekhyun looked around and some of his classmates were already watching them in intrigue because they're right in front of the door. Chanyeol didn't seem to mind it and tauntingly waited for his response.

The shorter nervously looked at the end of the hall where the restroom is, his thoughts becoming more incoherent that he barely knew what he's saying anymore.

"I-I..." he blinked, "need to pee...? Excuse m-me."

Baekhyun quickly stepped away to avoid more attention. He cringed with the way he stuttered and sounded so dumb back there. He huffed under his breath, hoping he could reach the restroom before completely combusting.

"Where are you going?" his knees wobbled when the basketball captain effortlessly reached his pace to block his way. Now there's no one passing by but it isn't less embarrassing. The taller's face is now trying to appear serious.

"Come on. I went here, hoping you could help me find the owner of this journal..." but the seriousness once again broke into a lopsided grin, "who seems to be my biggest fan, based on the lovely words said about me. I just want to express gratitude."

"I can't help you. I don't know." Baekhyun ended up looking at him sharply because of both frustration and humiliation. Though his eyes widened when Chanyeol began browsing a page randomly.

"So you're not really the Baekhyun who calls Park Chanyeol the love of his life, best varsity pla—"

"Shut up!" he yelped, quickly reaching out to try and snatch the journal away but the tall man's height came handy as he lifted it away from his reach.

"—player in court. If you could be his boyfriend, you'd do better on hyping him up than the whole cheerleading squad." Baekhyun flushed in deep shade of red while Chanyeol continuously read every line with a really amused smile, "Really, huh?"

Baekhyun is close to tearing up in embarrassment. He wants the earth to swallow him whole and puke him back on the other side of the world where no one knows him. _How could he write those things and carelessly lose his journal? How did it end up in Park Chanyeol’s hands?_

_Jesus. Please… just let me die._

Chanyeol seemed to take advantage of the silence and continued to skim through the content of his journal. Baekhyun was still frozen on his spot but he can see the occasional smiles situating on the taller’s lips, glancing at him every now and then with so much amusement whenever he catches his name in the entries with a distinct color pen used. There’s too many of them.

“I see a lot of song titles here always close to my name.” he grinned, “You sing? Where can I hear some dedication songs?”

“I-I don’t…”

The basketball captain dismissed his denial, “Do you have a whole album about me?”

The shorter blinked rapidly because of nervousness. He tried to remember if he wrote any detail in the said notebook about his secret singer account. But instead of actually recalling, he came up with another lame excuse to utter.

“That… notebook of mine was stolen a long time ago…” he tried to sound casual as if he isn’t perspiring, “I-It was probably… the thief w-who wrote those embar—I mean… words about you. Sorry for the misunderstanding…”

Chanyeol’s face relaxed, but there’s still a hint of a little grin on his lips. He closed the journal and raised a brow.

“Really… i-it’s not me…” Baekhyun mumbled again when the taller’s eyes remained on him, looking far from convinced.

He became even stiffer when the basketball captain took a step towards him.

“Really?” his eyes narrowed, “Do you know what I’ll do if I find out you’re lying, Byun Baekhyun?”

 _He’ll beat you up._ Baekhyun’s inner thoughts aren’t even helping him, _the whole basketball team will corner you on your way home._

Breath still hitching, Baekhyun gulped repeatedly. He proved himself that the safest distance to Park Chanyeol should be at least five meters away. Anywhere closer than that is fatal, for him and his heart.

Just like now.

Chanyeol didn't give him mercy by staring right into his flushed face. Baekhyun kept his eyes on the floor before finally exhaling a deep ragged breath.

“I-I’m sorry…” he stuttered again, finally defeated. “I wrote it. I’m sorry if y-you had to find and read it… I didn’t mean to m-make you uncomfortable.”

With his gaze still settled on the floor, he failed to notice how the taller’s taunting expression turned serious. He looked at Baekhyun’s afraid face and something in him got tugged.

“It’s true… I l-like you. But I never intended to let you find out through this… or through anything, ever. It was j-just a small crush… I’ll get over it soon…” and there, he lied a little. Because he’s been trying to do it for so long but it just doesn’t seem to work, “Please don’t tell anyone… I w-won’t let our paths cross here again, p-promise.”

Baekhyun glanced up to see his reaction. Upon seeing that Chanyeol was still watching him silently, he looked down again.

“Alright.”

The deep voice finally spoke firmly. Baekhyun sighed in relief, waiting for the man to shove his journal back to him, or just give it back. By then, he can finally say that his problems are somewhat reduced. Avoiding him forever would be his only goal.

Chanyeol stepped away from him, with the notebook still in his hand. Baekhyun looked at him expectantly, his heart beating hard against his chest as he figured out what the former is up to this time.

“C-Can I have it back?” he asked when Chanyeol took another step back, “The notebook…”

“I’ll give it back…” he said humorously when Baekhyun’s eyes rounded in horror as he got farther, “One of these days… I will.”

Baekhyun blinked rapidly.

“I just admitted it’s mine.” he said in disbelief but the captain only flashes a little smile. “Give it back.”

“I will. With your notes.” Chanyeol shrugged innocently, his steps becoming slower and taunting. “Jongin doesn’t have a plan on giving them back anyway, I can try making amends with him.”

“I don’t give a damn about those notes, give my journal back, please.” Baekhyun started heaving desperately. He took quick steps with his short legs towards Chanyeol but the latter isn’t even fazed, lifting his long arm up when Baekhyun tried grabbing it again. 

“Give me my journal!” Baekhyun stomped a foot when he failed multiple times. He earned a smirk from the taller, “T-This is invasion of privacy! Give it back!”

Chanyeol humorously chuckled, “You’ll sue me?”

“Damn right, I will!”

“I’ll sue you, too.” Chanyeol simply responded, “Stalking.”

“W-Wha— I never stalked you!”

“I saw my perfume brand somewhere here.” he casually flipped the pages in front of Baekhyun again, “How d’you know it?”

“Everyone knows it.” Baekhyun hissed and Chanyeol flashed a flattered smile, “I want my journal back, please.”

“I’ll give it back this week.” Baekhyun’s shoulders drooped down when he realized Chanyeol isn’t joking, “For now, go back to your class.”

The basketball captain finally turned and walked away from him, a victorious smile trailing on his lips.

“Chanyeol, please!” Baekhyun can’t help calling him this time, too defeated to run after him again. The taller simply waved a hand and didn’t look back.

“You’re late for Business class, Byun.”

—

It was Thursday of the same week when Baekhyun surprisingly got approached by Kim Jongin again before Business class started. He looked around to make sure he’s the right person Jongin is planning to talk to, but upon seeing glances from some of his other classmates around, he gulped and looked up at his face.

He’s still not used to talking to these people and he doesn’t think he can ever get used to it. Baekhyun still hasn’t recovered from that encounter with their captain. It makes it even more nerve-racking.

Jongin broke into a smile then handed him his notes that had been with him for weeks now.

“Sorry it got too delayed.” he told Baekhyun, and the latter briefly recalled Chanyeol saying he didn’t have plans on giving it back anymore. “You can check if the pages are intact.”

Baekhyun blinked in confusion, looking at his obviously fine notebook.

“Why… would I do that?” did he actually try tearing the pages?

Jongin grinned meaningfully, “I can be a little careless sometimes. You better check.” he casually responded to the bewildered boy and then went back to his seat at the back.

Baekhyun skimmed through his notes, doing the said suggestion. He’s almost sure everything’s intact when a small green post-it caught his attention in the middle part.

_‘Get your journal after Business class today. I’ll be in the court.’ – PCY_

He found himself staring at it like a fool for more than a minute, his heartbeat almost reaching his eardrums. Even when the professor came in, Baekhyun kept his notes opened on the same page, glancing at it as he anxiously fiddled his fingers. He was actually considering not going anymore because he’s more than sure that Chanyeol had already gone through all of it.

Once again, Baekhyun almost cried in embarrassment in the middle of class just by thinking about it.

But anyway, past four o’clock and Baekhyun is already standing beside the empty bleachers on the side of the court. The sound of friction of shoes on the floor reverberates within the place. He gripped the sling of his bag while fidgeting, especially when he finally saw Chanyeol running back to the side of the ring close to where he is, causing him to finally notice the shorter’s presence. The small crease on his forehead because of the serious practice relaxed upon seeing the stiff boy.

“Baekhy—”

“Oh my god!” he jumped in shock when a voice from behind startled him. He clutched his chest and turned around to see Jongin, who’s now in his practice clothes, grinning in amusement because of his reaction. “S-Sorry… you s-scared me.”

“You’re too jumpy. Relax, okay?” he chuckled but Baekhyun was still panting. Who can blame him for being too nervous? He’s the only _one_ in this court with Yonsei’s varsity team and the cheer squad practicing on the other corner. _He shouldn’t even be here!_

“Sit on the bleachers. If you keep on standing there, you’ll get hit on the face, promise...” he blinked when Baekhyun looked even more horrified, “…by the ball, I mean.”

 _Oh god._ Baekhyun already has a clear scenario of the whole basketball team ganging up on him because of his stupid journal.

“Baekhyun, seriously.”

 _“Jongin!”_ a deep voice from the court called the man in front of him. Baekhyun unconsciously looked at where he is and saw the sweaty basketball captain tilting his head while frowning at Jongin. His gaze briefly fell on Baekhyun before running to the other ring again.

“Again, on the bleachers, please?” Jongin called for his snatched attention. “It’s safer to wait there.”

“C-Can I just get it now? My… notebook?”

Jongin lightly scratched his nape, “Cap will give it.” he shrugged and started walking away when some players shouted his name again, “He has it, remember?”

Baekhyun had no choice but to wait on the said bleachers, putting his bag on the empty space beside him. He chose the corner where his presence won’t be a distraction even though that’s merely a possibility. He doesn’t even know if someone else is actually aware that he’s been there aside from Jongin and… well, the captain.

The petite boy looked up at the empty second floor where he usually sits whenever he watches their games. It’s a whole different experience sitting closer to the court. He can see Chanyeol’s biceps here better, or the way his hand combs his hair back from sticking onto his forehead. His skin is glistening with thin sheet of sweat and his—

_He should fucking stop._

Baekhyun subtly looked down when he caught Chanyeol’s eyes, ashamed of what he was just thinking while watching the man so bluntly. _You never fucking learn._ He told himself. His journal containing the same thoughts are currently in the possession of that same man and he also promised he will never make him uncomfortable again. _God, Baekhyun you are hopeless._

He never did it again, thankfully. Baekhyun waited there while pretending to be on his phone when in reality, he was earnestly wishing it’ll be over soon and that they didn’t actually plan something against him. He wants to go home and upload a new cover after missing for more than a week. And to be honest, the voices of the cheerleaders are starting to irritate him as well.

Ironically, when their coach whistled for a timeout, Baekhyun began stiffening on his seat again. The team players go to their lockers for a break but before Baekhyun could even allow himself to think of words that won’t get him humiliated again, Chanyeol is already walking towards him with his gym bag. He’s still panting from the intense practice and still has a hint of seriousness on his face.

Baekhyun tried to casually look somewhere else but being the awkward person he is, it came off weirder. It looked like he’s intentionally avoiding Chanyeol’s direction and it’s hard because the latter is taking his time on walking towards him. Can you imagine how frustrated Baekhyun is? Poor guy only wants one notebook back and master a plan of avoiding him forever after that.

“Hey.” Park Chanyeol stood on the lower bleacher in front of his seat. Baekhyun started malfunctioning again. The man still smells so good despite sweating. _Who the hell does that?_ Baekhyun is crying inside.

He gulped hard.

“Notebook…” was all he ended up saying anyway. He heard Chanyeol’s amused chuckle, finally urging the boy to look at him properly. Baekhyun dumbly watched the man who casually dropped his bag on the seat in front, got his water bottle and gulped it down right in front of him. Good lord, it is so sinful, so _so_ hard to watch.

Baekhyun is just so gay for him, but he wants his journal back.

“I need to go home… so I need it now…” Baekhyun mumbled, eyes settling on his Adam’s apple as he drinks.

He swiftly dropped his gaze once the basketball captain finished drinking, licking his lips nonchalantly like he wasn’t just torturing someone else’s brain.

“Some people would be thrilled to watch the practice, you know?” Chanyeol started off without addressing what he was just asking for, “it’s a lot intimate than an actual game. Most of them would die to have access.”

Baekhyun only blinked at him.

So Chanyeol raised a brow, “You seemed more interested on your phone. You barely even watched.”

The shorter didn’t know it mattered so he quickly prepares an alibi, “I was… uh, writing an essay due tomorrow. Sorry if it was rude.”

The player stared at him before shrugging, “Do you like the seats here?”

Baekhyun doesn’t know why this is even prolonged. This is fatal to him. After reading his journal, this man should already know that.

“U-Uhm… it’s okay. I do like it…”

The side of Chanyeol’s lips curved, “More than the upper box?”

His eyes screamed so much amusement when Baekhyun’s face softened even more while flushing into a light shade of red. _He should’ve known he’d be making some references from his entries now._

“Why didn’t you ever watch on a closer bleacher like here? It must’ve sucked being so far away.” Chanyeol asked while still keeping the same grin.

Baekhyun gritted his teeth while still blinking continuously.

“I-I’m farsighted…” _how fucking lame is he._

“The seats here are still a little far from the court though, yet it’s a good view.” the captain made a meaningful pause, “But in the upper box… you can barely see m—I mean, everything… there.”

Baekhyun’s pretty sure even his nose is beet red. He tends to blush on his whole face even with just sharing a harmless eye contact with Chanyeol before. Now you can say he’s close to passing out.

“I-I’m…” his mind went blank, “very f-farsighted…”

Chanyeol lightly laughed. And that’s where he realized— all these alibis are no use because he’d written everything in that damn journal and the captain was simply making fun of him. His gaze lingered on Baekhyun’s face.

“J-Just give me my journal, please.”

Still looking so amused over something, Chanyeol opened his bag and pulled out the familiar notebook from it. Baekhyun stood up, still a little fidgety yet also too eager to get out of here. The basketball captain handed it to him, watching his face relaxing in relief.

He hardly swallowed once more, “I’m so sorry again… for this. I’ll try my best to avoid you in the campus… I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

Chanyeol simply shrugged while holding on both the chairs behind him.

“We can see about that…”

“I know the words in my journal… were really embarrassing.” he breathed deeply in between, “You c-can just think of this as one of the hundred… other confessions you rejected before. I’m so sorry…”

He glanced up but Chanyeol was simply watching him blankly.

“If it’s not too much to ask… please don’t say anything to anyone?” he gulped again, “This is a really personal thing for me… I don’t want any attention… especially about this one. It’s really personal…”

He gathered the courage to look at him straight, almost pleadingly.

“Please?”

Chanyeol pursed his lips before nodding once.

“I’m not the type to snitch.” he said and stood up properly, “You have my word, Byun.”

Baekhyun sighed in relief, a soft smile situating on his lips. He timidly looked at Chanyeol before starting to step away.

“So will I see you on Saturday, then?”

He stopped and looked back because of the question. Chanyeol is still on the same place, lazily sitting on one of the chairs this time while looking at him expectantly.

“Saturday…?”

“Game 2, against Seoul National?”

Now the boy is confused again, based on his rapid blinking. He just said he’ll be avoiding him for the rest of his days, didn’t he?

Ah, he knows this. It’s just some farewell small talk. That’s it.

“Uh… I’ll see.” he answered awkwardly, not expecting a small frown to form on the captain’s face.

“You’ll see?”

Baekhyun parted his lips even when he’s still in the midst of coming up with a reason. And like the usual, he used a lame one.

“I-If… I can get a ticket…?” he stuttered. It’s the first realistic reason that comes to his mind, “It’s harder these days… uh, especially SNU is also supportive… ticketing is hard.”

Chanyeol’s little frown alleviated, and his usual confident smile came back again.

“Then I’ll see you, Byun.” he said like the alibi he heard was never a problem to begin with. Baekhyun forced a sheepish smile before quickly walking away again.

He hugged his journal close to him on his way out, walking past the cheer squad’s corner where Sooyoung was watching him intently. Baekhyun avoided her intense stare and walked straight out of the door.

Baekhyun was breathing easier once he got out of Yonsei’s main court. He can finally smile in so much relief after getting his journal back and finally confessing to his long-time crush along the way. It’s sad that he has to avoid him now and maybe start actually getting over him, too. But it still felt a lot better getting it out of his chest, especially when he never thought the day would ever come that Park Chanyeol would ever find out.

Time to go back being incognito.

“Op!” he yelped when something fell off from his journal. He bent down to pick it up, eyes widening upon seeing a ticket to the basketball game on Saturday, “Are you fucking kidding me…” and along with it, is the same green post-it again.

 _‘My 3-pt shots are 1000x better from the lower box. :-)’ –_ it read.

—

Was Park Chanyeol ever known to make fun of his admirers?

Baekhyun has only been in Yonsei for almost three semesters. Since he harbored this crush on the basketball captain, he could only observe him from afar, with the subtlest ways he could. Chanyeol is used to the attention of the people around and he has the coolest circle, too. Most of them are not the typical air-headed jocks, but people always notice their presence. Baekhyun remembers watching him sometimes whenever he’s surrounded by his noisy friends cracking the funniest jokes with each other. Chanyeol only sits among them— occasionally grinning but would only say a few words, or in the midst of it, he’d pull out his earplugs and listen to something on his phone even when the conversation and laughter become harder to miss.

Like everyone else, he found it cool when he was a new student. Who wouldn’t notice the quiet handsome guy among the bunch? But as time passed by, Baekhyun became genuinely curious about him. What goes on in his mind?

So as much as he can remember, Chanyeol was never the type to brag about playing with an admirer’s feelings. Especially if it’s no one interesting. Why do you think so many people are head over heels for him? He was never an asshole. Or at least as what Baekhyun knew of. That’s why to say he is shocked that the man is being such a playful jerk after finding his journal is definitely, an understatement.

Did Park Chanyeol ever date a guy before?

No one from Yonsei as far as Baekhyun knows of, but he heard the man dated a number of guys, too. One is even a rising star in Japan now. The basketball captain never denied rumors, too, making him open for everyone, basically, to fantasize about.

So is it possible that he’s…?

Baekhyun rolled his eyes from his own thought. _He just gave you a free ticket to the game, stop assuming things._ The man probably just wants to boost his own ego once he sees his avid fanboy in the audience. Nah, Baekhyun won’t embarrass himself for that. This is the first game he’ll have to miss, then.

“Stop being so silent and tell me what you’re problem is! I’m tired of having to force you to speak your mind all the time!”

Not a second has passed when he stepped inside the house and his mother’s shouting from the kitchen can already be heard. Baekhyun stiffened a little, not having to think too hard to figure out what’s happening again.

He slowly walked to the kitchen, trying to interrupt before it gets worse. His father was the first one to see him, expression softening upon meeting his eyes. Baekhyun gulped.

“I’m not a mind-reader Baekho! Are we always going to be like this?” his mother continued with the same amount of frustration. She has her back facing her son and isn’t aware of his presence yet.

“Mom.”

Baekhyun’s voice was weak, but she heard it clearly and faced him. The woman wasn’t crying, but her bloodshot eyes tell him she’s on the closest verge of it.

She took a deep breath before completely walking out without saying anything else anymore.

“Dad, what’s going on again?”

His father simply stared at his son’s confused face, letting out another deep sigh before forcing a smile.

“Nothing… I’m sorry about that.”

“Come on, please. You know you can tell me.” Baekhyun pleaded. He badly wants to know everything so he can help.

“It’s nothing serious, Baek. Go on rest.” the older walked past him, gently tapping his shoulder. “It’s a long day from school.”

Baekhyun remained still for a moment before finally walking up to his room. After weakly closing the door and throwing his bag to the corner, he plopped on his bed with a heavy heart.

This isn’t the first time he caught his parents in a heated argument. Since they moved here, their already stagnant relationship became much worse when they started fighting frequently. If Baekhyun wasn’t there, he still wouldn’t fail to notice the aftermath through their agonizing silence and sometimes his Mom’s swollen eyes.

It’s ironic how he used to wish spending more time with his parents when he was younger. Now that they’re able to do that, his parents could barely be in the same room together. They could’ve at least given him a sibling to share this dilemma with but no, he’s all in this alone. He’s desperate to try and fix this for them when he should be working on his own happiness at this point of his life.

It’s just really hard.

Baekhyun ended up sitting on his filming desk, camera focused on his lower face again. At least here, no one would be able to see through his eyes. He’s just really in need of distraction. Any of it.

“Hey… everyone.” he sighed heavily before forcing a smile, “I don’t think most of you are watching now because this live is unannounced…”

Baekhyun has a fair amount of followers, but not that much to gain a bunch of viewers in an unprecedented live. He can see a few likes coming in, but the comments haven’t started rolling yet. It’s understandable, given that it’s the middle of the afternoon. Some of his followers are busy with their own lives.

“Sorry for not uploading anything for a week…” he muttered even without any proper response. He just noticed the lump that’s been in his throat, making him gulp. “A-And sorry… for this useless live… I just need something to distract me.”

He doesn’t realize he’s letting out another sigh again.

“Sorry about that, again… I hope everyone’s doing well.” he saw a familiar icon popping on his comment section, with the same thumbs up emoji. “Oh, hi _toben._ You’re there…”

****toben ∙ 16:21** **

👍

This made him smile a little. He never really figured out why this user’s redundant comments amuse him so much.

“I can feel your disappointment… sorry no prepared content today.”

****toben ∙ 16:22** **

👍👍👍👍👍👍

“Are you pissed?” Baekhyun gently chuckled, resting his chin on his palm. “You’re my only viewer now, Toben, what should we do?”

The views increased a little. But the comments were still from the same user. Baekhyun even assumed he or she left because of the response that took a while to appear.

****toben ∙ 16:24** **

****_can you sing one song_ ** **

Wow. Instead of another vague emoji, he actually got some words now, huh? Baekhyun smiled again.

“We just have to be alone for you to speak, huh?” he taunted before realizing that he didn’t prepare anything because he simply wanted to be distracted for a while. “I didn’t really intend to sing today.”

He simply looked at the screen though, waiting for the same user to comment.

****toben ∙ 16:25** **

****_can you sing ‘breathe’, please?_ ** **

“By Hayi?” he asked hesitantly, “Oh I don’t know… I don’t really know the chords to it…”

****toben ∙ 16:25** **

****_just acapella is fine_ ** **

Baekhyun simply stared at the same comment. He doesn’t say anything, nor refuse again. Another comment popped up that makes it even more difficult to say no.

****toben ∙ 16:26** **

****_please?_ ** **

He recalled the song is actually a comforting one. Persuaded by his avid follower’s request, he also realized that maybe the person needs to hear some encouragement right now. Baekhyun sighed in defeat.

“Okay…” he smiled while slowly nodding, “since you finally talked to me today, Toben, I’ll sing for you.”

There’s no comment that followed, so Baekhyun cleared his throat and remembers the first few words of the song. When he got a grip of his tone, he started singing.

The lump in his throat seemed to grow bigger as every word escapes his lips. He felt like the song hits him harder today, for some reason. Baekhyun had to close his eyes to continue. His smooth, honey voice easily conceals some stuttering in the first few lines.

_“Someone’s breath. That heavy breath. How can I see through that?”_

Baekhyun heaved in between pauses, living through every lyric and feeling every part of the song even if there’s no instrumental present. Somehow, it became easier for him to let the weight in his chest go through this.

_“Though I can’t understand your breath. It’s alright I’ll hold you…”_

The song alone easily comforted him and he barely even remembers why he had to distract himself in the first place. Baekhyun sang the rest of the song so beautifully, not noticing how his followers eventually found his live and start commenting. He finished the song, eyes still closed and the last line left his lips with a little smile.

_“You really did a good job…”_

Baekhyun swallowed hard, his next breath becoming much easier to let out. He opened his eyes and looks at the flowing comments on the screen.

“Oh…hey, everyone.” his smile became genuine again, “There’s a lot of you here now, _hehe._ You can just replay if you missed that! I may be doing another cover this week! This was just a surprise live… I don’t even know why…” he giggled softly and received more compliment from the comments, but he scrolled back to try and find a certain one. “I missed you too, _raesoo! fluffeols!_ Everyone!”

He pouted a little upon finding the same last comment from the person who requested the song. He actually wants to know if he or she’s fine but there’s not a reaction to his little acapella performance. He unconsciously flashed a small, dismayed smile.

“For now, I need to go again!” he waved at the camera, still watching the comments before he pressed the end button.

“I hope you liked that on the spot cover. Especially, Toben… who requested the song.” he gulped a little, calling the user specifically in hopes to get another comment. “I hope you’re fine.”

Baekhyun leaned closer when he finally saw a comment appearing just as his finger touches the button to end the live video. He blinked a few times.

****toben ∙ 16:30** **

****_that was for you_ ** **

—

After debating with himself for the following days, Baekhyun decided to go to the game anyway.

He’s still embarrassed, that’s given. But he also doesn’t want to be rude when Chanyeol took the time to get him a ticket (they’re really hard to get, by the way. He wasn’t lying about that). And he told himself that this will definitely be the last time. After this, he’ll go full hiding from the sight of the team captain. Of course it won’t be that easy, but for his dignity, he’ll do it.

He went to the stadium a bit late, on purpose. Baekhyun isn’t wrong when he saw the seats in front are all occupied and the people are already cheering even before the game started. In his baby blue Spongebob sweater and a pair of jogging pants, he sat on the farthest part of the lower box section where no one would even bother looking at.

The audience here is a lot wilder, but it definitely has a better view than the upper box.

“Playing for Yonsei!” the commentator introduced the group of players running out to the court and the people go ballistic.

_“PAAAAAAARK!”_

_“KIM JONGIN!!!”_

As always, Yonsei players charm so many fans. Baekhyun doubts everyone here actually likes basketball. Most, if not all, of them just simply want to ogle at the said guys. He slightly grimaced at the thought. Hey, he might be a bit stalkerish when it comes to his biggest crush but he watches these games because he actually enjoys it.

Baekhyun watched the game intently, especially the team’s center who’s glancing around every now and then. The first quarter was already a bit critical, Yonsei leading with a risky gap. The crowd cheered when the quarter ended with Zhang throwing a straight three-point.

“We have a really close gap for the first quarter but Yonsei still leads…”

“SNU surely isn’t slacking off this season!”

Baekhyun unconsciously drooped down on his seat, earning him a weird glance from the girl beside him. He remained watching Chanyeol who’s roaming his gaze around even if the coach is talking to them seriously.

“I feel like they’re giving it to Yonsei for now, just to take the next quarters. You think?” one of the commentators continued.

“Possible!” the other said, “Yonsei’s players are looking frustrated now more than their previous games, looking so intense, huh?”

Baekhyun straightened up when he received a text from his Mom, who turned out is just telling him to heat the dinner in the fridge because she’ll be home late. His little frown from the text immediately softened when he looked back to the court and saw a pair of eyes looking at him. Baekhyun awkwardly looked away with a subtle gulp.

The second quarter is much more intense, with Yonsei players stepping their game up especially the captain who has this little frown on his face that appears whenever he’s too focused. Now that his hair is dyed back to black, it’s even more obvious when he sweats a lot. Baekhyun needed to get his shit together every now and then.

“Eight-point gap! Yonsei leads the second quarter again!”

Chanyeol threw his fist into the air after another last second shot. Baekhyun smiled while proudly watching the man everyone is cheering for, then he sinked down again when he looked at his way.

“Park had his game face on the whole time! He furiously wants that win, Seho!”

His lips protruded before focusing back to his team members, leaving a bit flushed boy seated at the back of the lower box. Halftime enters and the cheering squads are already prepping on both sides of the court for their performances. Sooyoung smiled at the boys trying to wave at her in front.

“For now, we’re entering halftime!” the commentator started off as the big screen above the court shows a shot of the whole audience, while the other screen shows them on their commentary station. “You know what that means?”

“Fun Cam time!” they both exclaimed enthusiastically, “Which fans are too extra to be featured by our rolling cam, huh… there you go!”

A girl in an oversized jersey proudly stood up when she gets flashed on the screen above. Her friends are both cheering and laughing at her, just like a usual crazy circle.

“What does her jersey say?”

 _“Number 10 please let me bear your child.”_ Baekhyun looked at Yixing who’s simply shaking his head while his team teases him, “Oh my… how wild are these girls…”

The screen showed the same segment logo again as the camera finds its next target.

“Rolling cam…” Baekhyun’s breath hitched harshly when he saw his face on the said screen this time, earning a few coos from the audience. “Aha! Look at this cutie!”

He reddened even more while his eyes widen in embarrassment too. He drooped down from his seat as if he can escape the camera focused on him.

“Look at him being shy in his Spongebob sweater…” the commentators sound so awed by how he looks, refusing to look for another person from the audience even when the boy is obviously unamused by the attention. “he might’ve thought he’s going to a slumber party.”

The audience laughed when the camera focuses on the said sweater. Baekhyun caught a glimpse of Chanyeol looking at the screen above him, grinning from ear to ear. His heart flipped even more.

“Maybe that’s how he thinks he’ll impress his long-time crush?” even the embarrassed smile left his face upon hearing this, “Ah… Baekhyunnie here has some confession to make for the basketball captain.”

“Wait, Yonsei? SNU?”

Baekhyun stiffened on his seat, watching the commentators pull something to show to the camera. His eyes widen in horror when he saw some pages of his journal being shown to the screen, so vivid for everyone to read.

“Well the name in this letter clearly indicates Yonsei’s captain.” Baekhyun looked at Chanyeol who’s also looking at the commentators with a stunned face, “Such a brave boy to confess at halftime, huh! Girls and guys, step up your game!”

 _“No…”_ he mumbled when the camera adjusts the focus to make it look even better. His heart definitely skipped a beat while watching his familiar handwriting shown on the wide screen for everyone to whisper about.

“As per your request, here’s your little confession to Park Chanyeol!” Baekhyun gasped when they started reading some lines from it, earning him a collective stares from the people nearby. He caught Chanyeol’s equally horrified gaze from the side of the court, “Aaah, look at that with beautifully handwritten words… Park’s fans are on another level, I swear…”

Baekhyun started quivering in humiliation and anxiety so he stood up from his seat, head and gaze down. He took big steps to leave the venue while he hears the words being broadcasted and the taunting remarks from the people he passed by.

His knees began wobbling too but he just kept running. Baekhyun ran fast and bumped into a lot of people on his way out. He can feel his eyes getting blurry, the voices around becoming muffled, too because of the overflowing thoughts in his head.

“F-Fuck…” he ran until he gets to a part of a hall outside that’s far from anyone, and there he stopped to catch his breath. “Fuck, what just happened…”

“Baekhyun!” he heard running steps behind him but he doesn’t look back. Baekhyun simply held on to the nearest wall while his other palm is placed on his head out of so much frustration.

“Baekhyun, wait…” he breathed heavily when he heard Chanyeol’s voice near him, “I swear, I-I didn’t—”

“You swore… you won’t let anyone know…” he mumbled in disbelief while facing the team captain who ran out of the court when it’s obviously not allowed.

Chanyeol exhaled deeply, “I did! I didn’t give them that copy, I promise—”

“Then how the hell are they reading that now for the whole stadium to hear, huh?”

“I don’t know…” this time, the taller shook his head. He looks like he badly wants to give Baekhyun a proper answer but is equally confused as well. “But I kept it safe before giving it back… I…”

“I was pleading you to give it back in that hall but you didn’t! And now look what happened!” Baekhyun is both mad and on the verge of crying. He just couldn’t find the strength to listen to Chanyeol’s excuses anymore, “Everyone knows now, are you happy? I bet this is such a good joke for you jocks, isn’t it?”

“No…” shoulders drooping down, Chanyeol shook his head and tried to take another step. “I didn’t tell anyone. I promise. I’ll look for the one who did th—”

“Don’t bother.” Baekhyun coldly said, looking into his defeated eyes with so much disappointment. “I had one request, but you snitched, Chanyeol. I hope that was an entertaining halftime.” he ran away and left the basketball captain standing there, even if the next quarter is close to proceeding.

—

“Morning, Byun.” his lips pursed into a thin line when they started blocking his way, “Where were you yesterday?”

“Writing on your journal?”

They threw the same subtle grin at each other, dismissing the sharp look they got from the boy.

“Didn’t know you’re into Park…” one guy even added while giving him a sly smile, “Would like to hangout sometimes? I’ve always found you cute.”

“Please get out of my way.” Baekhyun hissed with finality. They let him walk away but he clearly heard their teasing chuckles even from the distance.

“Baekhyun!” Yeri half-ran into him after spotting him in next hallway, “Oh my god… are you okay?”

“Please, Yeri.” Baekhyun puffed out another heavy breath, “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“No… I was just worried that you didn’t show up yesterday. I thought you were sick.” she said that earned her a look from Baekhyun, “But yeah… that night was terrible.”

Baekhyun kept walking. He didn’t know his first missed day of classes yesterday, after that weekend, will be this big of a deal to some people. He did that to let the issue die down but it seems like a wrong idea because it clearly won’t, at least not anytime soon.

Stupid journal.

“Seho and Jingoo said someone just gave them those letters in your name. Kim Jongin stopped them in the middle of reading, but you know… everyone has already heard a lot.”

Despite the lack of response, Yeri proceeded to reporting, not getting a hint that Baekhyun doesn’t want to recall a tiniest detail of that night.

“Yonsei won but they had to do two overtimes to get it.” she muttered meaningfully, “That was unusual.”

“I couldn’t care less.”

“Wait, you moved on from Park already?” her eyes rounded, “That fast?”

“There’s nothing to move on from, it was just a crush.” Baekhyun gave a dead look at the ground ahead of him, “A stupid and humiliating one.”

“But I heard he ra—”

“I need to go, sorry.” he partly shifted to face her, “I need to go to Student Services.”

“Huh?” she looks horrified for a split second, “No… are you dropping out? Because of what happened?”

“Of course not.” Baekhyun gulped, “I’m finally taking Miss Kwon’s offer. Part-time tutorial to other students for this finals.”

His parents are barely home because of work. And judging from whatever’s happening to them recently, Baekhyun decided he wants to be more independent. Despite being a partial scholar, his tuition fee is still difficult for them to pay so he’s starting to look for opportunities to save allowance on his own. This may be a good distraction for a while as well.

At least he’s being productive instead of observing and crushing on the same man for years. He never even earned money for that.

“But…” Yeri can be annoying sometimes (read as: most of the time) but he appreciates the hint of concern in her voice every time he tells her what he’s up to, “wouldn’t it be difficult for you? What if your student knows you from that game and doesn’t take you seriously? What if they bully you?”

“I’m not letting that happen.” he smiled reassuringly, “I don’t think they’d be that bad. And besides, it’s only one student per tutor according to Miss Kwon.”

He barely has stable friends in this university but that doesn’t mean he’ll let himself be bullied just because of what happened.

But he’s still hoping it wouldn’t be… that bad.

“I can get you a job in our café…” Yeri offered, still reluctant about the tutoring gig. “I can talk to my brother. He knows you, too, remember?”

“It’s okay, Yeri. This will do.” he sighed before continuing, “It’s just a few weeks, anyway. Until finals. I just need a distraction. And the allowance offer is good. I need the money, too.”

“Okay…” Yeri smiled a little, “Just don’t be too busy and forget your fans, okay? We need a new upload every week.”

Baekhyun chuckled and patted her head.

“Silly.”

Yeri went to her next class after their small talk. Baekhyun is set to meet the program director at five but he decided to go earlier so he can ask about some clarifications.

“Hello, Baekhyun!” a middle-aged woman smiled upon seeing him, “How have you been? Are you feeling okay now?”

“I’m fine, Miss Kwon… thank you. It was just a flu.” he lied a little. They were supposed to meet on Monday so he needed an alibi why he was suddenly absent. He can’t really tell her that he needed some time alone because he just got outed and humiliated in a big intercollegiate game. No, thanks. He’s already fortunate enough that the university professors barely know or care about whatever’s happening.

“Thanks for finally granting my request.” she told him gratefully, “I hope this won’t get in the way of your other subjects.”

“No… it’s totally manageable, Miss.” Baekhyun smiles. He’s not early, after all, because the other student tutors are already here and they seem oriented already.

The woman started telling him about the policies and instructions for the said program. Baekhyun definitely likes it so far. This is the most convenient part-time job he can get since it’s in the university program.

“So, that’s Jessica and Junmyeon. They will be tutors, too.” she introduced the girl and boy sitting on the couch, “Our four students are on their way here. The three of you will just lend them your qualifications card. And then, the students will choose the tutor they want.”

Baekhyun smiled at them. Looks like most tutors really had their orientation yesterday because there’s only a few of them now.

“Any questions? Oh, by the way, Junmyeon gets two students because of his availability. In case you’re wondering why there’s four of them.” Mrs. Kwon clarified before someone knocks on her office door, “Okay, they’re here.”

The three are briefly left in their seats when the director went to welcome the students coming in, simply hearing her voice from the door.

“Hello guys, come in.” three unfamiliar students walked in the receiving area where they are. If it isn’t for Jessica’s soft gasp, he won’t be able to notice the tall man that followed right behind them. Baekhyun’s jaw dropped.

_No, no. Just not here, please._

Chanyeol soon caught his gaze, not looking surprised nor amused upon seeing him. Or at least he makes it seem so convincing.

“Please log in your names to my assistant first, thank you!” Mrs. Kwon told them before sitting back behind her table where Baekhyun leaned closer to whisper.

“Uh… Miss Kwon, are we really not allowed to choose our student?” he asked desperately even when it was already clearly stated a while ago.

“No, sorry Baekhyun… that’s the program policy.” his shoulders drooped down in defeat, throwing a subtle glance at the handsome man listing his name down on the associate’s table. “But if two or more students choose you, then maybe we can discuss who you can teach the best.”

Baekhyun remained silent for the next few minutes, thinking of possible ways to escape this situation. The tutors and students were seated across each other while Mrs. Kwon briefly orients the students. He spaced out, staring on the floor and failing to notice a lingering gaze at him every now and then.

Okay, he simply needs to get chosen by other students. That’s enough. If it happens, he doesn’t have a problem anymore. If… Chanyeol chooses him too— which is not gonna happen by the way, but if it does— he needs another student to choose him so he can be the one to pick between them. He can teach his least favorite subject for all he cares if it means getting away from further humiliation.

Baekhyun perks up when the students start introducing themselves and the subject they need to study. He needs to make an impression now to achieve his goal, showing attentiveness to every student speaking. His doom comes back as soon as it could when the three students don’t look a bit interested to spare him a glance.

He wants to groan out loud. Why does Chanyeol even need a tutor suddenly? As far as Baekhyun knows, he’s quite smart!

The said man was quietly sitting on the other end of the couch, lips pursed to suppress something while watching other students speak.

“I want to improve my Business math for finals.” the other stoic-looking student spoke with a hint of demand. The other two tutors couldn’t respond to this immediately, but being desperate as he is, Baekhyun tried to enthusiastically offer.

“Oh! Business Math is one of my majors…” god knows he hates Business Math but there’s no other way, “Maybe I can help you with that. I know the basics very well.”

“I know all the basics.” his smile faded when the student simply gives an emotionless response, “I want the advanced lessons. I want to perfect my score for Business Math finals just like my other subjects. That or nothing.”

Advanced lessons. Great.

Who knows? Maybe he badly needs to get away from his biggest crush that he’ll be willing to learn advanced Business Math.

“Well, I’m sure this one doesn’t need too much introduction?” Baekhyun went back to being silent when it’s the last student’s turn to speak, “What brings you here, Chanyeol?”

“I’m a bit behind for my Economics class.” he politely smiled at the program director, “Too much practice for the past few months, Miss…”

“Ah, the cons of bringing so much pride to Yonsei, I guess?” almost everyone in the room watched him fondly, “I hope you find the assistance you need in this program, Chanyeol.”

The man nodded once, flashing a meaningful smile.

“I’m sure.”

“Alright, I’ll give you a few minutes to discuss with each other so you can pick your best choice. Then after that, we’ll do the assigning, okay?”

The other two tutors obviously want the same students so they prioritize speaking to them first. Baekhyun grabbed this opportunity to face the students closest to him and flashes them a big charming smile.

“So… hey guys!” they barely even smiled back. Oh god, this is going to be tough.

After a few minutes of conversing with each other, the students were called in another room to discuss their preferences with the program director. The tutors waited on the same couch in the receiving area where Baekhyun is awfully worried. He intentionally spoke to the two students longer than intended so that he wouldn’t have to do the same with the _others_ before they needed to choose. Chanyeol barely even spared him a glance from where he sat. Baekhyun holds on to that hope. After all, why would you choose someone who has massive hots for you as tutor?

The other two tutors are obviously smarter than he is, based from their conversation that Baekhyun can barely relate to. That’s it. His only edge maybe is that he’s a bit cuter than them.

DEAR GOD HE WANTS THIS TO BE OVER.

“Okay, our students here have already decided.” he swallowed hard when Miss Kwon walked out of the other room with the four students following behind her. Chanyeol catches his unintentional gaze for a brief second.

“So after you pick your tutor, you can decide what to do then. Your study materials, your review sessions, as long as you give us your study schedule so we can monitor.” she told everyone in the room before facing the student beside him, “Jinyoung?”

“Junmyeon.” _okay, there’s two more. It’s fine._

“Hara?”

“Miss Jessica.”

Baekhyun is starting to lose color on his face, his gaze starting to plead the other student that won’t even look at him.

“Jaeyoon?”

“Hey!” he can’t help calling, earning him gazes from the others. Baekhyun nervously laughed, “U-Uhm… I have an Advanced Business Math book that… can maybe… help you. Or us… hehe, just saying…”

A little hope sparks in him when the student simply nodded, still looking emotionless.

Then he shrugged.

“I pick Mr. Kim.” Baekhyun shut his eyes in frustration. Remind him again why he chose this part-time job? Why didn’t he just take Yeri’s offer? Because if she asks him again right now, he won’t hesitate to say yes… even if he barely knows anything about making coffee.

“Okay, Chanyeol?”

Baekhyun is transparently bummed now. He won’t look at Chanyeol, hoping that he’d come off as rude and he’ll choose from the other two tutors instead. If that happens then Jessica and Junmyeon would gladly drop the other students to pick him instead. Exactly. Baekhyun can get either of them then.

Please… just let that happen.

Chanyeol’s lips protruded while he scratches his nape, “I don’t really have other choice left. Do I, Miss?”

“Well, you could actu—”

“I pick Baekhyun, then.” he said without letting the director speak. She doesn’t seem to mind it when she smiles at everyone for finding their match so easily. Baekhyun was the only one looking like the world has crumbled down on him.

It did, technically.

“Okay! That’s it.” Miss Kwon clasped her hands hopefully, “I hope you get along with each other for the next few weeks and study well. Remember, if the students reach their target mark for finals, our program offers a special token to the student tutors.” she said and Baekhyun honestly wished it would at least make him feel better.

“Good luck!”

Baekhyun can only wait for Miss Kwon to dismiss all of them before walking outside. Even the other tutors have already moved on from failing to get the student they mostly wanted, finally getting along with their assigned students. Baekhyun walked ahead of everyone and waits outside for whatever may happen now.

“So…” the same deep voice gave him tingles, “what now?”

He looked at anywhere but Chanyeol who’s standing right in front of him with his hands in his pockets.

“Let’s just discuss our study schedule so I can give it to the office.” Baekhyun spoke in a fast pace, desperate to get this over with as soon as possible. “And then it’s completely up to you what you want to do, how you want to study, I will just go with the flow—”

“Hey, hey, slow down.” the basketball captain raised his palms to interrupt him, “I paid this program so someone could help me. I want to get the proper service.”

For that, Baekhyun might have felt a bit guilty.

“Fine.” he sighed, still not looking at the taller as he crosses his arms over his chest. “When do you want to study, then?”

He doesn’t hear an immediate answer so he looks at Chanyeol. The said man is looking up as if thinking hard.

“After rehearsals, I’m available from 6PM onwards.” he said in between hums, “So I’m thinking… everyday, then Saturday I’m free the whole day. Also Sunda—”

“Wait… you want to study, every day of the week?” Baekhyun squinted his eyes, “For one subject?”

“ _Major_ subject.” Chanyeol grinned with amusement, even clicking his tongue. “Man, I’m failing Economics so bad.”

Baekhyun failed to notice the hint of sly in his expression so he simply shakes his head.

“We can’t do it everyday, I have other errands.” the taller’s expression fell a little because of this. _Wait, he’s not actually considering of studying every single day, is he?_

Tapping his finger on his lips, Chanyeol thinks again, “Hmm. M W F then weekends.”

“I don’t believe your Saturdays are free. I’m not an idiot.” Baekhyun realized what he said when the captain raised both his brows in amusement. He gulped again, “You have parties… and dates… and shit like that. I know that.”

Chanyeol smiled innocently.

“Does partying seem more important to you than passing a final examination, Baekhyunnie?”

His heart did a harsh stumble.

“H-How would I know? And stop… calling me that.” he frowned even more, earning him a chuckle. “Let’s do it M W F 6 PM, then Saturday 2PM.”

The taller nonchalantly shrugged like he doesn’t really mind any of it, “Sounds like a deal.”

“And…” Baekhyun swallowed again before rambling his words, “Let’s study in a café far from the university. And you have to tell anyone who asks you that I’m a tutor that the program assigned to you and that I didn—”

“I know. I will do that.” the taller nodded, smile slightly faltering. “So I’ll just… drive you to the café every now and then. After classes and from home during weekends?”

Baekhyun is close to losing his mind even with such a simple _academic-related_ conversation. God, how hopeless is he again?

“That’s not necessary…” he shakes his head, “I have an allowance. I can manage.”

Chanyeol raised his brows.

“Still more convenient especially if you want a far café.” he shrugged, not wanting to sound too persuasive. “But okay, if you insist.”

They’re covered in another brief moment of silence. Before he does anything dumb again, he makes it his turn to ask.

“So… do you have any particular request?” Baekhyun kept a blank face, “For the tutor.”

His attempt to appear passive backfires because his cheeks reddened when the captain stares at him seriously.

“Yes.” he exhaled a deep breath, “I want this to work out so I want us to talk about what happened.”

“I don’t want to rec—”

“Hear me out, please?” Chanyeol pleaded and Baekhyun instantly shut his mouth, “I didn’t give anyone a copy of your journal. Any part of it. I was careless, yes. And I’m sorry.” his tone alone tugged something in Baekhyun’s chest, “I’m genuinely sorry if it went out like that and I’m still finding the person who did it—”

“You don’t need to do that.” he says firmly.

“I know, but I want to.” Chanyeol insisted, still looking so guilt-ridden. “I’m sorry if I made you feel disrespected when I wished to read it. I never intended to play with your feelings and just…”

Chanyeol has to pause when Baekhyun finally looked at him directly. He gulped hard before continuing.

“Point is, I want us to go back to normal once we start studying together. I don’t want a barrier between us.”

Baekhyun needed a moment to process it. Chanyeol’s words hit him harder than they should. It’s suddenly so easy to let go of the grudge he’s been holding.

Still, he tried to keep his dignity by maintaining a hard expression.

“Sure.” he said impassively, “I’ve forgiven you, or whoever that was who exposed it. Let’s just move on.” he paused when his gaze falls to the floor again, his voice getting weaker. “I’ll get over it soon. I’m good at that.”

This time, Baekhyun doesn’t try to look at his face when he didn’t get an immediate response again.

“Okay…” Chanyeol said after a while, “Are we good, then?”

“Yup.” Baekhyun blinked a few times, fixing the strap of his bag on his shoulder. “I need to go now. I’ll see you then, Chanyeol.”

“Bye…” Baekhyun heard him say but he proceeded to walk past him. He heaved deeply as soon as he reached the university gate, as if he held his breath all throughout that moment. Never in his wildest dreams did he imagine this to happen to him before, but now he just can’t be completely happy about it. It’s happening in such a wrong situation.

Baekhyun is still spacing out in the bus on his way home, almost not paying attention to his screen lighting up with a new message if it isn’t for the unrecognized number. His heart skipped a beat even without opening it yet, and it’s not surprising why.

_Sorry I forgot to ask for your number so I asked Miss Kwon. I’ll be needing it now, right?_

_See you tomorrow, Baekhyunnie. – CY_

—

Baekhyun caught a grin from one of the basketball players.

“Hey Cap!” he called for the taller man drinking his water on the other side of the bleachers, “Your tutor’s waiting for you!”

Chanyeol turned his head and saw the petite male holding his bag on his lap while waiting on the bleachers. The captain instantly grabbed his gym bag and ran towards where the other is.

Baekhyun tried not to look at his sweaty and panting state, failing terribly.

It’s their second review session already but he’s still not used to it. He couldn’t control his awkwardness around Chanyeol and it’s even worse when the other was obviously amused by his littlest clumsy actions. Aside from that, he couldn’t escape the looks from other people even when they simply have nothing but a professional interaction going on.

He’s obviously doing terribly on this job, thanks for asking.

“Shall we go?” he gulped when the taller flashed him a smile.

“No… I’m just here to get your review materials so I can go through it while waiting at the café…” Baekhyun didn’t want to entertain the idea of sharing even a ride with him and combust into flames. This is how dumb he’s been acting.

“No, it’s okay, let’s go together.” he stiffened when Chanyeol insisted, unconsciously running his fingers through his hair without knowing how it affected the sitting boy harshly, “I’m done practicing. I was done earlier last Wednesday, too but you didn’t wait for me.”

“I-I can just take the bus there—”

“Or I can drive us there with my car.” Chanyeol smiled but his tone was firm, “Don’t make this more hassle for you, Baekhyun. I thought we’re good now?”

“O-Okay…” the captain’s smile grew bigger when he ended up agreeing. He started stepping back even when his gaze remained on Baekhyun.

“Great. I’ll just take a very quick shower.” his lips still had a hint of smile as he glanced at his other teammates still practicing, “You can stay there first… watch the game.”

Baekhyun almost smiled back as a response if it wasn’t for the colorful clothes that caught both their attention. Sooyoung walked near them with her rehearsal uniform and a sweet smile on her lips.

“Hey, Yeol!” she greeted after briefly glancing at Baekhyun, “Where are you guys going?”

No one answered immediately.

“We’re studying out, for finals.” Chanyeol answered blankly after an awkward silence.

“Sounds fun! Can I come?”

“No, Sooyoung.”

“But why? I can—” she tried to insist but stopped when Chanyeol sent her a serious look, “Alright…”

Baekhyun gulped at the sight. He quietly looked at Sooyoung, then to Chanyeol who was back to watching him again.

“Quick shower.” he gave another smile at Baekhyun before walking to the shower room.

Baekhyun subtly looked away when he felt a lingering stare on him as soon as Chanyeol left.

“Hello!” the girl walked closer to stand right in front of him, “I’m Sooyoung.”

“I know…” Baekhyun chuckled lightly, “I’m Baek—”

“Baekhyun, yeah. The confession guy.” his smile faltered when Sooyoung’s tone became menacing in a matter of seconds, “I see your little diary stunt landed you a bigger opportunity towards Chanyeol, huh?”

Baekhyun slowly shook his head, “I don’t…”

“Be grateful to me, I guess.” she said with a shrug and Baekhyun was even more dumbfounded. What happened from the game came back to his mind and he easily started figuring things out again, “But don’t get your hopes too high. It will _never_ happen. You’re just embarrassing yourself even more.” his chest heaved when she flashed another sly smile, “By the way, your journal is very high school.”

The cheerleader walked back to her squad, leaving Baekhyun stunned on his seat. He felt like all his questions were answered but a lot of new ones were adding up as well. He didn’t have any idea what he possibly did for someone to do this. Was it really their way of having fun? Humiliating someone just because a lot of people admire them?

He needed to convince himself repeatedly that he already got over it and it’s wrong to hold grudges. But Baekhyun felt so heavy again. His hands clutched onto his bag harder, and he didn’t even notice Chanyeol coming back until the latter stood right next to him, freshly showered.

“Let’s go?” Chanyeol’s little smile faded when he caught the bothered look on Baekhyun’s face, “Hey, are you okay?”

Baekhyun simply nodded and then quietly walked out of the court ahead of him. The taller watched him, bewildered.

When they reached the parking lot, Baekhyun slowed down to follow Chanyeol to wherever his car was. The latter walked to a Mercedes-Benz, unlocking it with his key. Baekhyun tried to open the door behind the shotgun seat but Chanyeol instantly resisted.

“I’ll just sit here—”

“Really, you’re gonna make me your cab driver?” the side of his lips curled up when the shorter flushed in embarrassment, “Sit here in front.”

Baekhyun was still reluctant, looking around in case anyone was there. Chanyeol pleadingly raised his brows.

“Please?”

With this, all he can do was sigh in defeat and hop on the shotgun seat. The close proximity allowed him to smell Chanyeol’s perfume from where he was. _He still uses the same one._ Baekhyun was a bit ashamed by his supermart cologne, all of a sudden.

“This is tinted, right?” he asked as soon as the engine got started.

“Yes.” Chanyeol said while looking straight ahead, “No one from school’s gonna see us, don’t worry.”

Something about Chanyeol’s tone got him speechless though he can’t exactly point it out. Baekhyun stayed silent on his seat, still thinking about what Sooyoung said as he stared out of the window.

He’s allowed to be mad, right? That girl basically admitted that she’s the one who exposed a part of Baekhyun’s private journal. Chanyeol wasn’t aware nor responsible.

But if he didn’t like him in the first place, this wouldn’t happen. If there’s no stupid content to be exposed in the first place, he wouldn’t be having problems now. This was exactly the reason why he never wanted to let anyone know. Liking someone like Chanyeol will never be easy.

Maybe partly, it’s also his fault; for having a very _high school_ journal, for writing such things, and for carelessly losing it.

Anyway, she’s right. Why would he expect something to happen? He’s not embarrassing himself more than he already did.

“So why don’t we try another café this weekend?” Chanyeol initiated a conversation after repeatedly glancing at the quiet male, “Just a change of scenery…”

Baekhyun mindlessly answered while still staring outside, “Sure.”

Chanyeol looked at him again, worried.

“Is there something wrong—”

“I’m just really tired, I want to take a nap.” Baekhyun didn’t remove his gaze from the moving scenery outside. For some reason, there was a painful bile that wouldn’t leave his throat.

He felt something soft against his arm, making him flinch.

“Here… use this for your neck.” Chanyeol handed him a neck pillow from the backseat, “I’ll wake you up once we’re there.”

Baekhyun looked at him before taking the pillow. He closed his eyes, drowning into deeper thoughts that actually dozed him off to sleep.

After almost thirty minutes, they reached the same place they went to the last time. Baekhyun had never spoken a word since waking up from his nap. Chanyeol merely observed him, not wanting to be snapped at when the shorter was obviously not in the mood. He sure hoped he’d feel better soon enough because…

“Let’s go…” Baekhyun looked back when he noticed Chanyeol simply standing beside his car, suppressing his lips as if he wanted to say something. “Which textbook did you bring, by the way?”

“Actually…” Chanyeol scratched his nape sheepishly, “I forgot to bring them… I’m sorry…”

Baekhyun stared at him seriously.

“What?”

Chanyeol gulped at his reaction but still tried to keep things light.

“I… realized just now that I didn’t bring… any study material.” he slowly said, not getting any proper response from Baekhyun aside from the latter rubbing his eyes in frustration. “Can we just… study tomorrow? We can just eat dinner nearby then go hom—”

“Chanyeol, are you taking this seriously?” Baekhyun couldn’t help his voice from raising. Chanyeol obviously got taken aback by this, “You drove us all the way here just to tell me you’re not planning to study?”

The taller looked a bit shocked by his sudden anger, not expecting him to snap. He forced a chuckle to stop things from heating up but Baekhyun wasn’t having it.

He was not having the best day. Unwanted thoughts and feelings wouldn’t stop bugging him and this wasn’t helping at all. Even if he never wanted to, Baekhyun impulsively had to let out his bottled up frustration.

Because Baekhyun had already told himself countless of times that he’d be with him just for the sake of this job. Even in the car, this was one of his thoughts. This should only be for the sake of studying. They didn’t need to be friends because god knows how much Chanyeol’s littlest actions affect him mercilessly. He wanted to get rid of his feelings so bad and these nice gestures were in no way helping him. They were only pushing him more into the pits of his own misery.

“Baekhyun, it’s just for tonight… it’s not a big deal—”

“It is a big deal! That’s the only reason why I’m here and not to have fun and eat dinner with you. I’m not being paid to do that!”

Even Baekhyun got stilled by his own words. He swallowed hard upon seeing Chanyeol’s relaxing expression.

No one spoke for a while, until a few people that passed by in between their silence got farther from them.

“I don’t get it.” Chanyeol forced a little smile but his jaw slightly hardened, “I already apologized to you, didn’t I?”

Baekhyun gritted his teeth hard when the lump that had been in his throat turned into words that he surely could’ve phrased better.

“Just… stop being so nice to me!” he exclaimed in between heaving, “You don’t have to act like that around me, Chanyeol. Really. Stop it.”

Chanyeol appeared equally frustrated, but he’s much better keeping composure. His eyes were filled with confusion and he didn’t hesitate voicing it out.

“I’m being nice to you because I want to, Baekhyun.” Baekhyun pursed his lips because of this but the taller proceeded, “Just like how I am to anyone. Why would you assume that I’m faking it? Is that how you think of me?”

The shorter’s gaze guiltily fell to the ground, unable to retaliate. Chanyeol chuckled but the dismay dripped from his tone.

“Did you like me because you think I’m this _cool, arrogant_ basketball captain who’s a big asshole to everyone?” Baekhyun had to grit his teeth harder when a harsh pang hit him in his chest. He tried looking up at Chanyeol but retreated when the disappointment on the taller’s face became too much for him to handle, “Well, hurt to burst your bubble, but I’m not. I’m treating you like a decent human being, Baekhyun, like how I should.”

 _I know that._ Baekhyun wanted to say. He always knew that, that’s why he liked him so much. He liked him more and more that it became another problem, too.

His defeated gaze remained on the floor, breath labored.

“I-I just don’t want to embarrass myself again…” Baekhyun admitted weakly. _But then he’s doing it right now anyway, right? Way to mess things up again, Byun._

Chanyeol seriously looked at him before speaking firmly.

“I’m not going to play with your feelings, if that’s what you’re worried about.” Chanyeol sighed, “I have clean intentions. I just want us to be good… friends.”

Baekhyun blinked for a few times before slowly nodding.

“O-Okay…”

Chanyeol slightly gulped before placing his hands in both his pockets.

“Let’s go home.” he told Baekhyun and started walking back to the car.

Baekhyun looked at him from his place, blinking in awe. “I thought you…”

“Actually, I’m a little tired, too.” Chanyeol said before glancing back at him to force a reassuring smile, “Let’s just drive back.”

He turned away again and completely entered the car while Baekhyun was left there with an even heavier weight in his chest. He surely has a talent of making situations worse than they already are. This wasn’t how he expected it to turn out, but it’s all his fault. Now he wanted to cry because of the agonizing guilt in his heart. _He shouldn’t have said that._ He shouldn’t have said any of that at all.

On their way home, Chanyeol was as silent as he was. While Baekhyun anxiously fiddled his hands on his lap while looking outside.

In the midst of debating within himself whether he should apologize, Baekhyun fell asleep again, his neck pillow getting fixed for his comfort whenever the traffic light went red.

—

Things barely got better after that.

Chanyeol treated him the same, except Baekhyun didn’t fail to notice how he seemed reluctant whenever he wanted to say or do something nice.

They didn’t have any proper session after that, too because Chanyeol would always cancel for an important practice since the final game is nearing. It’s starting to get into Baekhyun’s nerves again.

Probably because he was hoping to slowly make it up and find resolution to whatever he did but the important practice really just had to interrupt. It’s mostly his frustration that he wouldn’t admit to himself.

His last class for the day ended early, so he went out of the building to go to the court for their scheduled review session for today. Baekhyun brought extra study materials with him so Chanyeol could still easily catch up for those canceled sessions. He can’t let him fail his final exam.

Well… simply for his token from the program.

“Baekhyun!” he saw Yeri waiting outside the building with a man obviously older. Baekhyun waved back as they get closer, “Surprise! This is Junsu, my brother!”

The handsome man smiled at him. Baekhyun surely knew Yeri’s brother because he’s quite known on the same platform he uses, except people actually see his face. He’s a famous instrumentalist, covering and composing new music for some famous musicians, too. Baekhyun remembered laughing at Yeri when she said he’s her brother until she actually showed him pictures. Since then, she’s been urging him about a collab for a video but Baekhyun never took it seriously.

Until now.

“Oh… h-hi.” Baekhyun sheepishly smiled, “It’s nice to finally meet you. I’ve been watching your covers…” he couldn’t even control his obvious fanboying.

“Likewise.” Junsu said while looking at him, “I’m a fan of you, actually. So I’ve been urging Yeri for a long time.”

Baekhyun awkwardly laughed. He can’t believe someone like Junsu actually watched his videos, but he seemed really sincere about it.

“Yey! You promised a collab, right?” Baekhyun’s smile slowly faltered but Yeri tugged his arm, “Baekhyunnie, come on. You said anytime?”

He instinctively looked at the direction of the court, “Uh… I have a tutorial session today so I can’t… really…”

“Come on, just for tonight, please?” Yeri gave him her convincing smile that can surely persuade anyone, “Junsu came all the way here. I’m sure Chanyeol would understand! He ditched you twice!”

And now that she even reminded him of it, it didn’t make him less reluctant. If he was asked in a different time, he wouldn’t think twice. This is an opportunity he would never want to miss. But now, it’s not the only important thing for Baekhyun.

“Yeri…”

“Twice?” Junsu raised his brows in intrigue, “Why would someone even ditch you?”

“Not really… that…” Baekhyun blinked a few times, “I mean, just cancelled lessons. No big deal.”

Yeri didn’t stop insisting, gently shaking his arm with the same puppy eyes.

“Baekhyun, please? We can do it at our house! Junsu’s got a whole studio there for you to record! You’ve always wanted to go there, right?”

He looked at her in defeat, then to Junsu who was simply watching them with a hopeful smile.

Baekhyun sighed, “Fine.”

Missing one session shouldn’t be a big deal, right?

The siblings walked with him to the court so he could inform his student who’s practicing. On their way there, Baekhyun would only force a response and occasional smiles while they tell him stories. He’s been thinking of the right words to tell Chanyeol and it’s not easy like he thought.

It got worse when he got inside and Chanyeol immediately spotted him, smiling big as he ran towards where he was.

“Baekhyun!” he gulped when Chanyeol stopped right in front of him with the usual glint in his eyes, “Hey, so I really want to make up for those two nights of practice so I looked for a new café at Myeongdong.” he said eagerly, “I found one that’s really cool, we should try it later!”

“Uh… Chanyeol.” Baekhyun started off almost weakly, “Sorry, but… I can’t tonight. Can we just catch up tomorrow?”

The way Chanyeol’s expression fell sent a pinch in his chest.

“Why?” the captain asked while blinking slowly. He looked at the same direction Baekhyun did, seeing the siblings waiting meters away from them. Chanyeol’s gaze lingered on the older male before it settled back on the boy in front of him.

“Yeri and her brother, uh…” Baekhyun decided to be vague, “We’re kinda going somewhere important.”

Chanyeol gave him a nod, the same smile forcefully etched on his lips.

“Ah…” Chanyeol couldn’t help uttering, “far more important than my finals?”

There was a hint of humor in his tone, but for some reason Baekhyun felt like he meant something else. It infuriated him suddenly, almost like how it pissed him off whenever Chanyeol canceled their past two lessons. That’s probably where Chanyeol was coming from too that moment. Exactly that, maybe.

“Hey, you missed two sessions and you didn’t hear from me.” he retaliated with the same trace of sarcasm, “I think I can cancel once in a while too if something important comes up.”

They looked at each other, both gazes testing. There was an obvious tension that even Jongin who planned to walk past and send them his usual teasing remarks suddenly retreated back.

Baekhyun blinked rapidly when Chanyeol was the first one to back down and flash another reassuring smile instead.

“Of course.” he chuckled, “I was just kidding.”

There’s another brief silence before Baekhyun finally took courage to get it done.

“So… I’ll just see you tomorrow?”

Chanyeol responded with another nod, “Yup. I’ll just update you about the topics I’ll go through.”

Baekhyun’s eyes rounded.

“Wait… you’re pushing through later?”

“Yeah.” the taller shrugged, “Try to self-study I guess.”

Baekhyun couldn’t say anything else. The guilt worsened, and it said a lot considering it was the only thing he’s been feeling since this conversation even began. No matter how his mind rationalized his choice, it was unparalleled to what he felt.

“I think they’re calling you now.” Chanyeol looked at the two people waiting for him before smiling, “Enjoy.”

The basketball captain turned away to go back to practice but Baekhyun stood there for a while and stared at his back, only snapping back when Yeri called him repeatedly.

From then on, it’s suddenly hard to have fun with the other two. Yeri and Junsu had been nice to him and even insisted they’d treat him dinner before going to their house to record. Baekhyun simply responded with simple hums and smiles, his thoughts flying off somewhere. He’s never the type to be rude in conversations but his excessive spacing out uncontrollably came off that way. Junsu’s occasional questions if he’s feeling okay is enough proof of that.

At seven in the evening, they were able to finish one song for their live collaboration. The siblings made sure the camera doesn’t focus on Baekhyun’s face just like his other videos. Junsu has way more followers than him so it’s not surprising that the beginning of the live already has a lot of viewers to keep the comments flowing. Baekhyun even saw some familiar usernames.

“That was fun.” Junsu told him while seated in front of the keyboard, “Look, the comments are nonstop. You’re right, live sessions are better.”

“Most of your avid followers really went to Junsu’s account!” Yeri giggled and pointed him the screen, “See? I know their usernames!”

Baekhyun smiled back before checking his own phone, seeing no new message.

“Would you like another song, from B_hundred_melody?” Junsu asked his viewers. Baekhyun simply responded with a light chuckle, but he’s starting to feel bothered again by the thought of something else. “Aaah collab of the year.”

“They want another song, B!” Yeri said enthusiastically, “Don’t worry, guys, B promised a medley!”

Baekhyun thought of another way to possibly make him feel better.

“Hey user _toben_ , send a thumbs up of you want one more song.” he said while looking at the screen where a lot of his followers were already commenting, “Come on, where’s my favorite guy?”

His eyes lingered on the continuous comments popping up on the screen, not one from the user he’s looking for.

“Not here…” he mumbled in obvious disappointment, “Wow, _toben_ finally missed a video of mine. I’m offended.”

“What kind of name is that, even?” Junsu mindlessly asked before dismissing more upcoming comments, “So, let’s do the next one?”

Yeri squealed in agreement and started setting up the mic again.

It seemed to hit a certain button, for some reason. Because Baekhyun decided it’s the last straw when the weight in his chest didn’t seem to get lighter. Every second he’s here felt tormenting. He had to be somewhere else at that moment, and it’s only then that he finally acknowledged it.

“Junsu-hyung, Yeri… it’s been nice, but I really have to go.”

The younger gasped while Junsu simply looked at him in disbelief.

“What? We only finished one song!” Yeri whined after pausing the live, but Baekhyun was already grabbing his bag from the nearby couch. “Baekhyun, you promised!”

Baekhyun briefly checked his phone again. The empty inbox urged him even more to leave as soon as he can.

“I’ll make it up to you next time… there’s just something important I need to do.” he smiled despite the firmness in his eyes, “Really important. I’m sorry.”

He ran out of the studio where the siblings fell speechless. He’s pretty sure they’re dismayed on how he acted throughout the day but Baekhyun just didn’t care anymore. He already disappointed a lot of people and it’s just a matter of choosing who’s the most important to make it up to. Now, he’s sure of it.

There were some taxi passing by the village so he didn’t think twice and hops in one. His heart wouldn’t stop rummaging against his chest, earnestly wishing that his student was still in their go-to place. That he didn’t push through going to that new café in Myeongdong they were supposed to try. At least not without him. He wished that Chanyeol hadn’t completely seen him in a different way because of the stupid issues he’s been having recently.

Screw trying to get even with Chanyeol intentionally. He couldn’t keep doing this when he’s been nothing but nice to him.

Baekhyun’s so done being an asshole in this setup. If a good friendship with his crush will cause him deeper feelings or a possibility of crashing into his own hopes, then he’d just let it be. Either way, it will happen. It should’ve been long ago when he accepted that he’s not going to get over Chanyeol soon and so easily.

He reached the said café, half-running inside to find a certain boy. His hope started to crumble slowly when he didn’t see him inside. But he gripped his phone tighter and walked out again to try and call him.

 _“Baekhyunnie?”_ Baekhyun’s heart did a major flip when Chanyeol picked up after a few rings.

“Chanyeol?” he breathed the cold breeze of air through his mouth, still panting from walking too fast. “C-Chanyeol… did you go home?”

There was a brief pause from the other line, but he could hear some muffled sound of cars. His hope crashed even more.

_“Why?”_

Baekhyun sadly smiled. Maybe Chanyeol was too tired so he decided not to push through the review. Maybe he’s on his way home now. That actually sounded a lot better.

But then somehow, a part of him wanted to tell Chanyeol to drive back here, proceed with the review together, or just… simply try the new café down town. Any of those would do.

“I’m here…” he gulped and huffed another silent breath, “At the u-usual café… I-I was hoping if…” Baekhyun lets out a light chuckle while shaking his head, “N-Nevermind… drive safely and—”

_“Look behind.”_

He instantly did, facing the road near the café. Baekhyun instantly caught Chanyeol’s eyes while the latter crossed the street in the middle of red light, holding his phone on one hand while guiding an old woman on the other. He smiled at Baekhyun even from the distance and it was easy to figure out for the shorter why things wouldn’t stop bugging him majority of the day he wasn’t here.

The old lady fondly smiled at Chanyeol as soon as they reached the safe side of the street. Baekhyun watched him while he bowed politely, until the lady walked away on her own. The petite male unknowingly smiled to himself.

“Sorry, I was scared for the _ahjumma._ ” Chanyeol told him as soon as he got closer. His ears were cutely sticking out because of the bonnet he was wearing. Baekhyun fought the urge to tug them.

“You’re here…” he responded while looking at Chanyeol’s face, slightly abashed by his breathless state. “S-Sorry, I kinda ran…”

Chanyeol simply nodded while still staring at him intently. They both had to squint their eyes every now and then because of the cold air.

“Thought you have plans tonight?”

Baekhyun sure had.

“Well…” Baekhyun felt his eyes slightly watering because of the overwhelming feeling in his chest. He couldn’t explain it, “I’m worried about you self-studying…” then he chose to lighten it up by chuckling heartily.

Chanyeol’s eyes lingered on him before pursing his lips to suppress a smile.

“Sure, you are…” he said, reflecting the same glint in Baekhyun’s eyes. “Shall we try the Myeongdong café?”

Baekhyun’s eyes crinkled when he smiled back and nodded frantically. Maybe it wasn’t a bad job, after all.


	2. What shall we do?

“U-Uhm…”

Baekhyun gulped when the tall man behind the counter squinted his eyes in suspicion.

“What? Is it your birthday, boy? Let me see your ID.” he said inquisitively. Baekhyun subtly glanced at Chanyeol on their table to ask help but the taller simply smiled tauntingly, flashing his dimple.

He gritted his teeth before looking at the man again, who was resting his hand on his waist this time.

“The truth is…” Baekhyun smiled sheepishly and pointed at the guy back in their table, “That man there… he’s my boyfriend… I’m planning to propose to him tonight so I’m asking for a little help.”

“Oh my god!” another woman, who’s wearing the same apron like this grumpy man, squealed excitedly. Baekhyun anxiously fiddled his hands.

“That’s bullshit. You’re like… so young.” the grumpy guy _psh-ed_ , even glancing at Chanyeol from the distance who’s ‘studying’ cluelessly. “How would you even marry him?”

“I—”

“Shut up, Kwangsoo! You’re ruining the moment!” the girl hissed before smiling at him again, “What’s your boyfriend’s name? So we can write it with chocolate syrup.”

Baekhyun’s eyes twinkled.

“Chanyeol…”

“What should we put then?” she asked after writing it down, “Should we write _Marry Me?_ Short but direct!”

He nervously laughed when the grumpy guy still looked suspicious, “N-No need…”

“Okay! How will we enter with the dessert then? Will you send us a signal once you’ve popped the question?”

“Ah… _hehe_ , I’m planning to do it as soon as I come back… so I’m hoping if I can get it now?”

“Aaww! Then we should just put _Say Yes._ Right? That’s a good idea!” she nodded continuously at her own suggestion. Baekhyun wasn’t able to say anything else anymore when she proceeded to do it, “I’ll do it now, wait there!”

He came back to their table with a plate of free cake, with a big _Say Yes_ written in cursive.

“Pft—” Chanyeol covered his lips with a palm, shoulders shaking because of laughter.

“Never make me do that again.” Baekhyun hissed at him, “I was so embarrassed, idiot.”

“Well, you’re the one who said a free dessert tastes better.” Chanyeol shrugged while grinning like a Cheshire cat. “Your acting got us a free slice of cake.”

“Yeah, after pretending I was going to propose.” Baekhyun still looked ashamed about it. He had never tried lying for free desserts before. “If they walk towards us, pretend you’re tearing up in joy. We’re supposed to be engaged.”

Chanyeol had a hint of smile from this.

“That doesn’t sound like a bad bargain.” he said teasingly, “Very journal worthy.”

“Shut up!” Baekhyun seethed at another journal joke, but it only amused the taller even more. He glared at him before frowning at the plate of cake, “It’s not even a chocolate bomb… I wanted chocolate bomb…”

“No one gives free chocolate bomb.” Baekhyun gave a mocking face that instantly relaxed when he saw the tall counter guy staring at them.

He mumbled a cuss, “Fuck, they’re looking at us…”

“Come here.” he froze a little when Chanyeol pulled him close in the couch. He hugged him tight and Baekhyun looked up at him in question, especially when he caught a small curve on his lips. But Chanyeol simply shrugged in between embrace, “What? Let’s act like newly engaged.”

He couldn’t complain anymore when the café staffs continued to observe them, the woman who gave him the cake was obviously giggling. Baekhyun gave her a thumbs up and a teeth-y smile.

“You know what? I think we should call off the deal. You’re obviously scamming me!” Baekhyun muttered while still pressed against Chanyeol’s chest.

“Byun, you’re the one who said I get to dare you when I perfect every quiz.” Chanyeol’s deep voice reverberated against his ears, and it was like the sound of heaven. He had to blush profusely.

“You always perfect them!”

“It’s not my fault.” Chanyeol retaliated, “You have to stand by your word. I get a prize if I get a high mark on finals.”

Baekhyun simply sighed in defeat. It’s still shocking to him how Chanyeol managed to get perfect scores in almost all of his short quizzes throughout the whole month of studying. One time, Baekhyun joked about exposing him to Miss Kwon that he didn’t need his teaching service anymore because he’s obviously nailing this subject already. Chanyeol failed the quiz that day.

This prize per perfect score challenge was surely one of his regrets in life. Chanyeol was definitely taking it as a competition.

“Fine.” Baekhyun pouted and began tasting the cake when they were able to stop the show. He beamed happily at one scoop, “This cake is actually good!”

“Because it’s free?” Chanyeol asked while watching him.

“No, really, it’s heaven.” Baekhyun assured him, a smile forming on his lips. “Reminds me of that cake my Dad and I really liked.”

“Your father likes sweets, too?”

“Yeah. That’s out biggest bonding.” his smile grew bigger when he remembered so many things, picturing them perfectly. “We have this favorite dessert place in Myeongdong. When we were still living in Bucheon, we would drive to Seoul just to eat there. All three of us. I remember the last time we went there more than five years ago, I had constipation on our way back to Bucheon because I ate too much sweets.”

He chuckled from the memory. Life in Bucheon felt so long ago now, and nostalgia hit him differently.

“More than five years ago?” Chanyeol asked, looking curious. “You haven’t come back even after permanently moving here?”

Baekhyun’s smile slowly faltered. He got taken aback by the question. It’s only now that he realized that they haven’t.

“No…” he said and forced another smile, “we don’t really have the time anymore. We don’t go out often. My Mom also said she never liked that place because it was too crowded for her.” he spaced out.

There was a feeling that came along with that memory, because Baekhyun remembered his younger self getting offended by this. He grew up thinking that their family was ideal because of those moments. It was then that he realized that his mother was never as happy as he was or his Dad during those times. Still, he appreciated the fact that she tried. Sometimes, it would still come across his mind, though.

As time passed by, he became aware that this didn’t just apply to that situation but to others as well. It was either his Mom or Dad faking it so that he’d have nice memories. Fabricated ones, you can call it.

He snapped back from his thoughts when he realized Chanyeol was looking at him because of his sudden silence, so he casually continued.

“She said it’s a waste of time driving all the way to Seoul for dessert. I guess she’s right.” he said with a small grin, “I don’t even know if it’s still there.”

The taller’s gaze still lingered on him until his phone rang on the table. Baekhyun caught a glimpse of Jongin’s name on the screen.

“What?” Chanyeol yapped, frowning from the words coming from the other line. “Huh? You told me you don’t have plans!”

Baekhyun raised a brow and roamed his eyes around even if he could still hear him very well.

“Damn you, you can’t leave my apartment! Don’t you leave Tob—”

Baekhyun looked at Chanyeol when the latter instantly paused. He blinked rapidly and cleared his throat.

“Don’t leave my dog!” Chanyeol rephrased while still frowning. Baekhyun fought the urge to smile when he unconsciously pouted, “You’re a prick! You’re not having any of my Yakult jelly anymore!”

With an amused smile, he watched Chanyeol sulking for a while after dropping the call.

“I know it’s still early and we just finished the first quiz…” he started off, “but…”

“You need to go home.” Baekhyun finished it for him, smiling to assure him. “Yeah, it’s okay. Your dog needs you.”

He started fixing their things, but Chanyeol still looked dismayed on his seat.

“Hey…”

“Yup?”

“Since it’s still a bit early…” he blinked when Baekhyun looked at him, “do you want to go to my apartment instead? Let’s continue there… or watch a movie, I don’t know.” he gulped when Baekhyun parted his lips in awe, “I can drive you to your house after.”

Baekhyun felt his breath hitching when he saw the hopeful look on Chanyeol’s face.

“I-I don’t know… it’s getting dark soon…” he said like it’s a reasonable alibi. He just couldn’t process the idea of going to his crush’s apartment with just the two of them, okay? And maybe the dog.

“Okay.” Chanyeol nodded instantly. Baekhyun apologized awkwardly, but he assured him it’s fine and they could surely continue on their next session. He shouldn’t even be the one apologizing in the first place.

Baekhyun stiffened when he felt an arm around his shoulders on their way out. He looked up and saw Chanyeol smiling at him fondly, making him palpitate effortlessly. He soon understood the gesture when he saw the café employees looking at them. The girl waved at the two while Kwangsoo finally appeared convinced by the gazes alone. Of all actions, it was the one that made him believe they’re actually a newly-engaged couple.

They both waved at them and got out of the café. The smile lingered on Baekhyun’s lips while Chanyeol hugged himself in his coat because of the sudden cold.

“Hey.” he looked back when Baekhyun called, “Let’s go…”

Chanyeol squinted his eyes in confusion, “Let’s…?”

“Let’s go to your apartment.” Baekhyun said with the same little smile, “Watch a movie.”

The taller slowly beamed again, nodding once.

They both walked towards Chanyeol’s car with the same level of enthusiasm… for watching a movie.

“I wanna meet your dog, too…” Baekhyun chuckled, “What’s the name, by the way?”

He barely noticed the way Chanyeol paused for a moment, smile turning sheepish.

“Bee…thoven.” he slowly said and earned a soft laugh from the shorter, “We call him Beethoven.”

Baekhyun looked at him in amusement, “That’s a long name.”

—

After weeks of half-studying and half-fooling around together, the day of final exams finally came. Baekhyun found himself worrying for Chanyeol’s scores more than his own. He knew that the basketball captain is already smart to begin with, but he’s thinking about his own teaching skill. He’s worried if he actually helped Chanyeol or he simply distracted him with their supposed study schedules turn into other spontaneous activities and pranks.

Don’t get him wrong, he’s also worried about his final exams. But hanging out and getting much closer to your crush within a couple of weeks surely inspired him a lot to study. It’s proven and tested.

“Hey!” Baekhyun called as soon as the phone is picked up, “Where are you? I thought we’re doing a quick review before your exams?”

He looked around the court area where they decided to meet for a pre-exam review but he couldn’t spot Chanyeol.

_“Ah… sorry, I’m running late today so I guess I’ll go straight to it later.”_

Bummed. He was hoping to at least see him before his own exam.

“Okay.” Baekhyun responded despite his lips puckering into a pout. He decided to tease him instead, “Are you preparing for my victory?”

 _“Psh.”_ he guffawed when Chanyeol let out a loud snort, _“I will kick the shit out of this exam like your mini quizzes, Baek, don’t be too confident.”_

“Kidding aside, best of luck Chanyeol.” he told him sincerely, “You don’t need to think about that little agreement. I want you to pass, too.”

Chanyeol hummed from the other line.

 _“Nope, I’m taking that deal very seriously.”_ Baekhyun smiled while shaking his head, amused by Chanyeol’s competitiveness. _“I want to win. I just need to.”_

“You’re scaring me.” Baekhyun squinted his eyes when he simply earned a soft chuckle from the other, “Just don’t make me eat cucumber or strip in public as a winning favor.”

Chanyeol’s deep laugh still makes his heart flutter every time. That’s one of the few things the taller has yet to know.

 _“Silly.”_ he told Baekhyun with an obvious smile from his tone alone, _“We’ll see about it after I pass this exam.”_

Baekhyun got a bit gloomy recently when he thought about this moment. About them being done with their study sessions, but he soon realized that he’s already lucky enough to be friends with him because of this opportunity. Right then, he’s alright again.

So whoever wins this deal, or whatever the hell is the prize— he still got to be with Chanyeol and it’s more than enough.

“Good luck, Chanyeol.”

_“See you, Baekhyunnie.”_

After almost six hours of nonstop examinations, Baekhyun’s last class finally ended.

As usual, his classmates would buzz around as soon as the professor left the room, discussing about their scores and how difficult the exams were. Too jaded to think about anything, Baekhyun waited for the majority of the class to leave the room before deciding to do the same. Baekhyun did well for someone who prioritized hanging out instead of actually studying. For someone who mostly crammed the whole thing, he’s just glad that it’s over. Exams are the worst, seriously.

It’s as if someone might have actually heard his thoughts when he saw a familiar face waiting for him right outside the room. Chanyeol seemed oblivious of the attention he’s getting even from the few people left. He smiled at Baekhyun who’s carefully waiting for his classmates to get farther before walking towards him.

“C-Chanyeol?” he stuttered out of surprise, “What are you doing here…”

“Sorry, I figured that your last class for the day is ending so I went here…”

“Ah… you should’ve texted me…” Baekhyun chuckled, taking another look around before settling his gaze on the taller. “How was the exam, by the way?”

Chanyeol’s smile became even more prominent as if he was just waiting to be asked. He pulls out something from his bag before handing it to Baekhyun.

After a lingering look on the familiar score sheet, Baekhyun glanced up at him and takes it to see what’s inside.

His eyes widened.

“What…” he let out a sharp gasp, “perfect mark?”

Chanyeol simply stared at his awed face while nodding.

Baekhyun blinked continuously, “Is this real?”

“I’m a bit offended, Byun.” Chanyeol narrowed his eyes despite the smile on his face growing bigger, “But yeah, it’s real.”

“No, it’s just shocking!” Baekhyun laughed in disbelief. He felt even more stupid and he’s not even insulted about it, “I’ve never had a grade like this and to think I’m your tutor! I’m embarrassed!”

Chanyeol chuckled before a small meaningful smile settled on his lips. He watched Baekhyun’s face while the latter is still happily smiling down at his score card.

“I guess I was really desperate to pass.” he muttered.

“Ah… so I guess you’re here for your prize? Wow, it can’t wait huh?” Baekhyun looked up at him with an amused grin, “Alright, Park. Let’s negotiate.”

He raised both his brows when Chanyeol became a bit more serious. Baekhyun chuckled at this. He then started picturing the pranks Chanyeol has in mind for him. He’s not even scared, at all.

“What? Come on, anything as long as it’s not dangerous or expensive. I’ll do it.” Baekhyun grins to assure him.

Chanyeol looked down at his own hands before letting out a huge sigh. It is then that Baekhyun’s taunting smile started faltering upon seeing him gathering courage for something.

“Okay.” he nodded once and looked at him right into his eyes, “Go out with me, Baekhyun.”

Baekhyun’s lips pursed into a thin line. His heart felt like jumping off his chest while he waits for a punchline or a boisterous laughter from the man in front of him, but none of those came. Chanyeol still has this small curve on his lips, but his eyes tell him he’s not up for games.

“Is t-this part of the prank or…” Baekhyun tried to laugh despite his hitching breath, “Go out? As in…”

“As in go out.” Baekhyun heaved deeply; _as in like a date?_

“As in l-like… our study sessions?”

“Probably… but without the studying.” _a date?_

“Ah… like a post-exam d-discussion—”

“As in a date, Baek.” Chanyeol cut him off with a deep chuckle before he gets farther from the main point. “Go out on a date with me.”

Baekhyun parted his lips to say something but nothing coherent came to his mind. His eyes were blinking in a continuous pace.

“I-I…”

“If you’re worrying about people seeing us, then don’t. I know a lot of good places far from here.” Chanyeol assured him because of his long silence. His expression fell when Baekhyun still won’t speak, “O-Or… if you don’t want to, it’s also fine. I can just—”

Out of the hundred words that were at the edge of his tongue, Baekhyun ended up uttering one short question.

“W-Why me?” he mumbled weakly, still refusing to believe it.

Chanyeol gave him a smile that sent more jolts all over his body.

“Why not you?” he simply asked him back. He didn’t give Baekhyun a definite answer. He knew he didn’t have to, “Look, I’ll give you time to think. That’s the only favor I want for passing the exam, but it’s really okay if you don’t want to… it’s not a big deal, Baek don’t wor—”

“Let’s do it…” Baekhyun’s voice is still languid but it’s more than enough to cut him off, along with his glazed eyes staring up at him. “L-Let’s go out…”

It’s Chanyeol’s turn to part his lips to try speaking, only to end up pursing them close again just to smile.

The same one slowly formed on Baekhyun’s lips too. His gaze caught someone waving from the distance.

“Jongin is calling you.” Baekhyun told the man who’s still watching him in disbelief.

“Ah, practice…” Chanyeol blinked when he got pulled back to reality, smiling so brightly. “S-So, I’ll just fetch you, tomorrow then…?”

Baekhyun nodded once, “Okay…”

It all seemed like a déjà vu, or a very ideal journal entry scenario. Chanyeol stepped back away from him so he wouldn’t have to let go of him from his sight, wearing the same victorious and cheeky smile.

“See you.” he mumbled, still enough for Baekhyun to hear.

Baekhyun had to repeatedly ask himself if it’s real. If it’s really happening. But one after another, he blinks his eyes and Chanyeol’s still there. His heart is still jumping frantically.

It’s real.

—

“Chanyeol, why are we here?”

The taller was still sporting that sly smile even if they were trembling in their white jumpsuit coats. It’s getting closer to winter but for some reason, Chanyeol brought him into this small nature reserve with a bunch of hays and obstacles setup around. There weren’t any people around them because no one’s crazy enough to do this outdoor activity a few days before winter.

No one as crazy as them.

Baekhyun stood still as Chanyeol put some big lab goggles on his eyes, having the time of his life by fixing his hair, too.

“We’re sightseeing.” he said, even if it’s obviously bullshit because they had to put a used overall jumpsuit and goggles. “I’ve always wanted to come here but there’s always a lot of people.”

Before he could ask again, one of the camp employees walked towards them, holding two filled shoulders bags. Contrary to the taller’s smiling face, Baekhyun looked even more confused.

“Here.” the lanky boy gently shook his head, “If you two idiots get hypothermia, don’t blame me.” he shrugged as he walked away.

Baekhyun couldn’t figure out what they’re up to, until Chanyeol had slung one of the shoulder bags on him. He finally got to see a bunch of paint balls inside them. He looked at Chanyeol with widening eyes, unable to notice that the latter was already pulling one from his own.

“You—”

“You asked what we’re here for…” Chanyeol said with an innocent smile then successfully bursts a paintball on his shoulder, “here!”

Baekhyun gasped in shock when a blue paint trailed all over his suit. Chanyeol was already running away with a boisterous laughter.

“PARK!”

The sun was blocked by clouds and the weather made the day feel a lot gloomier. But the cold was completely forgotten by these two boys, running around a pile of hays while throwing each other paint. They didn’t even go easy on one another, harshly throwing and smashing the balls like they’re on an actual war. It’s not a surprising date activity for someone so competitive like the two of them. In the midst of it, they’re already covered with abstract colors on their clothes and cheeks.

Sometimes the staffs would just watch them with shaking heads as they tackled and wrestled against each other on the stacks of hay. _Such idiots._

“Okay, Byun… time to have mercy.” he grinned from ear to ear while hiding behind an obstacle. He could hear Chanyeol leaning on the other side, heavily panting.

“Given up so fast, coward?” he tauntingly said, slowly standing up to catch the other off-guard. He knew very well he’s doing just the same to run away after a failed plead.

“I don’t have any paint now…” Chanyeol said that made him laugh silently. He cleared his throat.

“Okay…” he said while suppressing another laugh, “let’s get out of here and call it quits.”

“Really?”

“Yup. My hands are numb now too. Maybe this is the hypothermia.” he said despite the big grin on his lips as he looked in his bag with a few paintballs still left. “Let’s go, Park?”

As expected, the taller stood up from the other side. But before he could, a ball of paint had already been smashed right on his head. He stilled when he felt the paint trailing all over his head while Baekhyun laughed breathlessly on the floor in front of him. Chanyeol cussed a few times, though ended up smiling at the sight.

“Shouldn’t have trusted you.” Chanyeol hissed and offered a hand to help him stand up anyway. Baekhyun took this and stood up, declaring that he had won the fight. “Stop laughing. Now I have to wash my hair.”

He wrapped an arm around Baekhyun’s shoulder as they started walking out of the area. Baekhyun was still wiping the corner of his eyes. Now he’s completely oblivious about Chanyeol slipping his other hand in his bag to steal one.

“I won this so easily.”

“I’ll let that slip.” Chanyeol said and looked right on his face with a side grin, “Be grateful you’re really pretty.”

Baekhyun faked a frown when he easily blushed from the smooth compliment. He completely failed to notice the impending doom right above him.

“Wow, you’re re—” _smashed_ and a red paint trailed all over Baekhyun’s head while Chanyeol ran his way back inside, laughing victoriously now that he didn’t have to be the only one to wash his hair. “PARK YOU LITTLE SHIT!”

For the nth time in the day, Baekhyun was wiping the tears on the corner of his eyes after laughing too much. They just finished their dinner in this restaurant Chanyeol picked. They’ve gone to so many places that day but it still felt like it went on so fast. They still had light stain of paint on their hair despite washing it earlier.

Chanyeol made a subtle grin while watching the way Baekhyun’s eyes crinkled, glancing behind the boy’s head where a group of restaurant staffs were walking towards their table.

“Hey,” he mumbled at Baekhyun, “act normally, okay?”

“Huh? Wha—”

_“Happy birthday to you…”_

He flinched from his seat when a bunch of waiters started collectively singing a birthday song while looking at him. Chanyeol silently laughed at the sight of Baekhyun gaping in shock, not knowing what to do. The shorter’s eyes were lightening up upon seeing a plate of chocolate bomb with a birthday candle. He sent Chanyeol a subtle sharp look but smiles nevertheless.

Chanyeol’s smile became a little fonder while watching the boy in front of him, cheeks brightening from the candlelight while he timidly looked at the singing staffs. He didn’t miss the sight of Baekhyun clasping his hands together to make a genuine wish even if it’s not really his birthday.

Another deep breath escaped Chanyeol’s lips.

“Happy birthday, Baekhyunnie!” one of the restaurant employees greeted him enthusiastically. Other customers were also watching them because of the scene, “I hope you enjoy this special treat from us.”

“You look very good together.” they told the two men before finally walking away. Baekhyun caught Chanyeol’s eyes and instead of blushing furiously, they both bursted out laughing.

“Pft—oh my god! What was that?” Baekhyun looked around to make sure no one noticed.

“My acting skills got you a chocolate bomb.” Chanyeol leaned back while grinning, “I told them to add more hot fudge, by the way.”

“You’re terrible, Park.” he shook his head, smiling down at his dream dessert anyway.

“Just think of it as an advanced birthday chocolate bomb. It works the same.” the taller raised a brow while flashing a sly smile, “Actually, we can go back here on your actual birthday. I don’t think they’d remember us.”

Baekhyun didn’t seem to notice the underlying message. He simply laughed again while nodding.

“Or we can say it’s your birthday on my birthday.” that actually sounded perfect.

“But you’d still get the bomb?”

“I’d still get the bomb.”

“I don’t mind.”

“That was really fun…”

The air outside caused their noses to turn red. Baekhyun fixed the thick scarf around his neck as soon as they got in the car, “thanks, Chanyeol.”

“No worries.”

He glanced at him reluctantly, “So… are we going home now?”

The restaurant was near closing time when they left. The staffs they passed by greeted him again but instead of laughing again, both guys simply shared a smile. Baekhyun felt like the whole day passed in a split second. He doesn’t want it to end so soon but here they are, in the car on the way home because most stores around the area are already closing.

“Uhm…” he looked at Chanyeol expectantly, “Is it okay if we drop by at Yonsei first? I forgot something in court from our last practice.”

Baekhyun nodded without having to think twice. At least they’re not going home yet.

“Sure. Isn’t it closed already, though?”

“I don’t think so.” Chanyeol kept a casual expression, “Is it okay if we still check?”

“Of course.” Baekhyun tried not to sound too ecstatic about it, chuckling lightly. “Let’s just hope no one scares us there.”

Chanyeol gave him a side-eye, “You watch too much horror.”

“It’s late and it’s almost winter, Park, you can’t blame me.”

They reached the university twenty minutes after ten. There are a lot of dormitories around so there are still some students walking along the grounds even at this hour. The multi-purpose court area is a bit isolated though, so Baekhyun’s horror paranoia easily kicked in again. He’s hugging himself while looking around the hall they’re walking in, earning him a smile from Chanyeol who’s walking ahead because of his longer legs.

“Are you scared?” he does this thing again— pausing from walking just to check on Baekhyun and wait for him to reach his side. It doesn’t fail to make the shorter’s heart flutter, “Come here, walk closer to me.”

Baekhyun huffed and shook his head, tugging onto the taller’s coat instead.

“No… just let me hold on your coat in case someone drags me out of nowhere.” his lips were buried into his thick scarf so his words were a bit muffled.

Chanyeol chuckled in amusement when Baekhyun clawed on to his clothes, obviously scared. They ended up walking closer, side by side because Baekhyun would keep up with his pace in fear that someone would actually pop up out of nowhere.

When they got nearer to the main door of the court, Chanyeol made him stay where he is.

“I’ll check the door.”

He’s the only one who got closer to check, while Baekhyun uneasily stood on the same spot, looking around like a scared little child. He couldn’t see if the door’s locked, but Chanyeol’s taking a while checking it.

“Chanyeol, quick…” he whined. Baekhyun tried tilting his head to look at the door Chanyeol is currently blocking, “You’re taking so long, is it locked?”

“Nope!” Chanyeol responded after a faint clicking sound. He looked back at Baekhyun with a knowing smile, “Let’s go.”

Baekhyun hesitated when he didn’t see any light from the inside, “But it’s so dark…”

“We’ll turn the lights on, scaredy cat. Come on.” Chanyeol stepped inside and he’s left with no choice but to follow.

He held onto Chanyeol’s coat until the latter finally found the switch of the side lights and heater. It’s still a bit dimmed considering the main lights are probably operated somewhere else, but they can see each other now. Baekhyun can see Chanyeol looking around the whole court while taking his coat off. He’s left with his hoodie, walking towards the rack of balls on the side to get one.

Baekhyun intriguingly raised his brows, still watching the taller on the same spot.

“What are you doing?”

Chanyeol simply smiled at him, standing at the center of the court with a ball on his hand.

“I’ll start here.” he dismissed Baekhyun’s question and went on position, “In or not?”

Baekhyun chuckled in disbelief. But when the basketball captain simply waited for his answer, he slightly rolled his eyes.

“That’s stupid.” he said like it’s an obvious answer to an obvious question, “Of course, _in_ , Yonsei captain.”

Chanyeol threw the ball into the ring and effortlessly shot it. He sent Baekhyun a boyish grin.

“Good guess.” he shrugged while taking a few steps back to get farther from the ring, “How about here?”

Baekhyun can’t believe he’s inside the university gym, in the middle of the night, just to watch Chanyeol do a few three-point shots. Just the two of them.

It’s not like he’s complaining.

“So you’re just here to brag about your playing skills?” Chanyeol simply shrugged at his remark and waited for another answer, _“In.”_

Baekhyun laughed when he did an obviously intentional miss.

 _“Eenk.”_ Chanyeol clicked his tongue while smiling, “Bad guess, but still flattering.”

“Park, what did you forget here?” Baekhyun crossed his arms over his chest. The reason why they’re here doesn’t seem so urgent now compared to how Chanyeol made it sound a while ago.

Chanyeol smiled even without looking at him. He threw another perfect shot in the ring.

“Hmm this, actually.” he answered slyly, “I forgot to practice.”

Baekhyun chuckled again, but he still wouldn’t get the answer he wanted so he called him again.

“Park.”

Chanyeol threw another one before finally looking at him. Baekhyun felt his heart jerking up because of this, but he bravely stared back at the taller while they stood a few meters away from each other.

“You said… in your journal...” Chanyeol took a few steps closer, causing the other to hold his breath briefly. “That sometimes you imagine everyone disappearing while watching me play.” he seriously said, “You said sometimes it feels like it’s just the two of us in the stadium.”

Baekhyun couldn’t speak.

“It’s quite like this, right?” Chanyeol’s lips slightly curved, but his eyes spoke nothing but the truth. “Am I doing a good job making it real for you?”

They’ve been together for the majority of this day but Chanyeol’s effect on him doesn’t cease. Every stolen glances caught, every lingering stare and every word that’s evidently directed to him causes his heart to flutter the same.

This is exactly how he imagined it while writing on every page of that journal. He still can’t believe that every wishful thinking has turned into reality. Thinking about it warms both his heart and eyes.

“Well you’re not… sweaty in your jersey.” Baekhyun breathed out while blinking rapidly, “B-But yes… it’s a lot like this.”

Chanyeol nodded while smiling in satisfaction.

“Good.” he said before catching Baekhyun off guard by throwing him the ball, “Now, don’t be an audience and challenge me, Byun.”

The shorter gasped, “Wait I—!”

Chanyeol sent him a teasing look and ran back to the center of the court, tone testing.

“What, giving up already? Show me what you’ve got, Byun.”

Baekhyun squinted his eyes, dribbling the ball anyway.

“This is dumb, Park.” he psh-ed out loud and tried shooting ball. It went straight into the ring, “OH!”

The petite boy glanced back at the basketball captain with widening eyes, too shocked from the shot he did. With a deep chuckle, Chanyeol took big steps towards him while he’s still laughing in disbelief.

“Yeah! See?” now he grabbed the ball again, “Now give me that.”

Baekhyun tried snatching it back despite being obviously no match against the taller and more skilled player, “That’s unfair!”

“Cry me a river.”

Chanyeol grinned in between bumping against each other just to get the ball.

Baekhyun frowned after Chanyeol scored two consecutive points while he breathlessly ran after him. The taller doesn’t even sweat from it. So being the sneaky bastard that he is, Baekhyun hid a sly grin as he blocked Chanyeol’s way by simply standing too close right in front of him, eyes directed on his face.

This seemed to work when Chanyeol held back, blinking rapidly because of the said action. When Baekhyun finally distracted him by their close proximity and his intense gaze, he skillfully snatched the ball and ran away laughing in victory.

He yelled happily when he shot the ball in the ring again.

“Wow. Okay, you got me there.”

“HAH! Take that!” Baekhyun grinned and threw him the ball once again. Though instead of dribbling, Chanyeol simply held it close to him.

"Nice, nice..." he flashed a small beam, "Let's do another game then, Byun."

He waited for Baekhyun to settle down from his excitement to completely get his attention.

"One pass, one confession." Chanyeol said with a hint of sly smile lingering on his lips. Baekhyun’s expression fell as soon as he figured out what he meant.

"Park..."

"We'll keep the ball running. I confess something, and then you. No questions asked." Chanyeol spoke with certainty, "Whoever speaks last, wins."

Baekhyun nervously laughed, "You're crazy..."

"The winner gets another prize. Very much like your little quizzes, right?" this time, Baekhyun became even more astounded, but Chanyeol continued to speak. "If I win, then more dates. Deal?"

The shorter is speechless. There’s a bit of fear that lingered in his chest while Chanyeol said that. He’s suddenly scared whatever the captain is up to. Whatever he’s about to say, especially.

"Come on, Byun." Chanyeol muttered while staring at the dumbfounded boy, "I've been warming up for this game for so long."

It’s probably because this was the thing he wanted yet also feared the most— a chance to tell the boy he likes what he truly feels. Say it himself while looking straight into his eyes.

It always seemed so scary, but looking at Chanyeol’s determined gaze sparked courage in him too.

"Okay, Chanyeol..." Baekhyun tried to keep his voice from trembling.

The taller nodded.

"Let me start then." he suppressed a smile when he caught Baekhyun anxiously fiddling his hands, "I intentionally left my study materials on our second study session so we can go to dinner instead."

Baekhyun almost complained, but Chanyeol beat him through it by raising his brows and throwing him the ball to keep the game moving.

"You probably know this already…” Baekhyun tried to flash a casual grin but he still gulped in between, “I... I've had a crush on you since my first week at Yonsei."

He chose to say things that were already in his journal. Chanyeol surely knew about it but he still smiled from ear to ear, causing Baekhyun to blush furiously.

"Stop smiling like that."

"Can't help it." Chanyeol said after taking the ball harshly thrown to his chest, "I didn't show up before my final exam because I was self-studying." Baekhyun sent him another sharp look for this, "I was never focused whenever we study together."

Baekhyun badly wanted to react again. He certainly noticed Chanyeol losing his focus during their review but he never thought their sessions were that useless.

He thought of another fact from his journal.

"I used to stare at you whenever you space out, thinking about the possible thoughts running in your mind." Chanyeol grinned again as if he hadn’t known, "Stalker, I know."

"I like where this is going." he cooed and Baekhyun jokingly frowned and threw him the ball, "I paid the maintenance staff to get the keys for this court. It was locked when we arrived."

Baekhyun was surely oblivious not to know that. So that’s why he was taking too long for someone who simply needed to check if the door was locked!

"I knew it was sketchy." he narrowed his eyes before a smile formed on his lips again, "I like it when your ears stick out whenever you wear a cap."

Chanyeol didn’t even look offended by this and offered his palms for Baekhyun to throw the ball again. He looked like he’s too eager to confess about the next one.

"I paid the other three students not to choose you during that tutor orientation.” he shrugged tauntingly even when the shorter’s eyes began widening in disbelief.

“Wha—”

“I was never bad at Economics, Baek... I'm actually kinda good at it." he said unapologetically. Baekhyun gasped from the revelation; so that’s why those students didn’t even bother paying attention to him! There he was, thinking he looked too dumb to them when in fact they were bribed!

Damn Park Chanyeol.

"You scam!" he stomped a foot with a huge frown on his face, "Were you mocking me when I was teaching you?!"

Chanyeol grinned, "Oops, no questions for a response."

"Fine." he snorted, coming up with another confession when the ball came back to him. "I used to sit outside the room after Business Math because you're taking Constitution in the next room."

The taller isn’t as reactive as he is but his little smiles are too obvious.

"I've read your journal twice before giving it back to you."

"Asshat." Baekhyun mumbled in annoyance that earned him an airy laughter. The shorter slightly panicked when nothing else followed in his mind, "What else... I think you know everything by now!"

"Are you giving up?"

Baekhyun shook his head when he saw the same courage on Chanyeol’s face. He obviously still has a lot to say so he doesn’t want to remain standing here while combusting on every upcoming confession.

He resorted into something that wasn’t directly written on his journal.

"No." he gulped, "I-I used to get jealous of Sooyoung a lot..."

"Mm-hmm." Chanyeol hummed, appearing a little more serious. "I used to think you were dating Yeri."

"That is absurd." Baekhyun frowned upon receiving the ball but the taller simply shrugged. He took another deep breath before continuing, "Your voice is... how do I say, one of my favorite things... about you."

Chanyeol took the ball and tilted his head to stare at his face intently.

"I..." he mumbled with a smile, "love it when your cheeks brighten whenever you smile so big. It makes me really happy."

This was the last straw to stop Baekhyun. He realized he doesn’t have anything else to confess. Or at least there’s nothing else he can directly say to Chanyeol without being scared.

"Given up?" he nodded when Chanyeol asked, hoping there’s nothing more from him too. But the basketball captain simply offered his hands to get the ball again, "Keep the ball moving, Byun, cause I have a lot more to say."

Baekhyun blinked before passing him the ball again. Chanyeol didn’t waste a second as he proceeded to another confession, as if postponing it would only take his courage away.

"Have I mentioned how I think your voice is the best thing ever?" he told Baekhyun, gulping in between a pause. "And that I've been a big fan of it for years now, sending you nothing but thumbs up because I couldn't simply form proper words after hearing you sing?"

Baekhyun stared at him, stunned. A name instantly entered his mind and he knew he’s not wrong.

"Toben..."

Chanyeol smiled before continuing.

"And that when I figured out that my internet crush is the introverted transferee, I badly wanted to walk up to you and ask you out." he chuckled while remembering his own silliness, " _'Hey, I'm your avid follower under the alias of my dog's name.'_ Imagine that."

The captain’s voice sounded so firm, but some words still came out shakily. Baekhyun couldn’t even believe he’s seeing Chanyeol so nervous in front of him. _Because of him._

Chanyeol then looked into Baekhyun’s orbs that were still staring at him in disbelief. Every next word genuinely escaped his lips as if they’ve always been meant to be said and heard, for the longest time.

"When I got to know you better, I've come to realize that you're so much more than your angelic voice. That you're actually one of the most genuine people I knew. And I... basically lost my shit when I found that journal and knowing that you're crushing on... me." Baekhyun swallowed hard while listening intently, "Still sorry about stealing that, by the way. But I... just couldn't believe it. I knew I had to do something, no matter how dumb it all came out."

Chanyeol took another step towards the boy who’s looking at him, pretty eyes glazed. The ball got dropped to the floor, he finally came to his last confession.

“I really, really like you, Baekhyun.” he declared with the most courage he had to exert, “Even… more than that, I think. But I don’t want to make you panic… or anything.”

A ragged breath had to escape Baekhyun’s lips, staring at the man of his dreams telling him the exact same things he never had the courage to admit.

Chanyeol sighed in relief, as if he had been keeping it in for so long that he could finally breathe now. His eyes lightened up even if Baekhyun remained speechless.

"I'm sorry if I said a lot." he said even if he didn’t even look sorry at all, "I just had to let it out now. I always feel like combusting every time you're around and I was worried I'll mess it up again. I don't wanna mess up this one." he added firmly.

Baekhyun still couldn’t find the right words, but he tried opening his mouth to give Chanyeol an answer.

"I-I..."

"You don't have to say anything about it." Chanyeol assured him with a gentle smile, "I just want to officially confess... you have all the time to think about it."

Baekhyun took this advice well, because there was really nothing he can respond with. How was he supposed to react about his long-time crush basically having feelings for him, too? Even longer than anyone could expect?

The shorter cleared his throat instead.

"Can we a-ask questions now?"

Chanyeol nodded, "Sure."

"How long... have you known I'm..." he couldn’t even finish his words now.

"Just this semester." Chanyeol chuckled, slightly abashed by the thought. "But I've always noticed your lips... _uh_ , I mean the resemblance with B. I just confirmed it when I heard you speaking to Jongin."

Even hearing him say ‘B’ sent him so many feelings, too. Baekhyun never thought anyone would be so attentive to compare that. Even Yeri didn’t notice that. She simply found out after sneaking in while Baekhyun scrolled through his channel in public. He doubts if they’re still friends now if she never knew.

Chanyeol appeared so amused by simply watching the other wander in deep thoughts.

"Now can I ask one, too?" Baekhyun looked at him, "What was the meaning of the asterisks in your journal related to me?" it’s crazy to see how Baekhyun’s face instantly turned into a light shade of red, "Something about... what you want to do."

The shorter firmly shook his head.

"Nothing."

Chanyeol smirked knowingly, "Come on, Byun. We're having confessions now, anyway!"

Baekhyun remembered sobbing himself to sleep because of so much embarrassment that time his journal was in Chanyeol’s possession. Those asterisked words were the ones that bothered his life the most. It was so embarrassing.

"I don't want to answer." he glared when Chanyeol’s smile became even more devious, "And no, Park, it's not what you're thinking right now."

"What am I thinking?" Chanyeol challenged but simply got another sharp look as a response, "I'll know it one day."

Baekhyun didn’t answer anymore and silence enveloped them once again. He stared on the ground when he felt Chanyeol’s gaze still on his face.

"Chanyeol..." he started off and glanced up, "thank you for telling me... all of this. It means a lot."

"It means a lot to me, too." Chanyeol mumbled back with a genuine smile.

Baekhyun wanted to give him an answer now, even just something to hold onto. They both knew where it had to end up to, anyway.

"I-I'll think about it..."

Chanyeol chuckled reassuringly, "Take your time."

In the midst of it, the few lights that allowed them to look at each other died, making everything around pitch black. Normally, Baekhyun would scream in fear but now he’s too preoccupied that he barely even reacted.

"Shit." he heard Chanyeol cuss, "I forgot my payment was good for only a few minutes."

Baekhyun took this chance to finally let out the biggest smile he’s been suppressing. He fought the urge to squeal along with it too, reminding himself that Chanyeol’s still there, and that he told him he’d think about it. If he did that, then he obviously didn’t need to.

He knew he needed to wait for a little while. He already had a perfect time in mind.

"Let's go, Baek? They're turning off all the generators soon. And it's late." he felt a gentle tap on his arm, but Baekhyun held his hand to make it seem like he’s scared and he needed a guide. They didn’t need to see each other to picture each other’s faces while going out of the gym hand in hand.

"Chanyeol?" Baekhyun spoke while they made their way out with a small phone flashlight.

"Yup?"

Baekhyun gulped before continuing.

"Your upcoming Championship game with SNU..." he said that slowed Chanyeol down for a bit, "W-Win that one."

"Baek?" he asked again but the shorter simply gripped his hand firmer.

"Win that one and I'll give you an answer." he mumbled.

"Got it." Chanyeol looked at him even if he could only make out his silhouette from the dark, "Speaking of victory, I gotta claim that prize from that little confession game. Sorry Byun."

"You think I mind?" Baekhyun chuckled heartily, "Maybe you forgot who's the longer stalker between the both of us?"

"I don't think so, B_hundred." the taller responded confidently, "I'm aware it's me."

—

“I need to go now!” he waved his beautiful hand in front of the camera, “I hope you guys enjoyed that live cover!”

Baekhyun beamed brightly while scrolling through the comments on his latest cover. All of it were positive and encouraging again, some still convincing him to show his face. Before, that kind of comments made him a bit uncomfortable but now he’d gotten used to it. People will always be curious; he can’t take that fact away.

He smiled bigger when a new text arrived.

from: park

_Wow, I think that’s my favorite song in the world._

He started typing a reply when another one came again.

from: park

_Is someone trying to motivate me before the game???_

Baekhyun bit his lip while grinning from ear to ear. It was surely intentional. He’s been planning to cover Chanyeol’s favorite song for a while now but today was definitely the perfect opportunity.

It’s his final game today.

Despite the fear still lingering in his chest, Baekhyun mostly looks forward to it. He’s not waiting any longer.

****toben ∙ 16:28** **

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

It’s crazy how a certain user that simply intrigued him before is the one sending him butterflies now with his usual multiple hearts in the comment section. He shifted to lay on his side while still smiling at his phone.

to: park

_Is it? Well… purely coincidental._

Not a second passed and another text eagerly arrived again.

from: park

_Can I call? I want to hear your voice._

Baekhyun wanted to. He wanted to hear his voice too after not seeing each other for days because of the team captain’s nonstop practice. But then he also kept his patience. He wouldn’t ruin his own plan.

to: park

_Nope. Focus on that practice, Park. You have a big game tonight._

from: park

_I’ll win that one anyway. I have a prize to claim._

Baekhyun smiled, perfectly picturing the other snorting at his screen. _You sure do._

to: park

_Don’t be overconfident. You easily get distracted nowadays._

After continuous dates, they’ve really become too comfortable with each other. Sometimes, Baekhyun still refuses to believe this is the same guy he couldn’t even look straight into the eyes without feeling like fainting. Chanyeol still affects him the same, but now he doesn’t have to worry about making it obvious. They both don’t.

from: park

_Hmm. And who’s to be blamed???_

As usual, he’s halfway through his response and Chanyeol impatiently sent him another message.

from: park

_Are you on your way to the stadium now? You better be there later okay_

Baekhyun stared at the said text, gently smiling before texting back.

to: park

_Of course, I’ll be there. Good luck!_

He sat up from his bed, looking at the clothes he already prepared before going to the stadium. His phone beeped one more time.

from: park

 _Aaaah._ ♥♥♥

_See you, Baekhyunnie._

The side of Baekhyun’s lips curled up, putting his phone down to finally get dressed. _You will, Park._

After preparing, Baekhyun got everything else he needed to bring and came down from his room when he’s good to go. He stopped at the end of the stairs upon seeing his mother in the living room. She’s wearing a dress and light makeup.

“Mom?” he’s even more intrigued as he looked at his father who came out of the kitchen, “Are you guys going somewhere?”

His mother sheepishly laughed while his father simply gave him a little smile.

“Ah… we’ll be going out for dinner, Baek.” his mother answered for the both of them. They didn’t fail to notice the way their child’s eyes lightened up from hearing it.

“Really?” he smiled big, “Wow! A weekend date, huh?”

It was the first time in so long that his parents went out on a date. It’s been rough for their family for the past few months and nothing makes Baekhyun happier than seeing them slowly patching things up. He’s really, really happy.

“You’re going out too, right? Do you want us to bring you something later?” his mother asked as he walked towards them to say goodbye.

“Nope! I’ll eat outside. You guys have fun!” he beamed happily while kissing them both on the cheeks, “Love you Mom, Dad.”

“Love you honey.”

Baekhyun got out of the house with the brightest smile. His day hasn’t ended yet but everything has gone into place. It’s still about to get better.

He arrived at the stadium just in time for the audience to go in. As usual, he waited for everyone to settle down before going to his own seat. He still had to do something before sitting. That being said, he saw one of the commentators glance towards his way.

The crowd has never been this intense. Understandable since this is the final game between the two big universities. People are wearing their respective team’s colors, some even took it a notch higher by wearing face paint. The audience is already chanting their own cheers too. Baekhyun smiled at the overall energy of the place. Chanyeol will surely be more motivated once he sees the overflowing support for him and the team.

“Stadium is packed!” the commentators started off and earned a louder shout, “Tonight, we’re in our final game between Yonsei and SNU!”

“A tough one. People are anticipating who will bring the trophy home tonight.”

SNU has a fair amount of audience to back them up but Yonsei students are just on another level tonight. Baekhyun could see everyone’s hunger for that back-to-back win. They even overpowered the others with their university chant.

_“Ha neul eul Nal-eu-neun Doksuri!”_

The stadium became more heated when the game started and both teams were started to get introduced. Every player earned loud cheers from both sides. Baekhyun kept his eyes locked on the entrance where Yonsei’s team is coming out, looking out for his player.

“PARK CHANYEOL!” he let the crowd do the job of hyping the team captain up. Baekhyun simply watched him with an applause and occasional coos, even when the big smile on his handsome face made him want to do so much better.

To sum it up, the crowd didn’t calm down the whole ten minutes of the first quarter. Both teams were clearly mad for that win. Chanyeol managed to point consecutively and maybe even pissing some of the players from the other team because of his obvious good mood in what’s supposed to be a heated game. Nonetheless, he didn’t chill and vigorously took that first quarter for Yonsei.

“Yonsei got the first quarter!” the commentator yelled in the middle of the crowd wilding up, “As expected—courtesy of Park who has the biggest score as of now!”

“Yonsei’s center and captain is all smiles today.” the other said with an intriguing tone, “Looking very chill but you can see he’s driven to get that win!”

Baekhyun looked up at the screen above where the camera was focused on the sweaty Chanyeol. He’s panting on the bleachers while their coach spoke to them, but anyone could notice the frequent look he made around the stadium. The boy smiled on his seat, not making any effort to be found.

“As always!” the commentators said before the start of the next quarter, “But we’re not going to underestimate SNU with that gap!”

Second quarter was much more ferocious. SNU was definitely not giving anyone an easy game, scoring consecutively this time. Baekhyun clasped his hands when he saw the frustration slowly etching on Chanyeol’s face.

“Lee Chaesol managed to throw a three-point shot!” the crowd roared when the quarter finished, “Second quarter goes to SNU!”

Baekhyun found himself too focused on Chanyeol’s serious face. The captain looked so worried while talking to the team on the side.

The audience barely calmed down on the start of halftime. The same fun segment started and everyone finally cooled down when the camera began rolling.

“Our first fun cam star is…” Baekhyun pursed his lips when he saw his face on the big screen, “this cutie again!”

The crowd cheered when they recognized him. Unlike before, Baekhyun simply smiled in response, too casually even. After looking at himself, he looked back at the bleachers and saw Chanyeol staring at the same screen with a big grin coming back on his face. _There you go._

“Oh look at that!” the camera even focused on him longer, “Park really got himself an avid fan.”

“He’s done with the cutie pajamas now, huh?” Baekhyun suppressed a smile when the screen showed his hoodie, “Wait… ooooh, are we seeing Park’s jersey number on that?”

“From the cute confessions to actually wearing his crush’s number on his hoodie!” some girls and boys were obviously rolling their eyes. A lot of them had done something better. But then Baekhyun had a different goal and he’s clearly getting it.

“Park, you better give this fanboy an autograph.”

Chanyeol’s eyes travelled from the screen to where he actually sits. Baekhyun faked an innocent smile even when the same drive found its way to the team captain’s eyes, reminding him of something now that he found what he’s been looking for.

He was _mad_ mad. Baekhyun could see the other team’s players flaring up on the court after Yonsei’s captain scored continuous points. Chanyeol played without remorse. He’s bringing himself and the whole team closer to that victory again and no one could stop him.

“Yonsei leads 3rd quarter again!” the audience cheered louder when Yonsei’s players shared an embrace in the middle of the court as soon as third quarter ended, “The whole stadium won’t calm down!”

“One more quarter and we’ll have an overall champion!”

Baekhyun was confident that they’d get this. But even so, the last few minutes of fourth quarter and the whole game itself had him trembling. His breath shortened every time the gap became too close, or if someone missed a shot. Every look at Chanyeol made him feel like his life depended on this game.

Technically, it does, right? Something huge depends on this victory so by all means, Chanyeol should get it.

_Please, let them have it._

“YONSEI SNATCHED THE FINAL QUARTER TOO!”

“WE HAVE AN INTERCOLLEGIATE OVERALL CHAMPION!”

Chanyeol got wrapped in a bunch of tight hugs, one with the whole team in it. Soon enough, he’s lifted into the air like their previous wins.

He did it.

The crowd was celebrating in victory while the medals and a huge trophy got handed to them. The basketball captain tried to look at a certain seat despite the falling confetti making it a bit more difficult. He accepted more hugs and handshakes while looking around to spot the same person, but he’s not there.

Even in the middle of congratulatory moment, Chanyeol desperately looked for the team attendant he left his phone with. His heart jumped upon seeing a message received a few minutes ago.

_I’m near the locker rooms._

He would most definitely get in trouble for this, but Chanyeol took the medal off his neck and left it with the same attendant. He squeezed through the sea of people without thinking twice.

“Cap, where are you going?” Jongin caught his shoulder, a hint of smile still on his face.

“Jongin, tell coach I’ll be back okay?” Chanyeol huffed without stopping.

“But—”

“This will be quick!” he yelled at the point-guard, “I’ll be back!”

He gained a few glances on his way to the stadium’s isolated locker rooms. The only time he felt safe was when he finally reached the said place with no other people around him. No one but the person he’s been wanting to see.

“Baekhyunnie?”

Baekhyun gasped in shock when he suddenly spoke behind. The boy looked a little more fidgety than usual. He tried to smile at Chanyeol even if he’s anxiously stiffening on the same spot.

It just felt like the confession night all over again.

“My number looks good on you.” Chanyeol told him with a grin.

“Does it?” Baekhyun tried not to stutter, remembering the words he’s been practicing. “Everyone’s out there, celebrating…”

“I looked for you as soon as the game ended.” Chanyeol simply shrugged even the shorter simply stared at him again, “Why are you here?”

Baekhyun stayed on the same spot, breathing through his lips. The muffled sound of cheers outside seemed to make him even more nervous. But it’s now or never.

The captain found it bizarre, taking a step closer.

“Baek, why are y—”

“Just give me a second, Park…” he paused when Baekhyun firmly ordered him. The latter settled his gaze on his face while speaking breathlessly, “Just…stay there.”

“O-Okay…” Chanyeol blinked in awe, standing still. “Okay.”

Baekhyun stared at Chanyeol’s face for a little more, chest heaving as he gathered all the courage he needed. Right then, he took big steps towards the basketball captain and placed a long and firm kiss on his lips.

“Wha—” Chanyeol looked at him, eyes widened when he briefly pulled away.

“Should I ask you now then… as the prize?” Baekhyun smiled even if the taller shook his head frantically, “Park, can I—”

“Can I be your boyfriend, Byun?”

He interrupted even if he’s obviously still stunned with that kiss. He couldn’t bear to be asked that one damn question.

Chanyeol waited for so long for this guy to be his. He earned the right to be asking that.

“Always so competitive, aren’t you?” Baekhyun mumbled after laughing. He pulled Chanyeol’s jersey towards the nearby shower room, “Come here.”

The room was empty, amidst of the celebration still going on outside. Baekhyun slid the curtain close before kissing him again, in a whole different level this time.

“Wow, okay this is hot.” Chanyeol gasped in between making out, “Is that a yes, then?”

“We’re doing the asterisks now, what do you think?”

“Wait— this is the asterisks?” the taller pulled away to look at him in disbelief, _“Making out?_ ”

Baekhyun flashed a cheeky grin while an arm wrapped around his waist to pull him closer.

“I told you it wasn’t what you were thinking.” he tauntingly responded and leaned in once again, “Perv.”

“How many games should I win before we get there, then?” Chanyeol’s whining got silenced by another hot kiss on his lips, “Fuck— forget it, let’s make out.”

The shorter wrapped both his arms around his neck, parting his lips to give him more access. He could feel Chanyeol smiling against his lips, then he slightly pulled away to look straight into Baekhyun’s glazed eyes.

“Baekhyun, I…” he started off and Baekhyun’s heart went frantic again. He tried to stop whatever he’s about to say by shaking his head but Chanyeol flashed another teasing smile instead.

“No, no… no. Don’t say it here, it’s not romantic…”

“I’m in love with you.” Baekhyun groaned, but his heart felt like jumping off his chest because of too much happiness. “I love you.”

“Park, we’re in a locker room…” he complained to the taller even when his eyes were tearing up, “Screw you. It’s not how I imagined…”

Chanyeol simply chuckled before placing a few quick kisses on his lips again.

“I can say it again and again, anyway.” he said and placed a much longer one, “I can even have them announce it outside, if you want. More journal entry worthy.”

“Shut up…” Baekhyun grinned while their noses touched, “Kiss me again.”

And so he did. They locked lips inside an empty shower room until they’re breathless. Until they both got to express the feelings they’ve been holding in for so long. Baekhyun was the first one to stop when he heard the cheers slowly fading from the outside. He realized they’ve been here for a while now. Much longer than he planned.

“We should go.” he said even when the captain’s plump lips still looked inviting, “Someone might enter anytime soon.”

They sneaked out of the shower room cautiously. Fortunately, people were still outside even if it’s probably a wonder why one of the biggest stars of the night suddenly disappeared.

Chanyeol didn’t hesitate holding his hand on their way out, but Baekhyun slowed down while looking at their intertwined fingers.

“Chanyeol…”

The taller paused to look at him, “Hmm?”

After checking if there’s anyone around, Baekhyun blinked a few times.

“Can we… not tell anyone about us, first?” he wasn’t wrong when he saw how Chanyeol’s brows furrowed. “I mean… m-maybe some that we can trust but not everyone?”

“Why?”

He didn’t know how to explain it better, but he tried. He knew Chanyeol would understand.

“I just… don’t really like attention. I don’t like people looking or talking about us all the time. I think it’s for the sake of us both.” he paused before uneasily looking away, “And if they dig up everything about me, they might…”

Chanyeol’s eyes lingered on him when he slowly pulled his hand away.

“Okay…” he nodded, “until when?”

Now that Baekhyun is asked, he realized he hadn’t thought about it either.

“We’ll figure it out…” he gave his serious boyfriend a reassuring smile, “But now, you have to go back in court first.”

“You’re coming to the victory party, right?”

“Sure.” Baekhyun got interrupted from walking when another quick kiss was planted on his lips, “Wha—”

Chanyeol smiled apologetically, “I can’t kiss you for the next few hours. I just had to.”

“I’ll forgive you for that.” he said as they walked back to the court, looking too casual like they weren’t making out in that shower room and officiated things.

Baekhyun was lucky enough to be approached by Jongin while Chanyeol had to interact with other people. He stood on the side and simply smiled back whenever Chanyeol looked around to make sure he’s still there. Some girls walked up to congratulate him, making him look at Baekhyun every now and then but his cute boyfriend would simply smile reassuringly.

The press photos went on while Baekhyun waited on the side. Right then, his phone vibrated from his pocket.

“Mom? Dinner’s done?” his smile instantly faltered upon hearing sobs from the other line, “Mom… are you crying?”

His mother told him about what happened, just when he thought everything was fine.

“I-I…” he found it hard to respond when he heard the same old scenario again, “Okay. I’ll be there. Wait for me, okay?”

Baekhyun stood near the other fans to be subtler. Chanyeol instantly saw him and walked to where he is right after taking another picture.

“Chanyeol... I need to go home.” he flashed a guilty smile when Chanyeol got taken aback.

“Now?” the dismay was evident from his tone, “We’re just about to go to the party…”

“My Mom needs me.” he sadly smiled at the taller, fighting the urge to touch his cheek. “I’m really sorry… I wanted to go, I swear.”

“It’s okay, Baek.” Chanyeol assured him with a little smile, “Is she alright? Let me drive you home.”

“No. Everyone is expecting you there now.” Baekhyun shook his head, voice getting lower when other students got closer to them for their turn. “She’ll be fine. I just need to be there for her now.”

“Okay…” Chanyeol looked like he badly wanted to embrace him again but for now, they could only share a smile.

“I’ll just… text you, then?”

“Later.” he left and ended up taking the bus home again, worried about certain things that got in the way of what was supposed to be a perfect day.

That night, just when Baekhyun thought he can completely be happy for once, the sight of his parents going back to zero just proved him otherwise. He realized he can’t really have the good things all at once and it sucked. Big time.

—

"Okay, uh..." Baekhyun shifted sideways to face his boyfriend who’s parking the car outside the gate, "never mention anything about the journal..."

"Yup."

"Uh... don't mention anything about me going to your apartment sometimes."

"Most of the time." the taller corrected.

"Don't tell them anything about us kissing... or making out..." he said like it’s a crucial detail. Chanyeol grinned, "don't. Okay?"

He anxiously exhaled while glancing up, thinking if he forgot something else.

"Don’t say we’re frequently going out on dates. Just say... uh, some Saturdays?"

"Mmkay." Chanyeol nodded, "Am I your boyfriend?"

"No." Baekhyun answered mindlessly, "U-Uh... say that we're just hanging out sometimes and... uh..."

Chanyeol intently looked at him, "Are we in love?"

It was meant to be a joke so the other would lighten up but it only seemed to do worse. Baekhyun got even more pressured all of a sudden. He might’ve overlooked a lot of details and now he’s terribly nervous.

"I-I don't know... if they ask then... then..." he stuttered and rapidly blinked but a warm hand gripped his own.

"Hey, hey B. Look at me." Chanyeol leaned a little to catch his uneasy gaze, smile reassuring. "We don't have to do this if you still can't, okay?"

Still worried, Baekhyun shook his head and let out another deep sigh.

"No... I want to..." he looked down, "I-I'm just really scared that it'll go wrong..."

Chanyeol smiled lovingly while watching his troubled face. It was amusing to see Baekhyun getting more nervous than him about meeting his parents, but now he just simply wants to do everything to make him feel better.

"I'm not going to mess this up for you, promise." Baekhyun gently moved against his hand caressing his hair, "I won't even speak if you say so."

"Don't. They won't give you barbecue..." the shorter mumbled that made him chortle. Baekhyun managed to smile again despite still looking a bit unsettled, "I just never introduced anyone to my parents before so I'm really... nervous."

"Me too." that was hard to believe so Baekhyun simply pouted. Chanyeol beamed before gently kissing him on the cheek, "I'll try my best to make them like me."

Baekhyun just had to stare at the face smiling at him, feeling all giddy again. He couldn’t believe they’ve been together for a while now but Chanyeol can still make him feel like a shy fanboy.

"Just be yourself." he told him sincerely, "You're very likeable, babe."

Another kiss was placed on his lips this time.

"Then you don’t have anything to worry about." Chanyeol booped his nose, "Shall we?"

The two guys entered the gate, hearing the noise and laughter of the visitors from the back of the house. Baekhyun’s breath was already shortening even without talking to his parents yet. His face lacked color when her voice became audible from the kitchen.

Chanyeol held the wine he bought and gave his boyfriend another motivating smile.

"Baekhyun-ah!" his mother didn’t immediately notice Chanyeol, too focused on cooking. She simply acknowledged the presence of her son who went out of the house with the lamest excuse this morning, "What took you so long? Your cousins are grilling outside now."

Baekhyun completely had his mouth shut in nervousness when his father came down from the stairs, slowing down upon seeing a new face beside his son. The latter completely stiffened when his mother also came out of the kitchen after the lack of response.

"Oh..." she blinked a few times, gently wiping her hands on her apron while looking at Chanyeol.

"Good afternoon, Mrs. Byun..." Chanyeol started off when the boy beside him obviously wasn’t planning to do the introduction. He bowed at them politely, "Mr. Byun."

Baekhyun was still rigid on the same spot.

The taller proceeded to hand the bottle of wine to Baekhyun’s father, "Happy birthday, Sir."

"Oh, thank you..."

An awkward silence surrounded them and the voices of their visitors outside became more prominent. His parents looked at the two boys expectantly, a hint of smile tracing on his Mom’s lips.

"Baek...?"

Baekhyun gulped when they all waited for him to say something.

"Mom, Dad... t-this is Chanyeol." he mumbled shakily. God, he’s going to mess this up.

The two nodded at this, waiting for further explanation. When their son kept mummed again, Mrs. Byun took initiative and timidly smiled at Chanyeol.

"Are... you a friend of Baekhyun?"

"Ah, ye—"

"H-He's actually my boyfriend, Mom... Dad." Baekhyun blurted out nervously, earning him a look from Chanyeol. "He's the o-one I'm with whenever I'm out..."

No one spoke again right after that. Baekhyun had never wanted to slap himself this much. He managed to snitch two things he instructed Chanyeol not to say, but he couldn’t control his mouth.

His usually quiet father asked the question this time.

"How long have you been together then?"

Chanyeol parted his lips.

"Jus—"

"More than four months... b-but we just kiss, no sex... p-promise." Baekhyun cussed under his breath after rambling another embarrassing answer, while Chanyeol stared on the floor with widening eyes.

Now his parents looked equally stunned by the direct revelation. Baekhyun could only force a sheepish smile even if he badly wanted to slump on the floor in so much humiliation.

"Okay..." his mother cleared her throat and called his cousin outside, "Hayoon-ah! Can you guys tell your uncles and aunts to stay there with you for a while? We'll go out later."

_Oh god, what have I done?_

"We wanna know more about you, Chanyeol. Let's eat here first." Mrs. Byun smiled at Chanyeol before raising her brows at her son, "Baekhyun, let him sit, please. I'll get some plates."

Both of them left for a while to get the food prepared. His father had gone outside to check on his visitors. When the two were left seated in the dining room, Chanyeol finally looked at the man beside him who’s still terribly ashamed.

"Babe, what was that?"

"S-Sorry... I'll shut up." Baekhyun looked at him guiltily.

The taller reached for his hand on his lap to grip it firmly before his parents come back again, "Don't be so tensed, okay?"

 _Don’t be so tensed,_ yeah right. So easy to say.

Baekhyun couldn’t even swallow his food properly, catching his parents looking at them every now and then. Once they all settled around the small table, he didn’t feel any less rigid no matter how Chanyeol sent so many reassuring smiles towards his way. Baekhyun wants one thing and that’s for his parents to have a good impression of him. Baekhyun wants to assure them that he’s the good match for him, especially since he’s his first boyfriend too.

And maybe stop looking so uptight so that Baekhyun can finally breathe in relief.

"Are you studying at Yonsei too, Chanyeol?" he gripped his spoon tighter when his mother proceeded to the questions in between eating.

"Ye—"

"Yup! He is. He's a Political Science major. He plans to take Law after, Mom."

Chanyeol could only smile awkwardly, giving Baekhyun a side-glance for answering for him again.

"Hmm wow." he gulped when both his parents seemed impressed, "So do you live with your parents too?"

"Uh—"

"Nope. He lives in an apartment near the university. His parents are in Hannam. Chanyeol is really independent, right?" Baekhyun wasn’t even focused on eating anymore, as if he was simply standing by to catch the next questions coming. Chanyeol gripped his thigh under the table. This is the first time he saw Baekhyun this nervous, only by the thought of his parents possibly disliking his boyfriend.

While Mr. Byun looked at his obviously anxious son, suppressing a smile.

Baekhyun’s mother raised a brow in intrigue, staring at Chanyeol so that her son would know whom the question was directed to.

"Okay... so how did you meet our Baekhyun?"

"Well, we—"

"He's Yonsei's basketball team captain! He's really good at sports and really smart so I had a crush on him, he knew, then viola." the three of them look at Baekhyun in disbelief but the latter simply forced a chuckle, "F-Funny, right?"

"Do you... ever answer for yourself, Chanyeol?"

"Ah...” both boys laughed nervously, and Chanyeol honestly thought he could finally speak this time. “I'm—"

"He does!" Mr. and Mrs. Byun couldn’t help laughing now. Chanyeol shyly smiled and had finally given up on trying to get his boyfriend to shut up.

Baekhyun heaved heavily in front of them, obviously panicked. He tried to smile but his voice cracked as he continued.

"He does... b-but not just now... cause I'm answering for him... cause I-I'm really nervous... and I kinda love him so much and I w-want you to... like him too." he rambled shakily.

They all fell speechless. His Mom smiled fondly while his father simply gazed at him because of this.

Mrs. Byun hummed in awe, "Oh, honey..."

Chanyeol looked at the boy beside him who’s sheepishly smiling down at his food after what he said.

"Sorry... I'll let him speak now." Baekhyun blinked rapidly before tapping Chanyeol,"Go on, babe..."

"Uhm—"

"Can I just say one more?"

"Chanyeol." Mr. Byun called on his way out to the back door, "Let's grill some barbecue outside."

With another gulp, Baekhyun turned to look at Chanyeol who seemed thrilled about it. Not just for the barbecues, for sure. The shorter tried tagging along but his mother made sure he lets them.

"Stay here and help me with the dressing, Baek?"

Chanyeol reassuringly grinned at the boy before going out. Baekhyun didn’t even notice he’s been watching them through the kitchen window, trying to get some signs from their expressions if everything was going just fine.

"Such a sweet young man." he turned to his Mom who spoke beside him. She was looking at the same people, too. "Your Dad seems to like him too."

She smiled at her son before tilting her head towards the same direction again.

"Look at them."

Baekhyun did. Both men were facing the opposite side so he could barely see their faces, except whenever Chanyeol glanced sideways. He could see his smile from where he was and it’s more than enough to relieve Baekhyun.

"Are you not mad at me, Mom?" he asked after a brief silence, "For suddenly bringing someone here... as boyfriend... or..."

Mrs. Byun sighed.

"Sweetheart..." she shifted sideways to face him. She didn’t like the distress all over her son’s face for something unnecessary, "you know your preferences are never an issue to us."

"But we never... really talk about it that much." Baekhyun mumbled.

"We'll talk about it if you want to talk about it." she said while looking all over Baekhyun’s beautiful face, "But what matters to me the most is your happiness, honey. My heart is where yours is."

Baekhyun finally cracked a genuine smile. It means so much hearing this from them once in a while.

"Chanyeol is a good man, I can tell." Mrs. Byun still had this little smile while watching the men having their own conversation outside, "The way he looks at you... some people don't get to experience that, not even me."

She said it so casually, but it hit a certain spot in Baekhyun’s chest. His gaze lingered on his Mom before it travelled back to Chanyeol, her next few words sounded so much more meaningful just with the sight of him.

"You're both lucky."

They decided to let Chanyeol go before it got late. In a span of a few hours, the man managed to charm Baekhyun’s parents and relatives in the celebration. The latter couldn’t believe he had to answer a lot of absurd questions just because they were that curious about his boyfriend. Chanyeol saved him a lot of times and did most of the explaining when the shorter began frowning every time.

His mother sent them outside. Baekhyun didn’t see his father since he quietly came up to their room in the middle of the celebration. For some reason, he noticed it more than his Mom did. Or at least that’s what she wanted him to think.

"Wow, I had such a great day." Chanyeol exhaled deeply, still sporting a big smile as he sat in his car. "I can't believe we were worrying about this earlier."

Baekhyun simply stood outside his window, resting his arms on the door.

"I know." Baekhyun could finally say it now, "My parents love you."

His boyfriend grinned proudly.

"Must be the Byun genes." he said that earned him a light pinch.

Chanyeol drooped down to give him a quick kiss. Baekhyun smiled at this before blinking when he remembered something.

"Hey, Chanyeol..." he started off gently, "did my Dad mention anything about my Mom? Or their problem?"

As expected, Chanyeol looked rather confused.

"No..." he shook his head, "Sorry, Baek. I don't think he mentioned anything about that."

Baekhyun slightly gulped as he forced a smile.

"I just... he wouldn't talk to me about it, you know?" he answered while looking abashed, "It seems like he'd tell you about it."

Despite his smile, Chanyeol can easily see through him. He can tell how much this matters to Baekhyun.

"Do you want me to?" he offered, "Try and talk to your Dad?"

Baekhyun briefly paused before shaking his head firmly. This should be his family’s problem alone. He shouldn’t even have mentioned this to him.

"No... you shouldn't even be dragged to this." he told Chanyeol, "They'll be fine. They were in good terms today, anyway."

"For sure." Chanyeol agreed, loosely basing from the situation he witnessed today. He didn’t want Baekhyun to worry about it so much too, “It's gonna be fine, babe."

Baekhyun decided to take this advice, telling himself that it should be a fine day and nothing should be spoiling it.

"So by the way... about that varsity party." he paused when Chanyeol raised a brow, "I don't think I should go..."

"But why? We won't be too obvious." Chanyeol sounded dismayed. He tried insisting, "Jongin's kinda expecting us."

Baekhyun sighed.

"Still, I don't wanna risk it. Someone might notice our little interactions, that's going to be messy."

"Not if we'll be careful, like how we always are in the campus?"

Chanyeol tried to smile pleadingly but Baekhyun simply looked at him with finality.

"We talked about this, right?"

This got the taller’s smile wavering. Chanyeol blinked and nodded.

"Okay, we won't go." he said like it’s not a big deal when Baekhyun became a little more serious, "Let's just cuddle and watch Harry Potter."

That’s actually the best alternative. Smiling in satisfaction, the shorter planted a kiss on his lips through his car window.

"Let’s do that." he said, failing to notice how a trace of dismay lingered on his boyfriend’s smile.

—

“I saw them together at the parking lot this morning…” their subtle glances didn’t go unnoticed to Baekhyun, “I remember what Jiyeon said…”

Baekhyun swallowed while putting his books bag in his bag. He could tell that they’re not the only ones looking at him. He decided to go somewhere distant, walking past his classmates who continued talking as if he didn’t have ears.

“That’s impossible.” one of them said, chuckling derisively. “I don’t think Chanyeol would…”

“Yeah, from Sooyoung?”

“Maybe they’re just friends… he was his fanboy, anyway.”

The student had to grit his teeth hard and keep a straight face. Pretend he didn’t hear them, as usual. He’d always be the one to adjust.

He understood where they’re coming from. Compared to Chanyeol’s exes, what a downgrade, right? Especially to that cheerleader, or anyone else basically.

It surely is hard to believe.

When Baekhyun wouldn’t stop hearing their voices in his thoughts as he walked on the corridor, he’s reminded why he never wanted to let anyone know about his relationship with Chanyeol. Why he never revealed his identity to his online followers. Or why he simply couldn’t stop comparing himself to other people. At this point, it’s already exhilarating.

“Hey, Baekhyun!” Jongin smiled as if he was just looking for him. Baekhyun looked around and saw some students passing by gave them glances.

“Hi…” he forced a little smile, still uneasy about the littlest attention.

“About the plan—”

Baekhyun interrupted him, sounding a bit critical. “Can we talk somewhere else?”

Jongin blinked in surprise before reluctantly nodding.

“Okay…”

It took them a while before finding a spot that was a bit isolated. Jongin obviously wanted to ask why he was too eager not to be seen but Baekhyun’s clearly not in the mood to talk too much as well. He simply instructed him about the plan for Chanyeol’s surprise party. The team organized one after their captain got qualified to the best law schools in Seoul. Baekhyun’s job for the said event was to distract Chanyeol until the venue was fixed.

It was a simple task, really. That’s why it was hard to tell why Baekhyun seemed so preoccupied all throughout the conversation, mindlessly nodding even if Jongin wasn’t really sure if he understood.

After talking to Jongin, Baekhyun chose to wait for Chanyeol on the bench near Baek Nak Jun’s statue. Very few people walk past here at this hour, allowing him to find his peace back and feel better again once Chanyeol arrives. They’re about to celebrate tonight and his downcast shouldn’t be spoiling what’s supposedly Chanyeol’s best night.

He’d get over this soon.

Baekhyun’s phone rang in the middle of waiting. His Mom was calling him in such an unusual time.

“Mom?” Baekhyun wearily shut his eyes when he heard her faint sniffing from the other line again, “Mom, why are you crying again? What is it th—”

_“Baek… y-your father’s leaving me.”_

He straightened up from his seat, blinking slowly.

“What?” Baekhyun started shaking his head, “No… no, you guys are okay now, right—”

 _“He said he wants a divorce…”_ his mother continued with still breaking voice, _“H-He left… just now, with some of his things. He said he’ll look for a new apartment for now.”_

Baekhyun couldn’t speak right after that. He could only hear his mother’s light sobs from the other line, slapping him with the truth that it’s really happening. Their family has completely crumbled down.

“I-I can talk to him…” he gulped, “He’ll listen t-to me… I’ll convince him to go back, he’ll surely—”

_“Baekhyun, it’s done. It’s useless… he hates me so much.”_

“That’s not true! J-Just try a little more, Mom, please… don’t give up on each other.” his voice raised while breathing heavily.

 _“Chanyeol…”_ he blinked rapidly upon hearing the name out of the blue.

“What?” he asked even if his heart was already beating frantically for a reason yet to be known, “What’s with Chanyeol?”

 _“H-He started to become like this after talking to Chanyeol.”_ his mother said weakly, _“Did you tell him about us, Baekhyun? I asked him what they talked about and he wouldn’t respond properly.”_

Baekhyun felt even more crushed. There were a lot of questions in his head, but he couldn’t utter any word anymore. He recalled the clear image of them talking. He recalled how happy he was while watching them, thinking that his life began getting so much better when Chanyeol came.

_“He w-was just saying sorry… he’s so sure about the divorce after that.”_

He remembered that clearly. So he wanted to know how. How did it end up this way?

_“Just like that… Baek.”_

“Hi Baek.” the taller placed a kiss on top of his head, “How long have you been waiting?”

It’s almost six in the evening and the basketball captain still had a lot of energy. A good thing for someone who still had a party to attend, right? He barely even noticed the unusual silence from his boyfriend as they walked along the university premise. He was blabbering a lot, like his usual talkative self around Baekhyun. The latter would only give an occasional nod or hum, gaze directed straight ahead.

“The guys are acting weird in the practice today.” Chanyeol continuously spoke, dismissing the decreasing distance between them since they’re nearing the gates anyway. No one was close to see them too, “It’s even funnier because Jongin is so obvious when he’s trying to cover up something just like their surprise party for me two years ago. I was just pretending I didn’t—”

“Chanyeol.” Baekhyun firmly said beside him, giving a quick side glance while still walking. “Don’t walk right beside me. People can see.”

“We’re just walking…” Chanyeol chuckled when he looked around and saw a very few students far from them and some university staffs, “Surely, they won’t mind.”

“Yes, they would.” the shorter said while still looking ahead, “It’s not usual for them to see you with someone like me, Chanyeol.”

“Babe, who cares about what they think? They don—” he retreated from holding his shoulder when Baekhyun paused to look at him coldly.

“I care!” he said with so much frustration, “Please, let’s just keep our distance in the school grounds.”

“Okay.” Chanyeol immediately nodded and kept distance, “Okay, babe. I’ll walk right here…”

Baekhyun continued to walk ahead of him until they reached the parking lot. It was also clear to Chanyeol that something’s wrong when he snapped like that. But as always, he merely assumed it’s simply exhaustion or Baekhyun’s unpredictable mood swings.

“Can I stand beside you now?” he caught his pace and walked right beside him, but Baekhyun slowed down this time with lips pursed into thin line. “Where do you want to go? Shall we eat first? There’s a new movie out—”

“What did you say to my Dad?”

Chanyeol stopped when the other looked at him with bloodshot eyes, lips slightly quivering.

Confusion etched all over his face, “What…?”

Baekhyun did a dry sniff before seriously staring at him.

“After you talked… a-after his birthday, he started becoming distant to my Mom again and now he’s asking for a divorce.”

“I don’t know…” Chanyeol huffed out, panicking as he tried to recall whatever they talked about that day. But he didn’t remember anything bad that he possibly said, “I-I don’t… remember saying anything bad. I don’t know, Baek. I’m so sorry… we were just casually talking about you—”

“M-My parents were already trying, Chanyeol…” Baekhyun had to let out a desperate sigh, “I’m trying to fix my family here and you just have to say something so impulsive!”

“I-I can talk to your Dad…” Chanyeol offered but the shorter shook his head.

“No…” Baekhyun firmly said, “Don’t bother. That will only make things worse.”

Chanyeol felt a sharp pain in his chest when he tried reaching out for his hand, but Baekhyun instantly pulled it away. Baekhyun looked so worn out now that he finally got to see it better. He looked like everything just piled up all together and crashed onto him to pull a certain trigger. Not just his parents’ divorce.

“Just… I-I can’t… stop having these thoughts.” he said after wiping his cheek, “w-what could you have said to make him leave my Mom, Chanyeol?” he paused when the lump in his throat made it more difficult for him to continue, “And at what point of our relationship… will y-you say the same things to me?”

Chanyeol looked up, blinking from the last few words. He gritted his teeth before slowly shaking his head.

“I know you’re mad, babe… but that’s just not fair.” he said pleadingly. It hurt him so much that Baekhyun thought about him that way. That he’d be capable of saying that, “You know it’s never my intention to hurt you, Baek. Even if you want to keep me as a secret, I’m fine with it. I never complained. But I-I think that’s just not fair to say—”

“Okay, now you’re bringing that up?” Baekhyun looked at him in disbelief, getting more and more blinded by anger. “You know why we can’t and I thought you understood!”

“You’re worried about what people would think… or say, I know that.” Chanyeol said while looking at him directly, “But how about me? How about what I feel?”

The shorter fell silent.

The stolen glances. The distance they had to maintain. The secret smiles. The way Baekhyun flinches whenever someone looks at them. It was killing him. Chanyeol tried to understand why it’s so hard to show everyone how much they love each other but it’s just so difficult sometimes. He was always made to feel like everyone else mattered more to his boyfriend than their happiness. Now, he just had to finally say it.

Baekhyun clenched his jaw, but he didn’t say anything. It felt like he’s given more reason to be mad. He always told Chanyeol why he didn’t want to let anyone know about them and he would always agree. Now he’s taking it against him? Now that he feels so broken already?

At that point, Baekhyun just refused to see every point he’s trying to make. While Chanyeol realized that the last thing he wants is to lose him, too.

“I-I’m sorry.” the taller apologized but he’s not having it anymore, “I shouldn’t have brought that up now. Forget it. Let’s just go, babe—”

“No, you go ahead.” Baekhyun said without looking at Chanyeol’s shattered expression, “I-I’m taking a cab.”

“Baekhyun, please…”

“I want to be alone, Chanyeol.” Baekhyun firmly told him and began walking away, “Let me fix this on my own first.”

Baekhyun left him alone, dismissing the continuous texts from Jongin about further instructions for the supposed party.

—

_Are you awake?_

_The guys threw me a surprise party yesterday._

_It was really fun, though I had to go home earlier than them._

_Did you have dinner?_

_I watched Eternal Sunshine, by the way. I understand why you like it a lot._

_Yoora went here today. To visit. She thought she’d see you so she was bummed._

_Maybe we can have lunch with her sometimes. She’s dying to meet you._

_I’m really sorry, B_

_I really miss you. So much._

_But take your time_

It was awful.

For the past weekend, all he ever did was avoid Chanyeol. It wasn’t the easiest thing to do when the other would send him messages every now and then. Very much like their usual catching up, except it’s all on him. Baekhyun wouldn’t send a single text back. Chanyeol also seemed to get the hint and never tried calling him. He knew Baekhyun needed this time for himself and for his family.

He stayed with his Mom all the time. The first day was an emotional one for her, but she never said anything to Baekhyun whenever he asked what really happened to them. It’s like she’s scared to break her son’s heart even more by elaborating their downfall. Baekhyun hated it. He’s not a child anymore. They’re just making him shoulder the baggage when they try protecting him like this.

When he saw his mother reviewing an important file that looked exactly like divorce papers, he somehow understood why they tried keeping some things on their own. Simply watching her sign them without even shedding another tear broke him further. He was the one that cried hard in his room that night. Maybe this was what they didn’t want him to undergo, after all.

At Monday morning, he got taken aback upon seeing her back to normal again. His Mom is in her office clothes, sipping her coffee while reading the newspaper. She didn’t look as miserable as her son right now, who had visible dark circles under his eyes, looking so deprived of sleep and soul.

“Mom?” Baekhyun slightly panicked, “Where are you going?”

“Work.” she said casually that earned her nothing but a look of disbelief from the boy, “I cooked your breakfast, by the way. Just heat it.”

“Wait, wait.” Baekhyun stood right in front of her, looking so worried. “You can skip work first, Mom. Just say you’re sick… stay here for a while.”

“Why?” he raised his brows in disbelief when she asked him that. Wasn’t it an obvious reason?

“Y-You’re still not fine…” he mumbled and heard a deep sigh from her.

“Baek, honey… I’m fine.” she said reassuringly while standing up from her seat to walk towards him, “I’m okay, don’t worry.”

“Mom, you’re getting a divorce…” he insisted even if he’s completely aware that his mother was never the type to pretend and sugarcoat things, “I-I know it’s painful that’s why I’m here for you… no need to pretend it’s fine.”

He just… refused to believe that it’s this easy for her. For both his parents.

They had been together for a long time, right? They have a son. Why was it a piece of cake for them to move on and continue life separately?

“I know you’re affected by this, honey. I’m really, really sorry for that.” he gulped when she sincerely apologized. Baekhyun couldn’t accept it. For the first time, he saw something in his Mom’s eyes that he barely saw before. “But please don’t let this ruin things for you. It’s between us, your Dad. It’s not your fault or responsibility.”

She looked so free.

“Life goes on, Baek. For all of us.” her hand caressed his cheek, “Don’t worry about us now. Okay?”

After his last class for the day, Baekhyun instantly left. Like he’s scared to bump into someone.

His eyes looked so dead and his body felt so heavy. Still, it couldn’t compete to the weight in his chest. His mother’s advice just won’t apply to him. He couldn’t figure out how his parents could easily do that. Move on like nothing happened while he’s still here, stuck in misery because he never got to figure out what went wrong for the family he values so much to be ruined like this. He simply wanted a proper explanation but no, they left him both crushed and confused.

It’s even worse when the only person he had was the same one who brought things to this point. Baekhyun guessed he didn’t really have anyone, then.

He just couldn’t look at Chanyeol without being frustrated. That’s probably why he chose to avoid him since then because he didn’t want to ruin everything even more.

But what exactly is he doing now? How is this helping?

“Baekhyun-ah.”

He instantly looked up from the floor when a familiar voice called him. Mr. Byun was waiting near Yonsei’s gate.

His father gave him a little smile even if Baekhyun didn’t return anything. The boy hardly fought the urge to hug him tight after not seeing him for a few days. He doesn’t know if he’d ever get used to going back to their home without seeing his Dad there. Simply thinking about it is unbearable.

“Dad, why are you here?”

The older gulped, “I’m just hoping if I can drive you home.”

“You’re going back?” Baekhyun couldn’t conceal the hope from his tone, but it crashed so soon when his father sadly smiled and shook his head.

“No…” he told his son honestly even if it’s hard, “I talked to your Mom before coming here, Baek. It’s clear for the both of us now.”

Baekhyun’s eyes warmed with tears again. He looked at his father, pleading for answers.

“Dad… why?”

His father has always been a quiet man, never vocal about his feelings. But right then, his eyes were vividly filled with so much pain while looking at the drastic effect of their choices on Baekhyun. He knew he had to give him all the answers he needed.

“Let’s go to our favorite dessert place.”

—

to: park♥♥♥

_Chanyeol?_

Baekhyun spaced out after sending the message. The silence in the house was deafening, considering he’s all alone. It’s only broken when not a minute had passed and his phone already rang from Chanyeol’s incoming call. It was as if he’s just always waiting for Baekhyun.

 _“Baek?”_ he tried to hide the eagerness in his voice, _“Y-You texted… what is it?”_

Baekhyun remained sitting on the edge of his bed. He caught a glimpse of himself through the mirror nearby, getting to see how swollen his eyes were, still.

“Can we meet?” his tone barely implied anything that could give the other a sign, “I need to say something.”

Chanyeol didn’t answer immediately. When he did, fear became too evident in his voice.

_“W-What… is it?”_

Baekhyun gulped.

“I’ll tell you later.” he muttered, “Is it okay?”

 _“Okay…”_ Chanyeol said after an audible sigh, _“Where?”_

“I’ll just text you.” Baekhyun said and didn’t make it any longer, “See you.”

After a moment of thinking, he decided a place to meet up. He told Chanyeol he’d meet him near his apartment building. That’s the best place to do it. He wouldn’t want to make it more difficult for the other anymore.

Baekhyun had been thinking the entire day. He had so many realizations after that talk with his father. That’s probably why as he set up the camera on his usual spot, it’s already much easier than he expected. He repeatedly looked at himself through the mirror, thinking whether he should put a light foundation or concealer to at least cover the circles around his eyes. In the end, he sat on his recording chair with bare face.

As soon as he pressed record, the worries came back all at once. He felt like throwing up, but he mastered and got a grip of his courage to stay in front of the camera.

“Hello, everyone.” he awkwardly smiled at it, despite his heart beating frantically against his chest. “S-So… as you can see this is a really different cover because… first of all, you can see my face now.” Baekhyun gulped, “Some might recognize me somewhere… from school, from the streets, or convenience store. Who knows, really…”

He paused.

There’s still the same hesitation. Same urge to turn the camera off and delete what he already recorded. But he’s reminded of the main reason why he’s finally doing this. It’s much stronger than all his doubts.

So he spoke again, with more conviction this time.

“I’m Byun Baekhyun, by the way. I’ve been running this channel anonymously for more than two years now. Mostly because… I’m anxious about how people would perceive me if they know too much about me. I was so scared to be criticized because… I j-just easily get so insecure.” there he said it, and it felt so great. His smile became braver, “But over the past two years, you’ve given me nothing but positive feedback and encouragement. And now I finally have the guts to let you know me better.”

But it was just the start. He had so much to say and he didn’t know how far this courage would take him. He knew that he would possibly regret this later on. Still, Baekhyun exhaled a deep breath and continued.

_“Okay…”_

Baekhyun took the bus towards Chanyeol’s apartment.

He spaced out the whole ride, simply staring out the window while his thoughts continuously flowed in his head. After trying multiple times, he decided not to practice the exact words to say. He’d let it go genuinely.

Upon nearing the village, he stared long on his phone while the video uploaded. Unlike before where he would recheck the content and read the first comments, he immediately exited the app, just in time when the bus stopped. He got off and took a minute to walk towards the small park close to the said building.

Baekhyun stopped when he saw Chanyeol’s back facing him. The taller was looking at his phone. It’s not hard to assume that he’s starting to watch the new and sudden upload. Before he could continue, Baekhyun took a deep breath and cleared his throat.

“Hey.” he gave him a timid smile when Chanyeol finally faced him.

“Baekhyun…” he gulped before putting his phone back in his pocket.

They looked at each other for a while, both gazes longing. Baekhyun realized how much he missed Chanyeol but he couldn’t even step closer. He couldn’t. Something else needed to be done.

“I talked to my Dad today.” Baekhyun started off with a sad smile.

Chanyeol looked at him expectantly, holding his own breath.

“W-What did he say?” he asked while blinking, “Was it my fault?”

Baekhyun bit his lip before nodding.

“Yes…”

Chanyeol looked down to the floor, guilt written all over his face. It pains Baekhyun that he didn’t even bother asking or making sure he actually said something wrong. He simply accepted that he’s at fault and that he’d done something terrible.

How could he deserve him?

“He said…” he paused when his face slightly contorted because of tears brimming in his eyes, “t-that you were telling him how much you love me.”

Chanyeol looked up at him, stilled by the said words. But Baekhyun continued.

“H-How much I make you really happy even with the simplest ways…” Baekhyun tried to keep a brave face but his voice wouldn’t just stop breaking, “and that you’ve never been so sure about someone like… how y-you are with me.”

He breathed out, “Baek…”

The shorter took another hard gulp before flashing a sad smile.

“I-I guess my parents never felt that way for each other… even at their best times.”

Tears finally blurred his eyes. Chanyeol watched him with so much concern.

“Are you okay?” he asked an obvious question, but Baekhyun nodded frantically while taking big steps towards him. Chanyeol instantly opened his arms wide to accept and embrace him tight.

The shorter started sobbing uncontrollably while he hushed him down.

“I-I’m so sorry…” he mumbled against Chanyeol’s chest, clutching his clothes firmer. “for everything I’ve said… f-for everything.”

“Sshh. Don’t worry about it now, baby.” Chanyeol whispered against the top of his head, “I don’t like it when you’re crying.”

Baekhyun clearly remembered the moment he broke down in their favorite dessert place today. In front of his father who was simply smiling at him. When he heard all his explanation, everything made sense. He accepted that not all couples are really meant for each other, and his parents are one of them. They tried everything they could, but they just fell out of love.

And he realized how stupid he was for taking it for granted when he already found the best he could ask for. Doubted him like what he always did to himself. He’s done with all of those.

“I-I’m so guilty about judging you like that… I want to make it up to you…” he said and looked up at Chanyeol’s face. The taller smiled at the sight of his tear-stained face and reddened nose, “Even if it’s embarrassing I-I’ll do it…”

“Just let me hug you more.” Chanyeol chuckled and wrapped him in his arms again.

“I-I don’t want us to end up like my parents…” Baekhyun mumbled weakly, but Chanyeol heard it and pulled away to look at his face. “I know i-it’s too early to say that but…”

“It’s not too early, we both know that.” Chanyeol gave him a sincere smile, “I love you. And I meant every word I said to your parents because I’m sure. I’m so sure about us and I don’t want to hold back anymore.”

Baekhyun sniffed as he nodded.

“M-Me too…” he bumped his forehead against the taller’s chest because looking at him still gets too much for him to handle sometimes. He just had to say this one confidently, “I’m so scared… b-because I really want you here with me for a long, long time. For good, Park.”

“Then you’re gonna get just that.” Chanyeol chuckled before gently holding his chin to make him look up again.

“B, listen to me.” he started off while looking at the shorter, “One day, I’m not gonna be Yonsei’s basketball captain… or the cool guy everyone likes.” Baekhyun finally smiled because of this but he continued, “So whatever people say about us now won’t matter, then. It won’t even be remembered. All that matters to me in this relationship is what you think or say or do. To hell with everybody else.” his nose crinkled, “Okay?”

Baekhyun nodded; _to hell with everybody else._

“I love you…”

“That’s it.” Chanyeol grinned boyishly, wrapping an arm around his shoulder as he placed a kiss on his forehead. They started walking back to the apartment building, “I love you, too… I can always spot you even from the upper box.”

“Stop with these journal references…”

“Okay.” Chanyeol paused for a while, “Let’s just go inside and have some asterisks session.”

“Park, I swear to god.”

_“And aside from my true identity… I want to take this as a first step to make it up to the person behind all of this.”_ Baekhyun was obviously holding his tears back, _“Who’s been… my driving force for the past few months… years, even.”_ he chuckled despite his eyes glistening, _“Since he was my biggest crush and now that he’s mine for real, h-he’s still the reason behind every song I’ve ever sung here.”_

The smile wouldn’t leave Chanyeol’s lips while staring on his phone. His airpods were plugged in both his ears. He’s finishing the video he began watching a while ago.

 _“S-Sorry about that.”_ the beautiful boy apologized after a tear fell down from his eyes. There’s a bittersweet feeling watching him like this, _“But yes, I’m in love with the best person out there and… I just don’t want to hide it anymore. He deserves to be shown off to everyone and I want him to know that. I’m just really… really lucky that he loves me, too.”_

Chanyeol feels the happiest he’s ever been. Watching Baekhyun finally having courage to go out of his comfort zone. To see him working on getting rid of his insecurities and be more vocal about his feelings. He’s grateful to have witnessed it all.

 _“By the way, I won’t drop a name for now. I want to make it up to him so he can decide where we first publicize this thing.”_ he blushed a little, _“Which by the way… I’m praying hard, isn’t somewhere embarrassing.”_ Baekhyun sheepishly smiled at the camera, easily infecting him to do the same.

From now on, he’d gladly be there while Baekhyun does all of this. While he reaches all his dreams. He’d be there to give him all the reason to feel good about himself and whatever he wants to do. Chanyeol would be there to remind him whenever he’s insecure that there’s no need to feel that when he’s basically someone’s whole world.

 _“So babe, if you’re watching this, we’ve probably already made up and are doing something else.”_ the boy in the video took a deep breath while smiling genuinely, _“Okay, everyone. Sorry about all of that cheesy and nasty things— let’s get to the cover for tonight.”_

Chanyeol smiled a little, moving his gaze from the screen towards the face pressed on his chest, hugging him in his sleep.

His whole damn world.

_“Here’s Shall We.”_ the same boy spoke from his screen, mirroring the same smile that settled on his lips. _“For the best boyfriend anyone could ask for.”_

—

The comments easily started flooding as soon as the live video started.

Instead, of the usual cute boy greeting everyone, it’s rather a new face. Well… not exactly new since he was introduced in the recent cover video posted last weekend.

Still though, he sure had a lot of guts to start a live video by himself. On a channel he doesn’t own. Given the possibility that he’s about to get a good beating once he’s caught.

“Hello guys…” Yonsei’s basketball captain innocently smiled at the camera, contrary to the fact that he’s wearing a tank top to expose his toned arms. “welcome to my channel.”

****raesoo ∙ 09:42** **

_OMG are you finally doing a solo cover???_

****appliepie ∙ 09:42** **

_Why are you whispering, Yeollie?_

****fluffeols ∙ 09:43** **

_This isn’t your channel, Park give it back to our bobohu!!!_

“I am bobohu’s boyfriend so this is _my_ channel too, _fluffeols_.” he squinted his eyes before smiling at the other comments again, “No, _raesoo_ I’m not doing a cover because someone else profits from my talent. I am whispering because someone’s still sleeping.” he grinned before glancing at the sleeping person on the bed, covered by thick blanket.

****NiniKim ∙ 09:45** **

_If you think we got over that nasty stunt last Saturday, Park then you’re wrong_

_And pls put some decent shirt on, this is supposed to be a wholesome channel_

“Blah blah, whatever _NiniKim._ ” he mocked the comment from a familiar user that had been commenting on his boyfriend’s channel recently. He’s going to smack his head for that once they see each other again, “Hey, you guys know that handsome Yonsei point guard? That’s him. Go flood his account, he’s single.”

“Alright, since that game last Saturday where… we made a little public scene.” he smirked simply at the thought, “I noticed that there are more followers from Yonsei now, too! Hello, welcome!”

The comments flowed even faster.

****orangejello ∙ 09:47** **

_Little public scene u mean when u made out in front of the whole stadium after Yonsei won????_

****pjsungie ∙ 09:47** **

_LITTLE PUBLIC SCENE HUH_

****yerieh ∙ 09:48** **

_Don’t worry about it Yeollie, it was really cute and hot :----)_

Chanyeol unapologetically shrugged, looking back at his boyfriend to make sure he’s still asleep.

It really was. He wouldn’t elaborate but to sum up what happened— it’s the perfect after-win moment, perfect way to finally publicize their relationship and the most perfect way to spend the night of their sixth month of dating.

It was precious, and like what Yeri said, _really hot._ They couldn’t keep their hands off each other after that, for sure.

He looked back to the camera again.

“Well, I had to make a statement, okay?” he lightly rolled his eyes, “And thank you, Yeri. For once, we agreed on something.” he came up with his little stunt again, faking a curious face. “Oh… and where is user _toben?”_

****luvbbh ∙ 09:49** **

_Oh god_

****fluffeols ∙ 09:49** **

_Here he goes again_

“He doesn’t comment!” Chanyeol creased his brows before gasping, “Aaaah, he’s the one doing the live!” he smiled big while wiggling his brows even when the comments begged him to stop. Jongin even sent a middle-finger emoji, “From being a simple commenter like you, now he’s dating _B_hundred_. Must feel nice… don’t give up on your dreams guys.”

At first, people would surely be shocked that Baekhyun’s dating the cool and handsome Yonsei captain. But eventually everyone simply wondered how Baekhyun was able to keep up with someone so dorky and weird.

“Anyways, to end my cute little live, let me show you the view you’re missing every day since you’re asking for some cute stuff.” he quietly walked towards the bed, putting his finger against his lips. “Sshh…” then Chanyeol gently sat on the bed and showed his boyfriend on camera, who’s still cutely purring in his slumber.

****pjsungie ∙ 09:50** **

_OMG BAEKHYUNNIE_

****yolimerence ∙ 09:51** **

_Why is he doing a ‘sshh’ as if we can make a noise????_

“Hey baby…” he mumbled and the sleeping boy instinctively clutched his hand on his face. Chanyeol sent a bragging look at the camera.

****NiniKim ∙ 09:53** **

_I came here for the cover_

****myeorndog ∙ 09:53** **

_HE’S SO CUTE OMG MORE PLS_

****imisssoo ∙ 09:54** **

_BOOP HIS NOSE COWARD_ _☹_

****Kyungie2129 ∙ 09:55** **

_No need to brag you lovesick idiot_

Chanyeol laid down beside the sleeping Baekhyun and let the latter bury his face on his shoulder. He’s still holding the phone, but his gaze lingered much longer on the shorter’s face, dismissing the comments that were either squealing or simply envious.

He smiled. He can’t really blame them.

“Babe…” Baekhyun sleepily mumbled, eyes still closed.

“Hmm?” he hummed. Chanyeol’s too caught up reading the comments.

“Spoon me please…”

Chanyeol almost dropped the phone on the side. His eyes widened, slowly detaching himself from Baekhyun’s hold to do damage control. _Everyone surely heard that._

“Okay, just a minute babe.” he mumbled shakily and ran out of the room with the phone still in his hands. When he looked at the comments, everyone was in havoc.

****raesoo ∙ 09:57** **

_OH MY GOD HAHAHAHA_

****yolimerence ∙ 09:58** **

_HE ASKED YOU TO SPOON HIM DUMBASS_

****applepie ∙ 09:58** **

_OMG how can he be so cute and hot at the same time_

****whatsoodoing** ** _∙_ ****09:58** **

_Don’t turn off the live Park please!!!_

“Okay… that was awkward hehe. Sorry he sleeptalks all the time.” his own plan seemed to backfire on him when Baekhyun unknowingly asked for spooning in public. In his own channel. That was something exclusively for him to hear, so yes, he’s so dead. “Bye for now!”

The fans continued to poke fun at him in the comments, he even caught another comment from Jongin before he bid goodbye.

****NiniKim ∙ 09:59** **

_KKSKAKSKSKS U NASTY MFS_

He nervously smiled at the camera, completely decided that he’d delete every trace of this secret live. He didn’t notice the gentle footsteps coming out of the room.

“Forget this live happened and don’t mention anything on the comments or I’m dead.” he told everyone, “Okay, guys? See—”

“Babe… what are you do—” Baekhyun came out from the room with nothing but an oversized shirt, hair still sticking out to every direction. He stilled from rubbing his eyes upon seeing his boyfriend holding his camera in his hand.

“—you next time…?”

“PARK CHANYEOL!”

**_fin._ **


End file.
